Very good, eh wot.
Could be worse. We had a poster post a weird story about a lady that visiited his Mom and pooped in the bathroom trash(hamper?) or something like that. She did it more than once and covered it with towels or something.
Anyone remember that thread?
I think I remember that…wasn’t she wiping her bottom with towels and hiding them in the hamper?
And a bajillion spoons is a bad thing how?
A co-worker once told me a story about a work friend we shared named Tim. They split a hotel room on a company golf outing and Tim got awfully drunk and pooped sitting on the suitcase stand right onto the hotel room floor. He realized his error and attempted to clean it up (drunkenly) w/ room towels. This was less than successful and the guys got charged for them. Or rather, the company got charged for them and the guys had to explain to the Accounts Dept why their hotel bill included towels. :smack:
The company paid for Tim to go into treatment after a second DUI not long after that, so hurray for a happy ending! Also, if Tim is reading this, it was Mark who ratted you out.
Come to think of it; have you ever seen the sock thief and the fork thief in the same place at the same time?
Hmm…
I’m sorry. I thought that SG was still in Arizona.
I sure miss the SG stories. I realize that you (flatlined) had to pay a lot for them, in time, money, and energy, but damn, you just can’t make up shit like that. And I’m speaking as someone who reads a lot of fantasy.
As for the forks…check the garbage disposal? Other than that, I’m gonna go with the Underpants Gnomes theory.
My stepdaughter keeps bringing my good cutlery to work. She brings back my Tupperware with crappy cutlery from the restaurant she works in back home. I have a bunch of cheap forks and spoons and my own nice stuff is diminishing. If you are going to use the restaurant stuff then don’t bring my good stuff.
On the other hand, I put one set of the crappy stuff she brings home in my work bag to use with my lunch. Its too hard to borrow cutlery where I work, all the forks knives and spoons are on count. (Psychiatric facility)
Our former housemate used to work at a steakhouse. After closing the waitstaff had to stay late wrapping silverware in napkins. One night she wanted to leave early so she stuck all the steak knives in her backpack. So we had sort of the opposite problem.
Having searched more than one garbage bag (work and home) for critical lost items in my life I can say with some authority the large majority of silverware that goes “missing” is accidentally thrown out in the trash.
Win.
(My first thought, however, was Shredder Guy. Maybe he’s to blame for my fork shortage - the salad forks are rapidly dwindling, which sucks, because I figure that if I eat cake off a salad plate, using a salad fork, it counts as a salad. Lack of forks is killing my diet.)
Eccentric Borrowers? 
What the fork is going on?
I thought she wiped, then refolded the towels neatly,and put them back in the cupboard with the clean ones!
Not bad per se, but if all he needs is a knife it’s maybe a little bit ironic, don’t you think?
That’s ironic.
Hah! I’m loving the responses so far. Well, I can safely say, they aren’t ending up in the trash, as we have no kids and my wife doesn’t scrape her food. (that’s a separate thread…)
They aren’t ending up in the garbage disposal, as we don’t have one of those either.
I’m gonna have to go with either Yogi Bera, or those two-timing underpants gnomes. That’s the only logical explanation…
first thing I thought of.
Second was - what type of pets do you have? I have two thieves in my household: the rabbit and the kitten. The rabbit nicks the smaller stuff and hides it and the kitten goes for the bigger stuff (you will quite often see her wandering through with a knife or fork in her mouth. Every now and then I will find a cache of missing items and wonder how in the hell she manages to carry that?
BTW, I just FOUND a box of dry baby formula that expired in 2008.
We do not have kids.
I have no idea why it’s in the cupboard.
If anyone’s missing that, I’ll trade you for my forks!