Household mysteries.

Lots of things often go missing in a typical home. Pairs of sock become singles, keys roam, as does the tv remote, and lighters, tweezers and ink pens are seldom around when you want them. But when some things go missing, it’s a little more unusual. In my case, it’s the forks.

Now mind you, I can’t remember how many forks I originally had. They aren’t from any one silverware set, but the collection of 20 years of housekeeping. I would guess that I had approximately 10-12 forks at the beginning of the year, based on a visual memory of them filling up the fork slot of the silverware drawer. A few weeks ago, once I had all the dishes in the house washed, dried and put away(yes, this is kind of rare) I noticed that I am down to three. Three forks, huddling together in my drawer.

This struck me as very strange. There was no reason for those forks to have gone missing. Neither I or my husband ever take food out of the house that needs silverware. We never have company of any kind, much less the fork-thieving kind. A fork isn’t a very good tool for anything else, and likely to be carried off to be used as an impromptu screwdriver, putty spreader, pry bar, etc. I’ve searched the kitchen thoroughly over the past week, while I put down new contact paper in all the drawers and cabinets, and not one fork showed a single shiny tine. I’m baffled.

Any ideas? Any household mysteries of your own to share?

I had bought a service-for four silverware set two years ago, which included four salad forks and four dinner forks. A little over a month ago I suddenly realized that three of the forks are missing (I’m not positive which ones, because I keep all eight of them in the same compartment of my silverware drawer and I don’t feel like wandering over to the kitchen to check). I’m also missing a teaspon, but that disappeared a while back.

Miss Manners always said that missing silverware was due to folks accidentally throwing it out. I’ve caught myself a time or two, scraping a plate or something and a piece of silverware falls into the trash.

In our case, we had missing bowls. We found out that our youngest daughter was eating ice cream at night while reading books in her bed; she was putting the empty bowls in her dresser drawer when she was through eating. :dubious:

Per the forks mystery…we’ve kind of one of our own. We moved into this house about five years ago. My husband & I take turns doing dishes. He’s a lefty, I’m a righty, so we use different sides of our divided sink for wash water & rinsing/holding clean dishes.

Thing is, the grate at the bottom of the sink on one side is bent, so occasionally, (when I, the righty) do dishes, a fork might slip down into the drain. The last time my husband cleaned out said drain, we ended up with two extra forks. (Neither of us recognize the patterns).

Love, Phil

My household mystery is the disappearing plastic closing things from bread bags. Every time I open a bag of bread and put the closer down, I turn around and can’t find it. I don’t do anything special with them; they just seem to blend into the counter as soon as they touch it.

I lost an earring when I put two of them (a pair) on my table. I came back later and found the other one, but one of them just is gone. I don’t know where else it could’ve gone to…no one else lives here. Very strange.

Oh, yeah, there’s that. My cat sits on the table, but is she wearing the missing earring? Nope. There’s one earring sitting just by her front paw, but the other earring is…gone.

Love, Phil

Maybe they said “fork you” and ran away.

I once lost the reciprocating saw for about 4 months. I was using it one day to massacre an old closet. My husband wanted to use it about a week later, and I couldn’t recall what I did with the thing. All he could say for the entire four months, was, “You do know how BIG that is, right? HOW can you lose something that large?!”
He sort of wandered around with a puzzled look on his face, too. A lot. He’d look at me and shake his head. No words needed to be spoken.

I finally found it when I was vacuuming under the bed. At that point, I recalled what I had done. I had stashed it under there, because company was dropping in on short notice, and I wanted to get it out of the way.

Regarding missing silverware, I lost all my spoons within the past 2 months. I have no idea where they went.

Back in the 90’s there was the Prozac mystery. I went to take my pill and couldn’t find the bottle. I looked and looked–I even looked under the bed. No sign of the Prozac.

I went to the psych and got another prescription. After I got home, I looked under the bed again and there was the old bottle of Prozac lying right where I’d looked for it a few hours before.

When I got my ileostomy, I was given a girdle-like thingy you can use to keep it in place when needed. I put it in a wardrobe. Some time later, I need it and start rummaging through the wardrobe for it. I move around every thing I have in there. I dig to the bottom. The girdle just isn’t there. Bummer. Could I have put it somewhere else? I don’t think so, but what the hell, I could use it. I search the apartment. No freaking girdle. I get a new one and think nothing more of it.

Weeks later I open that wardrobe again. What lies on top of a pile of clothes, in the center of my field of view, impossible to miss? You’ve got it.

I have girdle-gnomes in my apartment. Two factions, one evil (they steal girdles) and one good (they give girdles back). My home is a warzone.

My parents lost a fish once. We’d had the fishtank for ages. Suddenly there was a fish missing. First we thought it was hiding out or something, but it was honest-to-God gone. That fishtank has been drained, the house has been emptied and sold, and still no sign of the amazing disappearing fish.

Putty knives. We had some. We knew we had some. We were finishing some dormers and we needed them. They were gone. We looked everywhere. No putty knives. We bought two. We found one. And then two. And about a dozen more in different places. Places we’d previously looked. Now, when the need arises, we just look at each other. “Do we have any putty knives or should I just go buy some?” Just that threat makes them show themselves. Stupid putty knives think they’re going to fool us. Oh no, we’ve got their game now.

If there’s a cat or two in the house, you always have someone to blame. Our half-grown kitten is particularly bad about moving things. He loves to carry stuff in his mouth, particularly a toy, but he’ll carry ANYTHING.

If something is too big or heavy to blame on the cat, I always blame it on my husband. Because obviously I didn’t do it. I’m perfect. :stuck_out_tongue:

I am so grateful for this thread. I have lost my measuring spoons.

I had two “sets”–they are all-in-one type spoons: one for 1/4 tsp up to tsp and the other one from 1 tsp to 1 Tbsp. They live in a drawer together with the measuring cups. I use them all several times a week (I bake a lot).

I am missing the smaller of the two. Cannot find it to save my soul.

We are on our 5th remote and now have lost the DVD remote, which is horribly problematic because most of the controls are on the remote. We are on our 3rd universal remote for the TV. I now watch most movies on my laptop because of the DVD remote being gone.

Socks are totems of the Devil AFAIAC. I just replace socks every month or so. Used to be I could console myself and say, well, those lil socks have gone up and over into the inner part of the washing machine due to the agitator. I was smug. Then we bought a front loader washer–no agitator. Sock loss as high as before. It’s gnomes. :eek: I’m sure of it.

I came in here to post that. Now I got nothing! :smack:

My ex- used to use a mesh bag for delicate unmentionables. Fill with bras, panty hose, etc. and drop the whole thing in with the wash. Maybe that’s an experimental solution for socks?

ETA: the entire mesh bag then went into the dryer. 100% of what goes into the process comes out. Unless they’ve figured out how to work zippers! :eek:

You are clearly a superior being. I kneel at your feet. Now, if I just find that old mesh bag from college days…

I’m missing the 1/4 cup measure from a set of measuring cups I’ve had since I was five. I lost it sometime this year–I have no idea how. 35 years and how many moves, and now I lose one of the cups?

Anyway, this thread reminds me of a piece of flash fiction I read yesterday:

I’m doin’ what I can :smiley:

Seriously, Wally et al must have them for dirt cheep. You’re a family, right? I’d prolly go big and get a couple, since a fam goes through a lot of socks in a week (14 x number of members, anyway). Or maybe each kid gets one and they can sort their own!

That reminds me - my missing tools are the utility knives and the six-in-one screwdriver. We have many of both in the house - any guesses as to whether I can find one if I need one?

As for missing socks, have you checked your fitted sheets? They are sock stealers.

I have partially solved the sock mystery, at least as it applies to my daughter. She wears them to bed, and they either fall off or she takes them off in the night. There were like EIGHT socks down in the bottom when I stripped the bed to wash her sheets yesterday. EIGHT. Her brother, I got nuttin.’ Maybe he eats them.

I also have a solution for the missing earrings: after you set them down, one of them caught on your sleeve and rode there for a while, then dropped off somewhere else in your house. I found a thoroughly mashed earring in the bathroom one time. Everyone in the house must’ve stomped it for the several days it was missing.

Twenty years ago I had 16 teaspoons (serving for 12; four extras). I’m down to about three. At one point I bought a box of just teaspoons and I think about six of them are left. (I’m talking about spoons for dining, not measuring spoons.) I know that I throw them out because I’ve caught myself doing it several times.