I couldn’t hate Crocs more if they were made by skinning puppies alive and curing their hides in dolphin fat. They top the all-time list of hideous footwear, and that is before the advent of Croc socks. More on that in a minute. I think it’s time for a review:
Vans: Who would have thought that skate punks would think they looked cool in flamboyant loafers that would have made a teenage Liberace weep with longing.
Birkenstocks: When you are an ultra-crunchy wad of granola, and are afraid your greasy hair isn’t telling your story loud enough, Birkenstocks announce to the world that you are unique. Just like everyone else. Enjoy transcendence into equally crunchy geekdom by adding socks.
Air Jordans: What would you do for the pleasure of sweating buckets into leather high-tops, featuring a $100 premium for Nike’s poorly designed ,bubble-filled insoles? If you said, “gun down some kids with my gat,” then Air Jordans are for you.
Crocs: Ventilation holes or not, who wouldn’t enjoy a summer day with their feet crammed into waterproof, air-tight, zero arch support, colorful chunks of hard rubber? This beats making shoes out of duck tape and hockey pucks by at least 25%. Don’t just tell the world that you’d be just as happy riding the short bus to Taco Bell, show them that you mean it with pink rubber clogs.
And now… Croc is making socks. I’m not talking about looking like any ordinary asshole with Crocs and socks, I’m talking about the blessed assholiness of wearing Crocs with Croc Socks. It is fads like this that make me long for the next ice age.
You will get my Birkenstock clogs when you pry them from my cold, dead feet. They give my ingrown-toenail-prone feet plenty of room, protect my toes from further injury, and last forever. I don’t give a rat’s ass what anybody thinks my shoes say (including that I must be a lesbian to wear them, hardy har har). They’re comfortable and I like them.
Some perverse part of me finds it greatly humorous that Crocs and other goofy footwear could be right up there with obesity, guns, and Macs as the most contentious SDMB topics. I haven’t felt an ominous vibe like this since I suggested that most 20-somethings nowadays would rather be underemployed and complain than have to really work hard for success.
Ominous vibe? Contentious? You’re getting this from the three replies so far, two of which simply stated that they like their Crocs/Birks? Hardly an avalanche of condemnation, there.
Also, I like my Birkenstocks. They’re comfortable.
Crocs are hot as HELL!! Jeebus Almighty, I couldn’t agree more. I bought them for a pair of summer shoes, but shite, I’d have done better to wrap my feet in foam insulation. Also, I’ve blown through enough pairs of birks to put the lie to the notion of indestructability (and yes, I used the cork glue, got the soles tapped, etc. Face it, they wear out). Ironically, socks is the only real way to keep your birks from smelling like complete ass. It’s on the Nike Air that we part ways. I don’t wear high tops, but I find the Air Max 180+ to be the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever owned. Worth every penny.
I loved my 360’s until 50 miles per week blew out the air soles… kinda lame since this was after only about a month and I weigh a meager 165lbs. But I was referring to Air Jordans, which on top of everything else, originally came with about 2cc’s of air built into the insole, not the lower.
Surely you’ve some vitriol left for Tevas? I mean, they must be just as bad as Birkenstocks or Crocs, right? And don’t forget Converse!
Just for the record:[ul][li]I never owned Vans, but my Airwalks were quite comfortable.[]Naturally, Air Jordans were crap. I wore Pumps and was ever so much cooler for it.[]I never got into Birkenstocks because of aforementioned Tevas, but I’ve heard they are quite comfortable.[*]The sight of neon Crocs fills me with anger, but I’m not particularly offended by the blander colors. Just don’t stand next to me please-- your feet stink.[/ul]…make of that what you will. I was either dangerously fashionable or completely clueless. It’s so hard to tell where footwear is concerned.[/li]
Incidentally, what’s a “Croc Sock”? Is there a new trend for me to either be cooler than or avoid altogether?
Is there official Mod guidance on when one can feel surprised that their ritious and well deserved pitting has hit resistance? Maybe it’s the hyperbole that confused you, if that… eh fuck it. Suck my Birkencock.
No arch support, my ass. I have rediculously high arches and these are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned. My feet don’t get sweaty, they don’t smell, they keep me supported through all weekend house and yard work.
I still hate the hot pink or neon green ones, not for the shoe, but because of the throwback to that neon colored phase of the 80s. I have a pair of blue and black ones, and I’ll agree with Scarlett67, I don’t give a fuck what you think of my shoes.
You are my fucking hero! There couldn’t be more compelling evidence of the vileness of Crocs with socks. I wish I had a uterus so that I could bear a lovechild for you.
My name is Bobo, I carry a gun and I wear Crocs (sometimes with white socks), but I’m the only person I know that thinks they are uncomfortable. This is primarily due to my destroyed arches that generally require $250 insoles that provide all the comfort of having a walnut in your shoe but without the searing pain of other shoes. Crocs are slightly better than those other off the shelf shoes, and normal people seem to adore them.
Warning! The Croc people recommend you do not eat, nor attempt to eat, your Crocs.
The first time I saw a pair of Crocs, on a dear friend, I thought they were breathtakingly ugly. But she explained to me that they were in fact quite comfortable, economical, and stylish. Then I started seeing more and more people wearing them. Now, it seems like all my friends have them, in a rainbow of cheerful colors.
I still think that they’re the most aggressively unattractive shoes I’ve ever seen. In fact, now that I’m surrounded by them, I hate them much more.
Praise the bumfuck backwater that is my existence, I’ve never seen a pair of Crocs that I am aware of. Or Birkenstocks. And I ain’t paying $100 for any Air nothing. And I can’t even find a store in town that has Vans. My favorite comfortable shoes are $29 Dr. Scholl’s “Matrix” in black, but fucking Wally World evidently only had one pair of them so I don’t know what I’ll be wearing next time I need shoes.