it it
damn
Ohh, sounds like quite the challenge I need! Why is it i have already managed to alienate two other female Dopers, over a guy matter? Is it something innately Zoggie?
Ooooh Ooooh (raises hand) Can I be the slutty cousin with purple hair who may or may not be drunk and sits with a sneer on her face the whole time and you had to invite her cause your mom would be pissed if you didn’t? Please?
OOooH! Can I be the guy that throws rice!
I do not approve of any of this. The engagement should last at least 2 weeks, what is happening to the world young people just going off to get married. So I can be that guest that is never satisfied and sorta gossipy. I will of course have to go out and buy some support hose. What shade of wig should I get?
I’d like to state my willingness to be the lesbian therapist. (I’ve been told that it’s redundant, but hey.)
Crunchy Frog: I was going to actively persue you, based on the fact that we could ogle breasts together… but then I realized your destiny of true love. Besides, quietgirl would smack me.
little*bit - As your maiden of honor - I have the emergency kit, including, but not limited to:
[ul]
[li]two extra pairs of stockings (ALWAYS carry extra pantyhose - just a rule of life)[/li][li]club soda for cleaning off the dress when someone spills something on it (seen it happen at every wedding I’ve attended)[/li][li]extra safety pins and sewing kit for when Jack Batty goes to dance with you and drunkenly steps on the train, leaving a 2-foot long gash in the material (aunt’s wedding, 1972)[/li][/ul]
I’ve also taken the liberty of sewing the rings down to the ringbearer’s pillow, so there won’t be any panic looking for them when the ringbearer throws a temper tantrum and runs down the aisle (cousin’s wedding, 1981 - ring rolled under the 4th pew and everyone had to get up to look for it.)
Bad news - the church soloist has quit - mortified after accidentally belching into the microphone at the start of the processional (cousin’s wedding, 1987). Found a possible replacement - college group - harp and recorder (friend’s wedding, 1994. Better than the church organist who launches into ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ halfway through the processional. (UL/snopes)
Unsolicited advice - avoid a cake with pillars supporting the upper layers - they tend to topple (cousins’ and friends’ weddings in 1972, 1977, 1984, 1985 [ya think they’d learn by now], 1988, 1991, 1993, 1996, 1999). I was nowhere near the table for those. Only my 2nd cousin’s wedding in 1968. That one was me.
Awright. If I can’t be in the band, can I be a groomsman? I’d like to be the perverted one that hits on all the bridesmaids and makes the mother of the bride roll her eyes.
:rolleyes:
Still in need of another bridesmaid? I’ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid, but all of my girl friends seem to want females as their bridesmaids. I don’t understand why. <sigh>
I’ll wear a dress!! Really I will!!
LL
I’ll be a bridesmaid, I guess. I’m sure I’ll look better in the dress than Lazarus would? Just one question? Can I wear fishnets under my dress? I just got them and I love them and they make my legs look hot.
Ummm…Anybody seen the groom? When is this shindig going to be, anyway? Hope he gets here on time.
To everyone who replied to this thread, I’m sure we can find a place for all of you in the wedding. I just need you all to please move to this thread.
I’m going to ask that this one be closed because it’s too hard for me to keep track of both of them & it was really started as more of a wedding announcement. See you in the other thread.