Yes, that’s right, everybody’s favorite amphibian is getting married to none other than little*bit! Sure, they’re a cute couple, but, as the best man, it’s my job to get as close to ruining the wedding in one night as possible, without actually doing so.
So, currently, we’re set up in an old, abandoned airplane hanger. Don’t worry, I “talked” to the cops, we shouldn’t have a problem. Now, as for the goods, we’ve currently got:
a freight trains of booze, to guaruntee and inexhaustable bar, tended by yours truly.
An entourage of strippers, though we could always use some more, if any of yooze ladies are interested.
Any kind of junk food imaginable, be it ice cream, pizza, or Ukelele Ike’s lard-fried chicken.
And, of course, polaroid cameras for everybody, case ol’ Crunch decides to embarrass hisself.
So, come on in, grab a drink, and lets see if we can’t find a use for all these discarded airplane parts. Ooh! A jet engine!
*grabs a drink, starts a’ singin’ and wondering what would happen if we hooked up that jet engine to… hmmmm…
I suggest you try Zoggie as a stripper. She’s already declared her intention to try & seduce Ron before the wedding. Might as well give her a fair shot.
I’m not too worried. I’m pretty sure I can think of something to keep his interest. The suggestion in my sig was one of my more tame amusements.
Is the bride supposed to turn up to the bachelor party?
Little*bit–do like my wife did before my bach bash–give him the best tied-up-and-blindfolded full-body massage and blowjob ever. He won’t care about the strippers a bit. Unless he’s got a quick recoup time, in which case you might have to do him twice.
Count me in on the party, though. Hell, the married guys are who it’s for anyhow, not the groom. He’s getting some tomorrow night and we’re probably not.
No she’s not!!!
Go away little*bit!!! You know we love you BUT…
Go to your hens night already!! And no, we’re not mixing the two
Ok, here I am! Where’s the strippers? Where’s my gifts? Where’s the strippers? What the hell is my virtual fiance doing here?
Where the hell are my strippers!?!?
escorts the fiancee outside Soory little*bit but rules is rules.
Now back to the drinking. I might have to leave early if I get this other gig…
Cheers Crunchy signals the two ‘cheerleader’ strippers to come over and start for us
And was I supposed to be invited or can I just turn up for free food/drinks/polaroid cameras/airplane bits?
hey, we need to settle the entertainment…
…drinks? Take a seat at the bar on the left…
…food? Take a seat at the buffet on the right…
…dancers here for an audition? Take your seat on my lap right here…
dpr - Pass me that lampshade.
Carves two holes in it with a pocketknife. Places lampshade firmly on head.
Hey, look guys! I’m that weird dude from Fat Albert.
Who wants to do flaming 151 shots? And where the hell are those strippers?
I’ll do some shots with you Thespos since there’s no strippers to be seen anywhere. Do you see any strippers? I don’t see any strippers. Oh JESTER . . .
::walks in with a projector and banker box::
I brought the stag films.
What the fuck do you mean, “They have those on tape now!”? I just spent all day trying to find a damn bulb for this projector.
No. Trust me on this. You’ve never seen anything till you’ve seen one the size of the side of a hanger. It’s just like you could walk inside of the sucker.
Get over here, Crunchy Frog. You have to pay the price for leaving the ranks of the cyber-single.
pours two double shots of 151
And now, a toast.
Here’s to the breezes
That blows through the treezes
And lifts the skirt above the kneezes
(unintelligible drunken mumbling)
Down the hatch!
Jester, where in the heck is the “entertainment?” I’m losing my freaking mind over here.
If this party doesn’t get overrun with nekkid wimmins soon, I may have to find a new best man.
What the hell . . .
What are we watching here?
Um, jesuslynch, I’ve only been to a couple bachelor parties in my time, but it’s always been my understanding that the stag films didn’t involve any actual deer.
Hey, jesuslynch, how 'bout you thread up this film?
"Debbie Does Dopers"
This better not be one of those bulimic bachelor parties.
I didn’t come here to see the cake jump out of the girl.
You know, if you all expected to hold auditions, you should have done that in advance…
Ok. I got this threaded up.
See! See! Look at the size of that!
Let’s see someone do that with a vcr.
OMG, she is doing it with a vcr.
Debbie! Debbie! Debbie!
Nice choice Wolf.
Crunchy, I’m gonna show the stuff with the stags around midnight. You better stay sober for that. Now, where’s the keg?
Hey, is the the party that’s looking for a stripper?
38-26-38, does that mean anything to you fellas?
Since it’s Crunchy Frog’s big night, then I’ll be the entertainment. (even though the groom already had a preview in this thread )
I’m wearing tight silver spandex pants with a smokey grey see-through top that shows my black peek-a-boo bra. My long mahogany brown hair alternately covers and reveals my “charms” as I sashay into the room.
:looking around: So will someone get the music ready?
Don’t forget your dollar bills, gentlemen.