[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Hestia *
Umm, who’s getting the nekkid pic? Me or Frog Boy? Will you have a tulip lodged somewhere? (see, no wooden shoe jokes)
Journalism, the finest of disciplines. So when do you start to chase around pseudo celebrities and twist the facts to suit your purposes? Rereads post oh, nevermind. When do you find something to write about in the Netherlands? “This just in, absolutely nothing happens here. Back to Bjorn with the weather.”
** Don’t listen to Crunchy! That only leads to the Dark Side!**
Wow, not the typical male at all. Just toss in “belching, ball scratching and a nasty porn habit.” Wow, you and Crunchy should be great pals!
And this is the best you can do? Unacceptable soldier! Now drop and give me twenty pushups, you lurking weakling!
Well, I thought Crunchy was working on it, Crunchy was probably distracted by something shiny, and as for Jester…he just had a birthday so he’s probably lying in a gutter somewhere, pants undone, in a puddle of his vomit. Or sleeping with his Burger King crown on, holding a Teletubbie, I’m not quite sure which.
I’m a college student, graduating next year with double degrees in physics and civil engineering. I just transferred to a new school this year.
I like woodchucks (the alcoholic kind), my cat, the color yellow, and Girl Scout cookies.
I am Magickly Delicious.
Oh, yeah, and all your green beer are belong to me.
Oooh, we got us a super geek! What exactly is “civil” engineering? Do you say please and thank you during? Put a napkin in your lap? Had to transfer, eh? The story about the clown suit and the goat will follow you everywhere.
[comic book guy] Worst frat party EVER.
[/QUOTE]
Hmm, creative spelling and beating a decomposed horse. A subtle hint of a rampart, unchecked in reality ego. BTW, we’re really not after your lucky charms. The pointy toed shoes maybe.
Dude! This is the Welcome Wagon. I got my insult, now my rampant, unchecked-in-reality ego wants a welcome!
Or, to further beat a decomposed horse, Welcome me, dammit!
:wally
Well, this one’s sure feisty!
Ok…first off I am not a “dude”. I don’t find farts amusing or scratch myself in public.
Second, thank YOU spelling police!
And third…keep dreaming :wally. You said the bad word therefore you forfeit your welcome. Thank you for playing!
I am a newbie. I’ve only been here for about half a year. I live in Little Rock, AR. I am always on the look out for a good song. I like mustard and hot sauce while still managing to despise most other condoments. I’m still in high school. I’m bored.
Crunchy Frog bangs his head against the wall as he realizes about 10-12 newbies and there subsequent welcomes have disappeared in the Great Post Purge of 2002[sup]TM[/sup]
It’s almost enough to make me want to just close the thread. BTW, where the hell is Jester? That boy is gonna get such a beatin’!
I’ll get to ringmaster later, probably tomorrow, unless someone else wants to take him.
Whoo freaking hoo. I envy the fact you live in such a hotbed of culture such as Little Rock. Tell me, if a tractor pull is booked on the east side and a rodeo on the west side, how many minutes before I pull out my hair strand by strand?
DID YOU READ THE THREAD?!?! It clearly states “do not mention condiments”! takes a closer look hmmm, nevermind, I guess…wow, there’s more flavors than mint?
Well I’m bored, so dance for me, monkey boy!
And ignore the banging noise. Crunchy just needs another “special cookie”. Grinds up a Thorazine tablet and sticks the powder in an Oreo Once he gets three or four of these in him, he’s fairly docile. Well, around men anyways…
Whoo freaking hoo. I envy the fact you live in such a hotbed of culture such as Little Rock. Tell me, if a tractor pull is booked on the east side and a rodeo on the west side, how many minutes before I pull out my hair strand by strand?
DID YOU READ THE THREAD?!?! It clearly states “do not mention condiments”! takes a closer look hmmm, nevermind, I guess…wow, there’s more flavors than mint?
Well I’m bored, so dance for me, monkey boy!
And ignore the banging noise. Crunchy just needs another “special cookie”. Grinds up a Thorazine tablet and sticks the powder in an Oreo Once he gets three or four of these in him, he’s fairly docile. Well, around men anyways…
hardygrrl ,
Thanks for your post, I feel so welcome now. I didn’t realize I shouldn’t listen to Crunchy Frog, I did so because it was his thread and his instructions for what should be posted. I have ignored your request for 20 pushups based on the following: “2) Don’t write a freakin’ book about yourself, either. We just met you, it’s a little early in our relationship for you to
be sharing your life story, ok sparky?”.
Again I realize I’m following Crunchy Frogs direction but I don’t see that as a bad thing. You make his fascination with shiny things seem bad too. Anyway enough of this rambling.
BeerFan
Hello, been on a board a few months now, however, have read The Straight Dope for years.
Was raised on an island–miss it lots, especially since is has been nearly polar out here.
Love to travel–have been to Asia, Europe, the Pacific, Australia, the Middle East, Mexico and a good bit of the United States. Thinking about seeing South America later this year 
BeerFan:
Ignor hardygrrl. I mean, who’s thread is this anyway? Of course my rules for the thread should be followed or else there will be anarchy! Up will be down! Black will be white! Status quo will be… er… different…
Baseballs are not shiny.
I think.
Care to be a bit more specific? Hell, New York’s Long Island is an island. Australia is an island. And where is ‘here’ that you refer to and what kind of polar? North Polar, South Polar, bi-polar?
Yeah I love seeing exotic far-away lands too. That’s why I bought a globe and an atlas. Nest month I’m gonna get cable so I can watch the Travel Channel all day long. See, I’ve learned by watching these shows, I can talk to people and sound like I’ve been traversing the globe when in reality, I sit at home all day in my skivvies playing video games and reading comic books on the toilet.
And to clarify the condiment thing hardygrrl brought up earlier, it seems it got erased in the Great Post Purge, but I had threatened to flame any more newbies who mentioned condiments. It seemed that everyone latched onto the first guy’s idea and ran with it. The newbies were acting like sheep. I don’t like sheep-people.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog *
BeerFan:
Ignor hardygrrl.
[QUOTE]
And any typos 
BTW, Crunchy, IIRC…your baseballs have a plastic covering protecting the signature. If the lights hit them right, shine.
And any coding errors.
Oh, sweet irony!
BTW, just so you newbies know, since most other people already know this. I am infallible. Any “typos” you see are caused by either your own faulty vision or packet loss over the internet.
They’re not all shrinkwrapped, and be honest - you’re just grasping with that one.
And for anyone who has no idea why I have shrinkwrapped balls (Hey, grow up! You know what I’m referring to!), I collect autographed baseballs and some of them have been shrinkwrapped to protect the signature.
I saw this thread was at 9 pages and counting, so I had to post before it got closed. Like I said in some other thread, I am a TRUE newbie… only been here for about two or three days. I have a few of the Straight Dope Books, and I have to say that this board is as addicting as ll get out!
What I do for fun: reading, going to bookstores and the library, hanging out with friends, eating out with them, keeping in touch with people, listening to music, going to my friends’ houses, looking after little kids, sometimes going places, parties, etc.
What I do for work: looking for work… wp/data entry/clerking… or something along those lines, hopefully… I’ll see…
Foods I like: some Chinese food (hot and sour soup, noodles, wonton soup, etc.), pizza, pasta, chicken, sushi, Pho noodles, etc.
Music I like: classic rock, some current rock, some pop (no BSB-type stuff for me)… that’s about it, though I can stand most other types… even my bro’s weird mix tapes of Monster Magnet and Mercury Rev
Aerosmith, Everclear, Matthew Good Band, Our Lady Peace, Led Zep, New Order, the Doors, Big Sugar, Creed, Collective Soul, the Police, etc.
Stuff I like to read: humorous stuff, some (auto-)bios, Guinness World Records stuff (that TV show is cool), the Outlander series, Bathroom Readers, true crime, trivia, some fiction, comics, stuff about music… guess it depends on what I feel like reading!
What I look like: 4 ft. 11, dark brown/black hair, brown eyes
Flamsterette_X story: it’s a word I made up a few yrs. ago, which is an acronym in a way… at least the FLAM part is
some of the important things in life:
Friends, Laughter, And, Music
and it naturally had a few prefixes and suffixes, thus:
Flami
Flamster
Flamsterette
Flamsterette_X
now you know how weird I am, haha
Cool Sites That I Happen To Like:
http://www.madsci.org/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/~lynn/jardin/SCG (surreal compliments)
http://mypage.direct.ca/c/csamson/multiples.html (facts about multiples)
http://www.twinstuff.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi (Twinstuff bulletin boards)
http://www.techtales.com
http://www.newsoftheweird.com
http://www.thisistrue.com
http://www.heroicstories.com
I think I’ll post addtional info about me in the Welcome Wagon thingy, too… plus all this stuff!
That should give you enough to make fun of for now, Crunchy Frog!
I’m a 25-year-old female, with NO nekkid pics! You don’t want to see me naked! Trust me…
Flamsterette… in your zeal to post to the thread before it gets locked up, did you not read the OP? There’s a little rule there about “no life stories”. If I had to read this much crap on every newbie that cam sauntering in here, I’d… um… I don’t know, but damn lady! This is a post on a message board, not your homepage!
BTW, the other thing is the OP contains a link to the other Welcome Wagon I had started. That one got too long and got closed, so then this one was started. When this one gets closed, enter WWIII.
So anyway, on to review your novelette:
CF wades through unimportant stuff he doesn’t care about until he gets to…
You know there’s entire threads dedicated to where people got their names from. This isn’t one of them.
BTW, a prefix goes in front of a word. Pre=before and fix=um… stuff added to a word, or something. Anyway, there’s no prefixes to FLAM in your name, just a series of suffixes.
Don’t care. You know, there’s plenty of places out there where you can set up a free homepage and then just linked us to that, hmmm?
Rest assured, though, before summarily erasing the links in my reply, I made sure to individually ignore them.
You’re IN the Welcome Wagon thingy! What additional info could there possibly be? Where do you think you’re posting this to? Plus all what stuff? Do you have more notes aobut your life that you’ll be posting here at a later date? Try to be a little clearer with your pronouns. Do you want me to set you up with an account at TalkCity or Geocites or anything? They’re free and you can talk about yourself to your hearts content!
You’re not under the impression that I read these things, are you? Look how many newbies posted here and on top of that, there’s the whole first thread! I’m just glancing through it looking for something to latch onto and mock, babe. I’m good at faking 3 things: sincerity, humility, and personal attention. In here, I’m faking the personal attention. Sorry if I confused you.
(See, and with the apology, I was faking sincerity. It comes across much better IRL though!)
And as for me not wanting to see you naked… well you’re not the first to come up with that line of defense. I won’t spoon feed this one to you. You made me read all that about you, so if you want my response to that tidbit, go read the 9 pages of this thread to find it. 
Your only saving grace is you didn’t mention mustard or condiments of any kind. Don’t let that small victory go to your head though.
Mustard!
Ketchup!
Horseradish!
Barbecue Sauce!
Salt!
Pepper!
Apple Cider Vinegar!
I smite you mightily with my condiment rack, Crunchy!
Yes, I did read the original post, but this is not my life story… if you want my life story, I can think of a few people who will get it! (but you’re not one of them… and no, I am NOT sorry to say that!)
No, I don’t have a homepage; besides, I’d get even weirder on there, trust me! (stuff about a whole lot of things I’m sure you dont’ care about!)
Point taken about the original welcome thingy. However, I do have more notes about my life… not that you’ll be reding about them here, at any rate!
Well, excuse ME! You think I have unlimited amounts of time in my day to review the whole board? Even if I did (which I most assuredly do NOT), I might miss little threads here and there!
Those are NOT my homepages! Yes, I could set one up, but that would take up lots of time I don’t have right now! So too bad! (like it or lump it, as they say)
Definitely was NOT confused on that poiint too much from the get-go, Crunchy! I may not know my way around the message board yet, or gotten the hang of such things as coding and abbreviations and suich, but there is one thing I can say with relative certainty: you seem to be good at faking many things, personal attention being only one of them, I’m sure! I’m also sure it comes across better IRL… these are just typed words, so there’s only so much you can tell about a person’s sincerity on here!
WTF do you think I spent the better part of my late afternoon/ early evening doing? Knitting a scarf for the soldiers in Afghanistan? I think NOT! Of course, it was my choice to read the entire thread, but I do believe I read the post you’re talking about… never mind whether I remember it or not!
Oh, don’t you worry… I don’t let victories go to my head THAT easily! But since you mentioned it… Airman Doors ha the right idea! And on a slightly related note, there is wasabi ice cream… haven’t tried it myself though.
Well, that’s my response! I wonder if this should be moved to the Pit, since I’m obviously doing a crapload of complaining!