Does nothing for me but score me a naked pic of Jeremy Roenick and we’ll talk. Don’t forget, naked pics go to Crunchy.
Aww. I can just see you with your hair in pigtails reading the TMI thread. “Mommy, this man put toothpaste on his hoohoo dilly!”
Cyber-yammer? Is that the new Karen Finley site? [sub]Watch no get that, sigh.[/sub] Ok, is that like bukkake, but with yams? Eww, you have grossed me out. Must go clorox brain…
And there you are. Damn the clorox fumes are strong…must lie down, why are there little blue men chasing me…
Been skulking around the SDMB over the summer but thought I’d pop over and say a proper ‘hello’…
I’m a 23 y/old graduate student here in Cambridge, UK - currently trying to find something earth-shatteringly innovative to write about romantic German poetry in the later 1700s. Laugh-a-minute stuff, eh?
Apart from that I know far more than is good for me about early 90s warehouse techno and the collected works of Jackie Chan.
I play ‘proper’ football (ie. the version you play with your feet :)) and can’t sing.
I’m warming up my Pit skills for my inaugural rant, but for the most part, as a great man once might have said…
Ich bin ein Lurker
… although I am slowly integrating myself into the wonderful world of the Straight Dope
– Quirm
(who’s currently trying to work out how to apply Goethe’s Roemische Elegien or DJ Nut-E-1’s classic “Give Us Another E!” to a GQ concerning the measurement of gyroscopic force…)
Shit, I don’t know if I posted here before, but if I did, I know I didn’t properly introduce myself, so here goes.
My name is Jeff, I am currently 25 years of age, I am a Pisces (my birthday is 20th February). I am an airfreight export person, and I work at MAN airport, England. I am engaged to Gemma (have been for 3 years). I love Indiana Jones, Star Wars, any Quentin Tarantino and Martin Scorcese films. I like ANY (well nearly any) music. Pearl Jam fans, hey! your my pals. and Hendrix, Pixies, Manics, Blondie, Strokes, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Stone Roses and all sorts of shit. My favourite football (soccer) team is Manchester United. This is A) Because I’m from Manchester (unlike a lot of united fans) and B)“We are the champions”!!!.
So there you go. That is my longest ever post. My fingers are sore. I’m going for a sit down. Nurse!
So you’re the guy in the stained trench coat offering candy to all the female Dopers…
::wipes tears from eyes:: Stop, you’re killing me.
go Rave boy, go Rave boy go!
Damn it…HOCKEY! The sport of kings! And about the singing, which member of Take That were you?
Ok, do a search on jarbaby to learn how to be a Pitizen. We have a Lurker already, you can be ein newbie weenie.
Kind of like the Wonderful World of Disney, except watch out for SPOOFE’S Magical Uretha Ride
Wow, I’m trying to compare Dante’s Inferno to Chyna’s If They Only Knew. Well, I can completely relate to being drowned in fecal matter, but tying in the breast implants is proving tricky.
According to today’s horoscope, you will have non specific things happen. And your liver will spring from your body.
So do you know where that Jeff Hardy RealDoll I ordered is? Bastards swore they shipped it.
Aww, you’re taking to complete ruination of your life slowly. Good work.
Wow, such an obscure list. You’ll never find anyone here to discuss those :rolleyes: Go rent Office Space and Clerks and report back.
blah, blah, blah, blah, bkah, blah, blah…NIRVANA!. Ok, I must have you. Tie me up and violate me repeatedly to an endless loop of * Been a Son, Dive, Swap Meet, Lounge Act, and Serve the Servants*…
::slaps self repeatedly and goes back into Greeter Mode::
Wow, are you Sparky, the long lost Gallagher brother? The sober, non brawling, not in Oasis one? Soccer…hockey without sticks…I’ll let it slide, this time
DAMN IT! We need MORE hockey fans!
Sure, blame the post for your finger issues. Two words, Astro Glide. And get that finger out of your ear! You don’t know where it’s been!
OCD = Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
[sub]I have to be kinda nice to this one, even though he’s a football fan. He recognizes the genius that is Kurt. ::sings:: It is now my duty to comepletely drain you…[/sub]
hardygrrl - Christ, woman! You don’t have to resond to each individual line of text. Pick and choose, lady, pick and choose! I was getting a headache trying to read one quoted line, then one of your lines, then one quoted line again, etc. And try to respond with more than one line. It breaks up the visual monotony and makes things a bit easier to read. Take some time to think about what you’re going to say and plan it out. You don’t have to respond as soon as the newbie posts. And keep in mind, these are newbies. They most likely won’t get jokes about my fascination for baseball or your love of hockey, WWF, and Curt Kobain.
And where the hell is Jester? I thought he wanted in on this. Fuckin’ teenagers nowadays, I swear…
Anyway, I have some built up bile left over from a crappy weekend and you all get to feel my wrath, so these newbies get to be welcomed a second time:
From Pygmy Twylyte:
And for my 4,8xx whatever I’m at now post, I will insult you. And oh goody! Look! Easy pickings, he’s a lawyer! How did you miss the lawyer jokes, hardy? I’ll get things rolling: What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? Go on now, that’s an easy one. You can pick it up from there…
And Pygmy, how’s the quitting smoking thing going? I’ve tried a number of times to quit to no avail. You know what I found to take the edge off though when I do try to quit? Heroine. Really mellows me out and calms the cravings for nicotine. If that’s not available and I don’t have the cash for heroine, then I’ve found that nothing takes the edge off quitting better then a cigarette. Wow, I mean that kills the nicotine craving dead right there.
And look! He’s a bass player too! Have you heard all the bass player jokes along with the lawyer jokes?
How do you tell if the stage is even?
The bass player is drooling from both sides of his mouth.
How does the bass player get to a party after a gig?
He follows the drummer.
I’m gonna have fun with you Pygmy. More jokes will hit me later and I’ll be back. terra_libran says:
20 year old females… My favorite kind! Too bad you’re in Philly though. Not for you, but for me. I don’t know any Philly jokes. Let me think nof something really quickly…
Nope, nothing interesting about Philly to have fun with. Sheesh, why couldn’t you be Amish or something? I could have fun teasing the Amish around here, but for some reason, none of them ever post to the boards…
What’s a lie, that you’re here? If you’re posting in the future of course that wouldn’t be a lie, cuz you’d be here. It’s so simple if you think about it. Of course you may be thinking about it, but pretty simple yourself. Not a college girl I take it? Quirm says:
Look, buddy, if you’re going to come in here with that kind of attitude, you can turn your happy ass around right now and get the hell out of Dodge. We don’t need your kind here stirring up trouble.
**Ooooh, ooooh! Writing about romantic German poetry of the later 1700s are we? How very posh. You’ve certainly gotten high and mighty since you went poncing off to Cambridge! What’s the matter, bathroom wall limericks aren’t good enough for you anymore? (I’m sorry, should I have said water closet instead of bathroom? Have I confused you?) Afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of your dear fellow graduate window dressers? Bah! There’s naught wrong with bathroom limericks, lad, and don’t you forget it! mancunian says:
Well I don’t know if I’ve welcomed you or not, so I’m going to err on the side of laziness and not do it in case I already have once already. hardygrrl says:
No, you should all be kissing my ass. And we’re not greetershardy, this isn’t a fuckin’ Wal-Mart.
Hey all. I probably should have hopped on this welcome wagon a helluva lot sooner, but oh well. I’m a 16 yr. old high school student from southern Indiana. I lurk alot and rarely post, mostly because I’m to lazy to express my own opinion alot of times. I found the boards about a year ago and visit at least twice a week. I’ve learned alot about the real world on the boards. Things that I definetly wouldn’t learn in school, especially stuff about sex. And I have to say, some of the learning has come in handy.
So, that’s me. And I have to say, I enjoy the boards alot and I don’t ever wanna leave.
Howdy. I’m a college student at the University of Houston majoring in English with a concentration in creative writing. I was also in the marching band this semester (just providing material :)). I discovered Cecil’s column a few months ago and just joined the message board recently, when college let out and I had nothing better to do. This is actually the one message board I’ve seen filled almost exclusively with intelligent, polite people.
And as a 16-year old I thought I’d let Jester (another teen) take a hack at you, but I guess he’s run off to lay with the other kiddies. I’ve been to Indiana once. I drove through on my way to Pennsylvania. I think we had been in the state for about 10 minutes when we found we had already done everything there was to do in Indiana.
Think about that. You’re claiming you’re learning about the real world off an internet message board. You sad, sad child. And from now on, you’re banned from sex threads until you turn 18! If I find you in a sex thread before you turn 18, why I’ll, I’ll… Well I dunno what I’ll do, but you just wait till your father gets home!
Um, yeah. Word up homeslice.
**Loopus ** rears its ugly head:
Oh crap, a Texan. Complete with “Howdy.” You know I was in San Antonio for four yreas and never heard anyone actually say “howdy.” Anyway, since you’re from Texas, I’ll try to keep the words small.
I don’t need your charity, you tit. And I’ll shove that smiley face right up your ass buddy!
[Note to Soup Nazi - shoving smilies up people’s asses is not a sex act to be tried at home. Now go do your homework. Stay in school and don’t do drugs.]
I want to be the first to drag you into the Pit sooo badly now. Polite people, huh? Oh, you youngins. So cute at that age and so naive.
Now fuck off on the horse you rode in on, or whatever local Texan saying is applicable.
Oh, I’m sorry, by ‘applicable’ I meant whatever Texan saying makes sense in this context.
Damn, sorry again. By ‘context’ I meant whatever Texan saying makes sense when put with the other words in the sentence.
Shit, my bad again. A ‘sentence’ is words strung together in a way that has meaning. And ‘word’ is what we call things, instead of grunting and pointing, which was all too commonly done by the locals when I was in Texas.
A person’s name does not have a single set spelling, unlike most other words in the English language, so not knowing how to spell Cobain’s name is not the same as not knowing how to spell ‘school’ or ‘misspell.’ I can spell just fine, just not people’s name when I’m not that familiar with them.
What the hell does that mean? Not everyone likes the same things you like. I don’t want to get into an argument with you in this thread. I said earlier the other welcomers won’t get special treatment, but I’ll stop if you stop because I don’t want this thread turning into the welcomers sniping at one another.
And if you were going to post, you could have at least done the two newbies, one of whom has been waiting for three days.
I’m 22, and I’m pretty sure I’m a girl, but noone’s checked for a while
I live in Perth, in Western Australia. It’s the nicest place in the world to live. It’s summer here, and the beaches are bee-yoo-ti-ful! Normally I live all alone in a funky little apartment, but today I’ve come to my parents’ house to visit my dogs and wash my clothes and eat food and use the high-speed connection.
I study medicine, but I don’t wanna be a doctor. I work at a science discovery centre, where I get to pass lotsa electricity through small children. I bought 25 litres of liquid nitrogen yesterday.
my name is Hestia (well no, not really), I’m eighteen, and I live in the Netherlands (please, no wooden shoes jokes, mkay?). I’m a first year Journalism student, though I’m not sure whether I’m going to continue that study. I’ve been lurking on these boards for a couple of months, and just recently I’ve decided to start posting. A friend of mine pointed me toward Esprix’s “Ask The Gay Guy” threads and I’ve been hooked on the boards ever since :).
Per Crunchy Frogs direction I am posting here to supply some information about myself.
I live in Florida, I am employed as a software engineer (notice I did not say work), I am married and have two wonderful children with my equally wonderful wife. As my username suggests I like beer. I also like fishing, golfing, camping and generally any outdoor activity.
I have been lurking around here for an embarrassingly long time, not weeks or even months it’s more like years. I finally decided that I would register so that I can throw my .02 or .03 adjusted for inflation in periodically.
I also noticed no one has posted to this thread in a long time so I won’t hold my breath waiting for any feedback.
Paging Dr Frog…Would Dr Frog come to Exam Room 2…*
A mooching off the parents beach bum. A shining example to us all. BTW, a “funky” apartment? Is Don Cornelius your doorman? Do you have really cool shag carpeting and velvet paintings? Beads hanging in the doorways? Can I borrow your copy of “Shaft?”
Oh, I do the electrical thing too! But on consenting adults with a major credit card. Oooh, liquid nitrogen! I’m so excited for you! Really I am. Yawns Tell me more!Eyes close
