Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
261

Ahhh… well then, my job is done now… =)

If i didn’t leave typos in then there would be that much less material for the rest of the world to kick me about and we can’t have THAT now can we?

well… let’s just say that I know for sure, but a little bit of uncertainty helps to keep my enemies guessing (“waitaminute! i have ENEMIES??? eep!” runs and hides under the sofa)

we aim to please. (please note that this appears to be in direct contradiction to the assertion above that uncertainty is preferred to accuracy, however it actually helps since there now exists a high degree of doubt as to whether ANY of this material is to be trusted… doubt is good…)

it’s only polite to share.
wolf189

262

Nekkid Pix? I missed this rule! I’m sorry, I’ll get right to work trying to find one. Does it have to be a picture of me?

263

Yes, it does have to be of you. How did you miss this rule? It’s posted throughout the thread?

I also realize there’s some newbies waiting to be welcomed. I’ll get to that as soon as I have some more time.

264

Thanks for the tip. Now I know who to blame.

I believe that was also the original philosophy of Rene Descartés.

Ah, Virginia. The lovely landscape, the trees, the river, the twang of Dueling Banjos. . . So as a woman in Virginia, I gather you’re safe from the unwanted advances of men as long as you stay near the livestock.
And just so you know, no time on this board is wasted so long as you interact with me. :wink:
BMN

265

Well That’s good enough, then.

Yeah, but now you have ME all riled up!!!1!!

I write really quirky subtley pissed-off girly stuff,…think Lisa Loeb and Natalie Merchant’s not-so-serious 2nd cousin, I guess. Also some kvitch-y blues stuff.

Yep it is! And thank you Mr. Frog (or can I call you Crunchy?) for the warm welcome.
:wink:

266

Warm welcome?! Did I forget to tell you to bite me or something?

I think I’m losing my touch.

267

I missed it, too.
Is there any kind of grace period?
.gif or .jpg?
WHERE’S the airbrush button on my PaintShopPro???
Arrrggghh, the pressure!
~Spesh

268

Crunchy, my dear, you absolutely, positively made my day with this line… Is it any wonder I secretly lust after you??

:wink:

269

I’m 18, I’m going to start college in 14 days, and I don’t think I will make many friends. Not that this is of any importance, I just really want to see how you all are going to quote parts of what I have to say to make fun of me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If i wasn’t so unmotivated, I would do the same to you all. Oh, and I celebrated New Year’s by dying my hair blue which may or may not have been a mistake. I haven’t decided yet.

270

FairyChatMom - “Crunchy, my dear, you absolutely, positively made my day with this line… Is it any wonder I secretly lust after you??”

The only thing I wonder about is why you’re so secretive about it.

Yeah, I’d like to see that too.

Oh, shit, that’s MY job! Let me get started:
First of all, I’m hardly the most slender of men, but I hardly think I’m large enough to be consider “you all.” Maybe you would make some friends if you stopped randomly insulting people’s weight.

You still seem a bit confused sweetie - there is only one of me. Unless of course you’re referring to my heat-seeking moisture missle, my twig and berries, my wonder-weasel, the old one-eyed trouser snake. In that case, feel free to address us individualy. He makes me refer to him in the 3rd person all the time. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where I have to call him Mr. Dick in front of company.

You obviously have a problem thinking for yourself. From now on I will do your decision making for you. We’ll start with the hair.

Mistake.

Now go dye it back. When you’re done with your hair, bite me like all the others.

271

Well, you never know what else we might have in common that I neglected to mention. I really love your dry wit!

272

You mean you like masturbating to lesbian porn too?!

273

looks startled how…how did you know, Crunchy Frog?

leaves topic, blushing

274

Well, crud. I guess if I’m going to be coming to the St. Louis Dopefest, I might as well take the plunge and drop an introduction, so’s I’m not a total stranger if/when we meet IRL Crunchy. Here goes…

I’m 22 and I live in Columbia, Missouri, USA.

I’ve been registered since August, but I’ve been doing a lot more lurking than posting. I’m going to see if I can’t change that, now that I’ve had 4 or 5 months to get my feet wet.

I hail from Arizona originally; I came out here to go to Mizzou, and then ended up getting a job. (I’m a photographer – or if you prefer, the artsy-fartsy term is photojournalist, for the local newspaper.) This damned winter has reminded my precisely why I’d love to move back.

My most notable accomplishment of late was finishing the “World Beer Tour” at the local Old Chicago; 110 different beers down the hatch (not in one night, of course), and now my name adorns the plaque they’ve got over the bar.

I live with 3 roommates, 2 of whom are female - which surprisingly doesn’t seem to bother my girlfriend, in a duplex on a cul-de-sac that the city has yet to plow once this winter. Our neighbors caused me to open my sole pit thread to date…the newspapers still pile up, but not at the rate they used to.

What else…I drive a '73 Dodge Dart Swinger which sometimes starts, if it’s in a good mood. To date, 2 other cars have been totaled when their drivers ran into me, but the Dart marches proudly on. (Albeit with a lot of lingering battle scars from its last encounter, back in October.)

I was once chased by a mob of angry Turks across the border into Syria. It’s a long story; maybe I’ll tell it sometime.

I guess that’s a start. Take your best shot. :wink:

275

Yeah, good call. So you post here, I tease you, we all go to the DopeFest, someone gets drunk and starts yelling at me, “Ya know what Frog-Boy? You’re a smart-ass! Who the hell are YOU to tell me to bite you? Why don’t you open wide and take a nice big bite of my --”
That sounds like a fun night.

4-5 months to get your feet wet? Son, in that amount of time you could’ve

Not to mention the fact you’re in COLUMBIA! When you’re in the journalism bix, you need to go to the big cities, where the action is - like Farmington or Branson!
You know when I was stationed in Texas for 4 years, I used to miss this snow shit. Just goes to show how stupid I was in my youth.

I live with 3 roommates, 2 of whom are female - which surprisingly doesn’t seem to bother my girlfriend, in a duplex on a cul-de-sac that the city has yet to plow once this winter.

**
Too bad I don’t have my old '66 Chevy II. I bet that monster could put an end to your Dodge’s run. As long as you did’t hit the passenger side front fender, which was sculpted almost completely out of Bondo.

Bite me, psuedo-newbie.

276

Now that I’ve had my first GQ thread go past 25 replies (the People Kibble thread, at http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53966), and gotten in a fight in the Pit, I figured I’d get in line for my required abuse.

I’m in Tucson, Arizona, and I have hobbies. I also spend too much time making a living, and not nearly enough goofing off. I hope the SDMB can cure me of that, though.

Anyone want to adopt me?

Andy

Looking forward to a big bite of Crunchy Frog

277

You obviously have a problem thinking for yourself. From now on I will do your decision making for you. We’ll start with the hair.

Mistake.

Now go dye it back. When you’re done with your hair, bite me like all the others. **
[/QUOTE]

Actually, I like it, Mr. Dick.

278

[Graham Chapman]
Oh, no, no. This is Sarcastic Welcoming. Abuse is down the hall, room 2A.

Stupid git.
[/Graham Chapman]

**
Ok, people, I know I asked for a few sentences, but you have to realize the more you give me to work with, the better I can welcome you. Oh. mrvisible has hobbies, does he? Well thank you for allowing us tha ever-so-brief glimps into your world, in which are are obviously not worthy to tread. :rolleyes:

So, since mrvisible has seen fit to give me free rein here, let me elaborate on what a couple of those hobbies are:
When he goes shopping, he accepts only plastic bags, which he is saving up in order to make his own inflatable “partner”.
He enjoys going to the zoo to taunt the monkeys about knowing how to use his opposable thumbs. He also thinks dodging as they throw their feces at him is a fun game.

You’re in the wrong thread for that, newbie. :stuck_out_tongue:

279

I’ve been lurking around for over a year from work and when they finally blocked the site altogether, I bought a computer for home at last. I was so mad at them for adding this expense to my budget that I handed in my resignation. (Okay, there were many other reasons.) I’m now working part-time at a coffee shop in Chicago while taking writing and photography classes. I’m hoping it will take 6 months or less to start a new career that’s much less stress and aggravation than there was at the bank where I used to work. You’ll probably be seeing a lot more posts from me now that I only work 20 hours a week!

I hope from my user name you can tell I’m female. I’m 30 and not sure I like it yet. I live in the LakeView neighborhood in Chicago and love it here. I also love the snow and don’t have a car.

I know this is long. Crunchy, be careful who you invite to bite. I’ve been known to draw blood! And I like to be bitten back…

280

I’m thinking of turning in my resignation too. Was one of the other reasons the same as mine? My boss overheard me call him too stupid to pick his own nose without written instructions, and now he says it’s a problem that I relax at work by dressing up as Liza Minelli and singing Cabaret while lifting my skirt to show my co-workers that I’m not wearing any underwear and rubbing myself down with hot oil and melted chocolate. Coincidence? I think not.

Well, I look forward to seeing more of you (especially the obligatory nude pix :))

Actually, I thought you just had a thing for chocolate-cover wafers.

I’m a little brain fried right now, so insert your own awkwardly flirtatious sexual innuendo here. Then email me, tell me what it was and whether or not it turned you on. :smiley:

Um, damn, I wish I wasn’t so tired. Insert another sexual innuendo, something to do with teeth and biting and, oh to hell with it – Bite me, newbie.