Thank you Crunchy, I would be delighted to bite your ass but only after you assure you me that you have washed it in the recent past. I probably should have told you in the previous post I was born and raised in California, but had my medication adjusted, saw the error of my ways and moved to St Louis last May. Apparetly I can control the weather, as it’s been the coldest winter here for a long time. Sorry, that must have been me, as everything IS my fault 
I refuse to be a Rams fan, I didn’t like em in LA, I’m not gonna like em now. A girl needs some standards. The Blues are okay, though. I used to tend bar for the Government in CA, but don’t want to babysit a bunch of drunks everynight, so I am preparing to start a new job. Smile at the checker at the grocery store and maybe she’ll offer to bite your ass 
Oh, and by the way? Would you by chance like a dog, CF? ?
Thank you Crunchy, I would be delighted to bite your ass but only after you assure you me that you have washed it in the recent past. I probably should have told you in the previous post I was born and raised in California, but had my medication adjusted, saw the error of my ways and moved to St Louis last May. Apparetly I can control the weather, as it’s been the coldest winter here for a long time. Sorry, that must have been me, as everything IS my fault I refuse to be a Rams fan, I didn’t like em in LA, I’m not gonna like em now. A girl needs some standards. The Blues are okay, though. I used to tend bar for the Government in CA, but don’t want to babysit a bunch of drunks everynight, so I am preparing to start a new job. Smile at the checker at the grocery store and maybe she’ll offer to bite your ass
Oh, by the way, would you by chance like a dog, CF? ?
Yes, I know I have trouble spelling. You’d think someone who only types with two fingers would have time to look up at the monitor every so often or at least proof-read. (sigh)
Let me have it big guy…I obviously need a spanking.
Hi Crunchy!
32, married, son born August 1, 2000.
I work as a programmer/analyst at a major university in the mountains of Virginia. You know, the one with a gobbler as a mascot and an excellent quarterback moving on to greener pastures? I read SDMB while crunching numbers. I started with alt.fan.cecil-adams, moved on to the straightdope.com site, and then lurked on SDMB. And now, I’m posting. When will it ever end?
Like workin’ on cars, especially my 68 Deville convertible, which I intend to turn into a hopper someday.
Used to play much music, bass and guitar, both rock and jazz. My biggest gig was for the recently departed Bill and Al show. Actually got my picture made with Bill. No music since son. Music was great, but prefer son (and wife).
I can’t figure out if I’m a liberal redneck or a conservative Unitarian. Is there a Kinsey scale for this kind of thing?
/dev/null
Hi I am David from the UK. 30 yrs of age. I like this Straight Dope thing a lot.
I just got a Playstation 2. I want to be everywhere, with everyone, doing everything forever.
Lot of catching up to do, so bear with me if some of these suck:
Wytehawk
**
And in Australia, firefighting isn’t considered a public service? You’re a freelance firefighter, is that it, firefighting for the elite private sector only? Contracting your firefighting skills to the highest bidder? Damn mercenaries!
Hey, that’s the attitude that made America great, don’t see why it shouldn’t work in Australia too. As long as you aren’t telling your new co-workers, “Yeah, I’ll be on the fire truck in just a sec, I gotta finish this post!”
Bah! You haven’t lived till you know the joy of writing a check for a pizza delivery when you KNOW there’s not enough money in the account for it, but just hoping the check doesn’t get to your bank till pay day! That’s excitement, lad! That’s a living-on-the-edge adreneline rush, mate, and don’t you forget it!
Clucky [sub]Clucky?[/sub]
You’ll get my virtual size 12 Nike up your ass if you keep up with the lame Frog puns. 
Tsk, tsk, so young to have left the life of the living.
So you and the wife decided you were getting to many sleep filled nights and private time, so why not add a kid to the mix?
What part? I live in Hazelwood. You just missed a DopeFest you know.
Yes, I agree. You in a room with 999 other chimps could probably pound out all the works of Shakespeare a few years ahead of schedule.
OK PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!
That is the proper way to name your cat. Short and to the point. None of this Princess Penelope Pumpernickel or Little Miss Muffin-Dumplin or Queen Mum Victoria Maria Conchita Alonzo shit!
Ok, you got me there. I couldn’t stand the Rams whie we had What’s his nuts for a QB. But when we signed Trent Green and Marshall Faulk, my interest shot through the roof before the season started when we won the Superbowl. I’ve been a Cardinals baseabll fan since I was a fetus though.
Yes, I know. I was playing Spyro 2 on my Playstation over the summer and during one of the mini-games, I retrieved some livestock for one of the characters who then tossed me an egg (what I was searching for in the game) and said, “Here’s a little something, you know, for the effort.” And I laughed my balls off. My GF had no idea what I thought was so funny.
Tequila Mockingbird are you back?
Who said anything about my ass?
Why, do you think I care?
And people think I’M egocentric. At least I’m under no delusions that I control the weather. You’re some kind of god are you? Well good! We could use another celebrity on the board since aha’s eating up all the rock star adulation he can get.
Actually I would love to have a dog, unfortunately I live alone and the poor animal wouldn’t have anyone around most of the day and he’d also be cooped up inside my apartment. So I’m not getting a dog until I have a house with a backyard he can run around in. Sorry.
Hehehe… Do you not realize you’re talking to one of the board’s leading sluts? Be careful what you ask for around me…
Dev Null
I have as much clue about what you’re talking about as many Virginia mountain men would have when I talk about indoor plumbing: I’ve heard of college football, I understand it’s rather popular in many places, but I just don’t have anything to do with it.
Hopper? Is that some kind of Frog joke? Well screw you pal, I don’t have to put up with – oh, wait, nevermind, I understand now. That’s cool.
I don’t know about Kinsey, but I’ve got a scale for you: It’s called the Bite Me Scale, now get on it!
Dave Plankton
Short, sweet, with just a hint of drug use. Nice job but nothing special, I give it a 4.5.
Good luck on that everywhere, everyone, everything forever stuff. Let me know how it works out, m’kay?
We may not have plumbing[1], but we have two things going for us: Corn juice and…umm…let’s just say Humboldt has nothing to be pround of.
STOMP<m’kay>
Well?
Yer a good amphibian to keep this thread up, Crunchy Frog.
/dev/null
[1] Well, we have plumbing, but not everyone on our road does. Kid you not.
Wow…you’re one of the leading sluts on the page and I found you? Color me surprised. Do we tend to flock or what? Seriously I wanted to profusely thank you for not calling me a dumb-ass for posting twice. Most heartfelt gratitude for ya! I’ll send ya a nekkid pic (and an older one at that…when I was “cute”) if’n you’ll keep me abreast of any St Louis area doper gatherings. (Bite Nibble gnaw)…any time ya wanna bare the ass for this let me know…
I am 25
independant professional wrestler (yes, really)
published poet (single works only as of yet)
have a son (3 months old)
and don’t sleep much.
skare
'Lemme see…no, we can’t talk about the first time i de-virginized my self (at this point in time) No on the Bob Marley thing…Now the bondage-that’s a different story…
No…only when I look in the mirror. Actually, it was one of those nicknames you hate, but after a while you just go with the flow. It had to do with me wearing a purple shirt, and drinking a damn shake…you do the math 
Well, what do you expect…I’m a transplant to Missouri, who just decided to stay here than go back to LA and deal with the quakes, smog, and all the other fun things that you get with the pakage California deal. And yeah, I know I missed the dopefest, but better luck next time heh.
DUKE!!! you’re alive!!!
well,I guess that’s better than what i’ve heard some people call us
Physically I am:
male.
nearly old. (42)
5’ 10"
a little overweight.
still married after 14.425 years
damm good looking (my opinion)
father of 2 wonderful girls 7yo an 9.5yo
not an athlete!
Mentally I think I am:
an avid reader of SF and Fantasy
smarter than most people
an oracle geek
overall a computer geek
Also I:
am a casual speller
like quality beer
play Everquest too much
fly model and high power rockets (with the girls)
live in western Washington
wonder if a Washington dopefest is a possibity
have babbled long enough…
I gave a breif description of myself on the thread AndYrAstar created for my arrival, so maybe I’ll just wing it here. AndY’s been linking me to various threads here (you’re such sick bastards!) and nagged me to register some time last month.
At the moment, I’m eating ice cream. My keyboard will be tasting some pretty soon if I don’t get it out of way.
Tequila Mockingbird:
It happens. I’ve got over 2700 posts I’m I’m still making vB code errors. There’s a good number of them in this thread alone. Just a little advice, when you hit “Submit Reply” chances are your post went through, regardless of what the computer says. Before hitting “Submit Reply” a second time, check the thread and odds are your post is there.
See mods? This thread can be good for something!
Skarecrow
Yeah right sure, and when I was in the Air Force, I worked for Military Intelligence and did missions with Joint Special Operations and Inspector General teams – oh wait a mintue, I DID used to do that! So how do you become an independant professional wrestler? Does that mean you’re not in the UWUA (United Wrestler’s Union of America)?
Here’s one I saw in Reader’s Digest, is it yours?
A Wrestler’s Promise
I’m taking you down, man!
You’re nothing to me!
I’m gonna kick your sorry can
All over the ring!
I’m gonna rip your lungs out
and taste your spleen!
And the end of our viscious bout
They’ll give that Champ’s belt to me!
The end.
VenusProbe and boy is his anus tired! ba-DUM dum
Um… Gleetings? Oh please God, let that be a typo, let that be a typo, let that be a typo!
And I’m almost afraid to ask but – What’s with the decimals?
From what I’ve seen so far, I’d have to agree with you on 10.11% of that statement.
And I:
Am a casual worker
like quality women
drink Everclear too much
play doctor and used to be called “Rocket”
live in a state of denial
wonder if a Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, and me threesome is a possibily
have spent too much time on you…
Ivy Kitti
I’ll get back to you after I find your description of yourself in AndYrAstar’s thread. You didn’t give me much to work with.
No crunchy it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a card. It means I wrestle independant circuits, not in one of the top three. We can drop that though, I take enough shit for it everywhere else, so we’ll just forget I mentioned it here.
Crunchy, dude you rock! And don’t bother answering this, just let me stalk…erm…I mean admire you from afar from now on…I promise only to lurk here. Ya feel 77 huh? I’d like to be the judge of that (oops closet pervert here…sorry back to lurking, I swear!)
Aw, I’m just joshing ya! Have you read page 1 of this thread? I state very clearly that this is all meant to be tongue-in-cheek playfulness. Don’t take it seriously, ok? Card-carrying or not, I’d still hate to have a professional wrestler mad at me.
I forgot to respond to you before. Why only lurk? Don’t lurk, post! Be one of the regs!
CrunchyFrog said:
**
Tiburon says:
quote:
I'm an attorney - concentrate on Nuclear Safety law, Employment law and Patent law.
Oh man, an attorney. Making fun of this guy is too easy. I almost feel as if it's beneath me. So I thought
your kind couldn't go out in the daytime, how do you stay in business? I'm guessing Tiburon may have
come from the car you drive? I imagine you may need something sporty to be able to keep up with the
ambulances. **
Wow, did you miss the boat. First…I’m female. Second - Tiburon a sporty car?? Puh-lease. The Tiburon (car) is made by Hyundi. (sp?) Nothing that company makes is sporty. I’m named Tiburon because I like sharks. (Tiburon means ‘shark’ in Spanish.) I drive an Acura.
I won’t be too hard on you thinking I was male, though - I didn’t put my pic up on the People Pages until fairly recently. Now, if you think I’m male STILL, yikes, that’d just downright depress me.
Tibs.
And here I thought you’d forgotten all about me!
I have seen your pic at the People Pages, I realize you’re female now. Grrrrrrowwwll*
Gimme a break, I was working with what I had. Tiburon is the closest to sporty that Hyundai gets. And I know what the word “tiburon” means. Do you speak Spanish? Does the phrase “Sientate en mi cara y meneate” do anything for ya? That’s my favorite Spanish phrase.
Well since you’re not male, then you couldn’t be hard on — oh, that’s not what you meant, is it?