smurf it!
My favorite? “Son of a submariner!”
Plus it has the advantage of other IT nerds thinking you’re a psychotic maniac with plans to destroy the surface of the planet.
Yes, she used to be Anthracite
From the Fantastic Mr. Fox…
“Cuss”
Also, “Well, this is a Cluster-Cuss.”
I’m fond of ‘son of a motherless goat!’
My brother used (and still uses) that one! He grew up in the late '50s/early '60s, central NJ.
When I had kids, I very consciously changed my vocabulary. Now that the youngest is eighteen, I am slowly modifying it back.
If you want go full-geek, and know any Orcish, it has the same satisfying mouth feel as Anglo-Saxon cusswords: “Ash nazg thrakataluk!”
That’s the one I came in to add. A friend of mine in college used to say this, and it made me laugh. It’s a nice one - long enough to be satisfying.
My brother, whose eight-year old daughter decided that they swear too much and started fining them a quarter every time they dropped one in front of her, now says, “Twenty-five cents.” You can get a surprising amount of mileage out of it, depending on emphasis.
I had my entire office using “stupid” (instead of shit) and “utterly” (instead of fuck) as cuss words.
South Park:
Barbara Streisand!!!
or my favorite from the movie “Hook”
Substitute Chemistry Teacher!
Fun fact:
“Curse” and “cuss” were originally the same word. A few hundred years ago only the word “curse” existed but it was pronounced “cuss.” Eventually the modern pronounciation took hold inthe eastern USA, but the old was still common elsewhere, and people started writing it that way, thus giving us two similar words for essentially the same thing.
Oh for the love of Christmas
D’oh!
Zut alors
bafungu
you deceased rhinoceros pizzle
kiss my grits
Just for the record, if you were my cubicle neighbor and I heard you exclaim “you noxious piece of shit!” to your misbehaving computer, I would consider it quite endearing.
Shut the front door!
That one actually surprised me in this… - YouTube
I’ve been known to borrow from Perry White and exclaim “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” vehemently.
Hill of Megiddo!
Son of a Happy Meal and what the fahoozy have been known to leave my mouth. Credit to the Wayans for ‘fahoozy’.
Not a minced oath, but from Japanese ‘kuso’ (shit) and ‘baka’ (stupid/fool) both feel good off the tongue. For extra fun you can repeat ‘baka’ a few times. Bakabakabakabakabakabakabaka!!!
One I use quite frequently is “Oh, smoke it!”
Bugger, buggery
Feck, Fecking
Shite
Shitey-buggery-feck
These tend to be lost on nearly all Americans, and are just as satisfying.