Inspired by the Stupid things you’ve heard people say thread, because it’s not fair to compare grown-up stupidity (Yes, Alaska is an American State and thus accepts U.S. Dollars in stores) to the innocence of childhood (see rest of thread).
While eating out with my family–
Niece (age 4): Mommy, when I get big like you, will I be able to order whatever I like?
Mommy (with trepidation): Yes, what would you order?
Niece: a hotdog and chocolate milk.
We were at a nice Italian restaurant. Hot Dogs were not on the menu–even the kid’s menu. Nieces were ordered slices of cheese pizza off the adult menu. The kid’s menu had kid-friendly options such as spaghetti and meatballs and individual sized pizzas. Adults were ordering various forms of pasta. Chocolate milk was on the menu, but they were out of it, so the nieces were given fruit punch instead.
Niece(still 4) and I were looking into the cabinet with games which is kept locked to ensure no lost pieces.
Niece(to daddy, while pointing at the Three for all box): Let’s play this game.
Daddy: No, honey, you wouldn’t understand that game.
Niece: Next year, when I’m 5, you can teach me that game.
Umm, no. Maybe when you are twelve–but it’s really not appropriate for a five year old either.
Both nieces spent some time playing horsie, with any adult they could persuade to crawl around the floor with a small child on his/her back. Uncle–technically Great Uncle–was a particular favorite. At one point, Niece (age 4), had gotten off Uncle’s back for some reason, and told him to “stay home”. Uncle had proceeded to back up about 3 feet, and scrunch down really tight. He was not that hard to see, but he was no longer where she’d left him. Niece looked around, didn’t see him, and ran off towards the kitchen calling for horsie. Didn’t find him. Ran back and bypassed the living room as she ran upstairs–still calling for horsie. Who knows how long she’d have kept searching, had not little sister(age 2), seated on my back, seen Uncle and yelled “He’s right here”.
On another day, big sister was on Uncle’s back, and little sister approached me asking me “Be a horse like Uncle”. I co-operated–to the extent of crawling around on my knees with a kid on my back, but I just don’t have my Uncle’s style.
One last story. One evening, we had ice cream cake for dessert. It had ice cream in the middle, and a mysterious chocolate topping. My nieces like ice cream, and chocolate. The younger one (age 2), moved to sit on Grandma’s lap, and wanted to be fed her ice cream cake. Grandma co-operated. This led to much amusement, as the grandchild cuddled in, closed her eyes, but continued to open her mouth to accept bites of chocolate and ice cream.
When all done, she picked up a napkin and “wiped” her face–with about as much success as it is appropriate to expect in a two-year-old. This tickled everyone’s funny bone. She opened her eyes, and said indignantly “Dat’s not funny, guys”. We laughed again.
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