Cybersex and privacy

Great Debates
1

A guy is supporting a girl through school, and gets her a computer for research.

He suspects that she isn’t using it for that purpose, but is instead spending her whole day chatting and having cysbersex with ICQ.

He basically wiretaps her ICQ, builds up a body of evidence against her and exacts his revenge.

He’s quite proud of it. You can read the story (it’s short,) in his own words here:
http://www.tdesignz.com/icu/index.html

Were his actions ethical and reasonable, or a little over the top?

Did she get what she deserved, or was it just innocent play latched onto by a paranoid control freak?

2

  1. If he gives her a computer, it’s her computer.

  2. Once it’s her computer, he has no business to it.

  3. I’m not going to say anything on the ethics of cybersex while in a relationship because I don’t believe in closed relationships.

3

Apparently, he didn’t give her the computer - rather, he let her use one of his, at his home, after she had moved in.

I don’t think he acted unethically, assuming it was his equipment and he told he clearly that her actions on it were not private.

He did, however, act like a nut. If you cannot trust the person you’re seeing, you ought not to be seeing her. I understand the need to get proof - but even if I accept it, he went well beyond that point. The moment he had his evidence, he should have broken up with her. This elaborate revenge is beyond the pale.

  • Rick
4

Bricker said:

"If you cannot trust the person you’re seeing, you ought not to be seeing her. "

I gotta agree with you there.

Another interesting thing: If you look at the comments page of that site, you’ll see that there is commentary by his current girlfriend. She apparently also has limited means, ans has moved in with her kids.

He seems more like a control freak looking for a contract than a normal guy looking for a relationship.

The terms being, you move in with me, I take care of you and your kids, I get total control of your life.

5

The guy does seem to be somewhat a control freak, but if my SO were addicted to the internet, I’d be worried and hurt as well. I can kind of understand his motivation. Also, his girlfriend was giving people their home phone number. I think that probably crosses the line.

6

What a limp dick this guy is. He should have asked her if she’d do the things to him she was doing in Cyberspace.
There’s something wrong with a guy who feels triumphant (check out the tone of the post) because he was able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that his girlfriend was cuckholding him on the computer.

7

Maybe she was doing cybersex research, which would be alright.

I do not like men who post things about a woman to the world like that at all. Im sure the girl isn’t thrilled either.

8

I’ll be happy if I never meet either of those bottom-dwellers. I’ll third Bricker’s “If you cannot trust the person you’re seeing, you ought not to be seeing her” comment. And living well is the best revenge.