Damn, I'm getting old (female-style)

Had to buy a box of tampons last night, and they were on sale – but I still only bought one box, because that may do me. Like, forever. I’m no longer just skipping one period occasionally, I’m skipping three or four regularly.


twicks, who still hasn’t had her first hot flash, though

My darling, lovely, and wonderful wife just started her first one in more than 2 months. She was really hoping it was gone for good this time. Other than that, she’s had no symptoms (other than some fairly interesting mood swings, which I, to my great credit, have not commented on and, instead, have borne with great humility and understanding).

Asshole! :wink:

I’ll trade, twicks - my cycles are very very regular - every three weeks - and I have lovely hot flashes. Poor Mr. SCL walks around shivering when I am in the throes of one. I told him he could turn down the AC if he would buy a chest freezer because I can’t sleep in the upright.

Last time I shopped for necessities, OB tampons were on sale so I got two boxes. I bought the “ultra” size. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT BORNE A CHILD. I am hoping they will exchange the unopened box.

I am praying that I don’t ever have a period again. I’ve just had one in the last year, although mine have been irregular for at least 5 or 6 years now – anywhere from two weeks to six months apart. But to make up for that? I’ve been having hot flashes for the past eleven years. Trust me, if you haven’t had 'em yet, you are a very, very lucky twickster!

I’ve nominated the inventor of the hormone patch for Sainthood. Good luck, Twicks! Maybe you’ll get through it unscathed!

Not planning to take hormones – there’s breast cancer in my family history (thanks, sis! [just kidding]).

I’m already tired of this whole process–my uterus has been irrelevant for almost thirty years and the extra added perimenopausal fun that is irregular periods of wildly vacillating severity is the frosting on the annoyance cake. For some reason my body decided I needed to have a period TWICE in August, so now I feel like I shouldn’t hear from the uterine area until sometime around Thanksgiving! More likely it’ll hit me every week and a half for the next three months just to show me.

I don’t have daytime hot flashes, but the night sweats are quite the treat… :rolleyes: Even the cat knows not to touch me when I’m on top of the covers because I’ll launch him into the stratosphere!

I like the randomness of the menstrual experience itself, once it decides to manifest itself. I’m having my first period in about four months – and instead of starting heavy and then tapering off for the rest of the five days (my normal pattern for, damn, 30, 35 years), it started with a day of spotting, followed by a day and a half of light flow, a half day of very heavy flow (and you can guess how that brought itself to my attention), then back to light flow.


Hot flashes and night sweats for two years now.

What helps: SoyBalance supplements. Cutting out caffeine and other stimulants like Red Zinger tea. 30 minutes of walking at least four days a week.

Also discovered along the way that it’s directly correlated to my level of background anxiety. Worried or stressed about something? Worse. Life going well? Not too bad.

This is barely related to the OP, but just last night I was telling my boyfriend how weird it is to suddenly not be having a period anymore after 24 years of regularity. (That’s 288 periods. Holy crap!) I’m only almost 36, but I started taking Depo-Provera in May and my periods stopped immediately and completely – save for two brief episodes of light spotting.

I don’t feel old, but I feel weird. Every time I’m in the feminine products aisle at the grocery store and I only need to buy panty liners … every time I go under the bathroom sink at home for more toilet paper and notice the pads and tampons that I haven’t touched in 4 months … every time I hear/see someone talking about her period … weird. :slight_smile:

Women on both sides of my family don’t give up the fight until their early to mid 60s. All my friends are on or getting ready to ride the menopause express, 10-20 years ahead of me. They will all be over it when I’m just ramping up the super-crankies. I feel so left behind…

Welcome, twicks, to the world of hot flashes (which are really fun when conducted in public).

I ordered this handy, dandy hotflash helper and am counting the days until it arrives.

phall0106, who is on week 5 of her surgically induced menopause and is now an expert at hot flashes.

Before I got a DivaCup, I was more or less forced to use the Ultra size from them if I didn’t want to bleed through the tampons every couple of hours, and I don’t recall them being too big or hard to use unless my period was unusually light. They are, however, giant cotton torpedoes only useful for when you’re bleeding like you’re going to die.

I did that by accident, too! I don’t normally wear tampons, but I needed to get some since I was planning on swimming (and then maybe horseback riding and jet skiing and yadda yadda, all the things they say you can do). I went to the store and had to peruse for what seemed like hours, till I found something that was with a plastic applicator and unscented. Accidentally, I took the ultra size. Normally I never feel a tampon inside…whoa nelly. And when I pulled it out, I was in shock at the size of that thing that came out of me.

If you’ve had kids, does that make a difference? Are you that much wider, so that you wouldn’t feel a gigantic tampon in you?

1989 - all the relevant equipment was removed. Instant hot flashes. Followed by several years of estrogen supplements. Followed by nothing. I get the occasional, very rare flash, but mostly I’m just mellow and cool. No, really, I am.

The only feminine products under the sink are my daughter’s emergency stash.

I have no idea. I just know I haven’t had kids, and I was extremely uncomfortable - no, I was freakin’ miserable. It didn’t look that big when I was putting it in, but it was horrible!

Aside from the hot flashes, I’m jealous. No, really.

I’m sick of having to stock up on Super Plus tampons and still having to double up with a pad AND having to set an alarm on the heaviest-flow days to make sure I don’t leak. Oh, and the bathroom looks like a crime scene.

But, hey, I can hold out for another fifteen or twenty years or so. :smack:


Are you me? I had most of the relevant equipment removed in '96 (not my ovaries) and it’s been heaven not having to deal with periods. I know someday I’ll be getting hot flashes, and I still get an occassional day or two of hormonal mood-swing bitchiness, but the whole no-period thing has been wonderful.

Oh, and the tampons under the sink are also my daughter’s. :stuck_out_tongue:

phall0106 you are going to let us know how well it works right? It sounds like it will be a wonderful thing.

I either sleep with an ice pack or a washcloth and from all of the tossing and turning they usually end up on the floor. When that fails I climb in the tub and just run cold water through the hose on my arms and legs. It helps for a while.

The kids are starting to complain about how cold the van is when we go anywhere and what sucks is one minute I’m fine the next I’m hot and then the next I’m freezing. No happy medium.