DAMN YOU, Scylla...and your little blimp, too!

And now that I think about it, Wang-Ka can go to hell, too.

You see, I’m currently at an in-between job as an intern at a law firm before starting a teaching job in August. I’m trying to apply for graduate school, and at this internship job they’ve run out of things for me to do. When I first started, I would do constructive things with my free time, like read books and work on my personal statement for grad school applications. Then, over dinner one night, a friend of mine says, “WHAT???!! YOU HAVEN’T READ THE EVIL BLIMP STORY?? I’LL SEND YOU THE LINK TOMORROW!” So he does, and I read what is possibly the Funniest Story Ever, and I start poking around the SDMB. I come across some pretty good threads, but all the while I’m thinking, “Man, these people have WAY too much time on their hands. I mean, some of this stuff is good, but these people need to get lives.” Then I come across Wang-Ka’s Jehovah’s Witness story, with links to the Watermelon story and the various Fire Extinguisher stories, laugh my ass off, end up registering, and now I spend my time at work futzing around on the SDMB with all you asshats. And you know how much time I’ve spent here over the last week by the fact that I just used the words “futzing” and “asshats” in the same sentence. I mean, I spent an entire day catching up on the Missing Co-Worker story between projects. YOU PEOPLE HAVE SUCKED ME IN, and I don’t like it!! I think Cecil is using this message board to flash subliminal messages at us poor schmucks to get us to keep coming back (and please, no one provide a link to the Straight Dope column about how subliminal messaging doesn’t work; I was speaking tongue-in-cheek).

October: you obviously haven’t spent enough time in the BBQ Pit yet - your post doesn’t mention “Goat-felching” once! :wink:

heh heh heh. Got another one!
Boo-ya!

100 points for Scylla.

Remind me… how many points for the toaster? Or is that only for the gay group? :wink:

You ain’t seen nothing yet

Don’t feel bad October, I too, was sucked in the Evil Blimp story. My co-worker showed it to me, and I’ve been here ever since. I was also greatly sucked in by the Missing Co-worker saga, and the “AAAGGGH Spider” thread had me laughing so hard I was crying.

Since I’ve discovered SDMB it’s been really difficult to force myself to actually WORK when I’m at work. I keep trying to sneak peaks at SDMB, promising myself I’ll only be there for five minutes.

Yup, SDMB has become a sick addiction, and I think I’m going to need some intervention soon.:wink:

Actually, I don’t have as much free time as I’d like.

I just type really fast, that’s all…

If being addicted to the SDMB is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!

:smiley:

I just realized that I’ve spent almost my entire workday on the boards today. So much for, you know, WORKING!

wavering voice My name is lezlers and I’m an SDMBaholic!

:frowning:

You need to know about Giraffe’s adventure, too:

Ur-in-trouble-now

Hi October. Welcome to the Boards.

By the way, have you happened to notice the threadIf LotR Had Been Written By Someone Else!?

::: runs away with an evil cackle :::

Re-arrange your calendar, October!
Welcome!

Where’s the “AAAAGGGGH Spider” thread???

It’s on the link in my post under True Life Adventures.

The one Titled “Gah, Spider, Spider, Spider in my pants”? Oh okay, I was looking for one titled just “AAAAGGH Spider”. VERY funny, AND sad, I felt so bad for him getting all cut up and having such bills from it!!!

(pssst Payton’s Servent? You don’t live in TEXAS do you?? That’s where I’m moving, and unlike you, I DETEST and am terrified of the darn things!!!)

Which the boyfriend thinks is great, as I do all kinds of “there’s SPIDER on ME!!!” dances around him.

Oh lord, if you think you’re wasting time now, don’t do a search for pimple , and for heaven’s sake DO NOT search for stop the farting . Word to the wise.

The “child of filth” one by Welby got me.

linitylinklink http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=143463&highlight=verily

I hate you all. I just spent the last two hours reading the Child of Filth (inspired), farting (almost got me in trouble at work), and pimple threads. It’s a good thing I wasn’t a member when those last two were posted, because I have some doozies, and I would have felt compelled to share with y’all a pimple story that required a humongous cover-up lie, a secret trip to the emergency room, and a trip to a plastic surgeon, and not a single soul knows the truth of it.

Did Scylla ever try getting his blimp story published in Reader’s Digest or anything?

October, now you have to tell that one!!

Sock Munkey, I believe he got it published in Europe’s premiere blimping magazine, or something like that.