Darn you all! Pit me or suffer!

What is wrong with you wretched cock-sucking pissant bastards? Aren’t I pit-worthy! Pit me or may a wave of fireants infest your bone marrow and turn every day into a nightmare of venomous agony!

Pit me! Pit me!

Why not?! Haven’t I been mean enough? Yes? No? Screw you all! I want some hate!!! Give it to me straight you disreoputable shit-stained fetus-eating bastards!

Smegma! Fuck! Fuckity-fuck-fuck! Bloody Mary! Vodka Martini!

Sorry. Just felt like having a random Tourette’s episode.

This sort of thing never ends well.

Wanker.

Self-pitting closed. I’d be rude about it, but the OP just doesn’t inspire any real anger in me for some reason.