Darth Vader's Pizzeria (or Share your strange dreams)

My dreams have always been a bit odd (in 6th grade I dreamed I was being chased through a maze by walking, singing Popsicles,) but in the past few months they’ve been getting downright weird. The only real trend is that they tend to work in one or more strange out-of-character performance by a comic book, video game or movie character.

For instance, a night or two ago, I dreamed that I was Dick Grayson (the original Robin for non comics fans) and that Batman sent me back in time to work for Sir Walter Raleigh. As a comic book artist. The problem is that I couldn’t draw ships very well and Raleigh kept asking me to draw big navel scenes but all the ships ended up looking the same. :smack:

A few months later, I dreamed that Darth Vader was starting a pizzeria. He was wearing a white apron and poofy chef’s hat over his usual black armor and patting out pizza dough and tossing it up in the air and all the usual pizzeria stuff. (He did it all by hand too. No force powers at all.) So after several minutes of me trying to figure out what’s going on, he gets a phone call from the Emperor. It turns out that it’s all a plan to open the best pizza place in the galaxy and offer excellent deals for carry out. The rebels won’t be able to resist and when they show up to pick up their order, Vader can capture them. (Because of course the whole rebellion will show up to pick up a single carry out order.) :rolleyes:

I’ve got several more but in the interest of not making the OP too long I’ll post them later.

Anyone else have any strange dreams lately?

Oh, dear. You really should take a look at this (video, YouTube).

Actually your dreams sound really cool.

“The Anchoviers are strong with this one!”


You should send that in to Slow Wave.

Maybe I should…

Here’s another from several months ago.
I was working as a stereotypical b-movie scientist. I was in a lab full of techno-do-dads that don’t really serve a purpose except to alert you that you’re in a laboratory. I was wearing the obligatory white lab coat. The room was all black and white, like it really was ripped directly out of an old movie, but all the people in it were in color. I have no clue what I was working on, but my boss was yelling at me to work faster. So I glance over at him and recognize him. My boss is Salazar from Resident Evil 4! Then I notice my lab assistant. He’s Superman! He’s in full costume with a white lab coat on over it (which looked pretty silly, but I’m not about to tell the Man of Steel that he looks like a dork.) I don’t remember anything beyond that.

Does anyone else have strange dreams worth mentioning? I’m starting to worry that I’m the only one with a completely insane subconscious.

Nah, you’re ok.

Just last night I had a dream about myself and a buddy of mine trying to infiltrate, Miami Vice-style, a crime ring run out of a Mexican restaurant on top of a movie theater. My bud wears loud Hawaiian shirts all the time, and of course did in this dream, as well.

Anyway, just as we’re ingratiating ourselves with the crimelord (the better to spoil his evil plans!), my wife walks in chatting on her cellphone and gives the whole game away. This of course leads to the inevitable Fight Scene, in which I and my buddy proceed to whomp on many many bad guys (earning ourselves a few grazing bullet wounds and decorative cuts on the forehead, but nothing serious). The FBI shows up, equipped with the latest in MIB technology, and the crime ring pulls out all the stops, revealing that the movie theater is really a secret training facility, and they have a buttload of highly trained commandos in there just waiting to fight.

My buddy and I take a moment to split a bottle of tequila during this battle, after splitting the (evil, natch) bartender’s forehead with another bottle.

Finally, as we’re about to be overwhelmed, I whip out my Star Trek-style communicator and call for backup, and another friend of ours shows up to assist. He leaps out of the air vents, dressed like a ninja, and proceeds to duel with the ringleader (who looks suspiciously like Raoul Julia), until the self-destruct is accidentally tripped. We all then dive for the exits and the whole building explodes.

Outside, MacGyver (sp?) is hotwiring the getaway car with a Swiss army knife and a pack of chewing gum, since our lovely convertible has been trashed by falling debris.

I swear, I have no idea what caused this dream, aside perhaps from a lifetime of watching bad buddy movies.


You mean like this?

Last night I dreamed that Satan, played by Tim Curry (sort of a cross between Frank’n’Furter and his demon character from Legend), had arisen and was planning to take over the world. But first he seduced me. As he was busy arranging the destruction of planet earth, I tried to escape, but then I realized that I really wanted to have sex with him again.

Even regular dreams of mine, such that I remember, are slightly on the odd side, but I think I mostly get that feeling because they feature friends and acquaintances from completely different, non-overlapping social groups interacting together as if it were perfectly normal. It’s kind of disconcerting in a way. Some dreams will feel very realistic, to the point that when I wake up, I sometimes have trouble orienting myself with my surroundings because I’m not sure if I’m still in the dream or not.

However, when I have a fever, my dreams veer off into the realm of the absolutely insane. We’re talking “My friend was a homicidal maniac with a really wide grin and a very annoyingly chipper outlook on life, but he agreed not to kill me because we started singing songs together and it sounded pretty good” or “Little Red Riding Hood figures out she never really liked her mean old bitch of a grandma, and she and the Wolf embark on a three-state run with the law on their tails”. The weirdest dream I have ever had, however, was in high school, lasted only a short moment, and had a very simple premise.

I dreamt I was a sausage. I was sitting (well, lying) in a package with several other sausages, thinking “Boy, it sure is fun being a sausage.”

I was still slightly confused two hours after waking up. I mean, what the hell?

I’ve mentioned recently on the Board about my “invention” dreams. I dreamed about a 3D TV system, complete with technical details. The system would work, too. But there are plenty of 3D TV systems and patents out there already.

More recently I dreamed that I had to figure out and assemble, Interociter-like (appropriate, huh?) A device I’d been given in parts. It turned out to be a butane-powered model racing car, which used those disdpoable Bic cigarette lighters as fuel.
never dreamed about Darth Vader pizzza, though, or anything like it.
“Darth Vader Eggplant Pizza. Come over to the Dark Side!”

One of the cooler ones I had occurred a number of years ago, and it was the first dream I had where I (or my character, rather) started out the dream with a backstory fully-formed in my head already.

See, I was a government worker who had been railroaded into a top secret project by government goons. Their new technology essentially “extracted” your soul from your body, allowing you to roam freely without the trappings of your mortal coil, invisible and undetectable except by another piece of top-secret technology that could locate and trap your soul after they’ve gotten their use from you. I was placed in a small, featureless chamber that had a window on the door and a stool in which one could sit. from the top corner of the booth was slung the top-secret energy device that did the extraction – and extract it did. After moments of blurred vision and disorientation I suddenly found myself looking down at my own body, slumped over itself on the stool in much the way you hear people with near-death experiences see themselves floating over their bodies.

But I didn’t like it not one bit. They couldn’t do this to me! I was a human being, and I had rights. I wasn’t going to take this lying … uh … floating … down. Or up. No, I was not. I had to get out. I was incorporeal, now (though curiously, while the laws of gravity had no effect on me, solid objects were still an impediment) so I could make good my escape.

I pushed up the drop ceiling (yeah, tight security here) and started making my way above the offices and cubicles that these chambers were located beside (Hey, it’s a government office, it doesn’t have to make sense). Pipes and wires snaked through the space above the ceiling and light peeked in from the lower offices where the ceiling offered cracks. There was a commotion below; my soul was missing from the chamber. The began to give chase.

Somehow I came down out of the ceiling in an alcove that lead into a very large mall. This place was huge; six or seven mezzanine levels surrounded a large open space with escalators connecting each one at opposide sides of the mall on alternating levels. Glass-paneled balustrades prevented one from tipping over the edge to certain doom. I wasn’t too concerned with that in my ghostly form though. I reached an escalator that led down and snatched a look behind me. The goons were hot on my heels, and they were being led by Michael Ironside. He pointed his device. (I’d recently seen Total Recall in theatres so I guess he snuck in from there) It located me, and they rushed in my direction. I rushed (inasmuch as one can rush while floating) down the escalator to the lowest level of the mall and hid behind a pillar. The goons passed by a Laser Tag booth in the middle of the floor. (It must have been some kind of TARDIS type dealie because the booth itself was a couple hundred square feet at best) They ran into the booth. Gunfire ensued. I guess they mistook the laser tag guns for real ones and began firing away.

I took that opportunity to float in the other direction. I came upon an empty storefront. At least, I think it was a storefront of sorts; it had a large bay-type opening where there probably should have been a window. There was no door. Only a low-slung wall that barely counted as more than a support for the window. There was nothing inside – it was just an empty, brightly-lit room. In retrospect this was probably a very stupid hiding place, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. I ducked down behind the little wall, which rose barely higher than I did when lying on my side. Fortunately the wall angled inwards, towards the outside, which offered a bit of a place to roll under to better conceal myself. Except in rolling under I ran face-first into a spider’s web, which freaked me the hell out.

And then I woke up™

(I hate spider webs)

The closest thing I have to a recurring dream involves the theme of me wandering around in halways, streets or a shopping mall looking for something. Usually, I’m not even sure what I’m looking for.

This morning, I had that dream again, only this time it was combined with the TV show Lost and a Hieronymous Bosch painting. I was with some of the characters from Lost, plus a bunch of other people, we had infiltrated some elaborate compound (maybe the Dharma initiative building), and we were walking through the mazelike hallways, exploring all the different rooms. Occasionally, somebody would start transforming into a bizarre Bosch-like creature. Eventually, we decided to go back to where we had come from, and had to paddle across a large body of water in little half-submerged kayak things, using tiny, flimsy, crude paddles. I think that’s about when I woke up.

Oops. :smack:
Naval scenes.

Wow. You all seem to have much more long, plot-heavy dreams. Mine are usually just a brief scene with some idea of the background, if that. I never know really why the things are happening or get more than a minute or so worth of plot (that I can remember later at least.)

Just last night I dreamt I was part of a group of humans, adults and children, trying to escape from a research facility/zoo run by aliens. We ran across other humans and I was trying to convince them that the aliens weren’t friendly like they believed but were really here to enslave all earthlings. To escape we had to wade through pirahna-infested water tanks then past some kind of giant lizards which had the annoying habit of darting out and eating people. The surviving members and I ended up in a huge kitchen area but before we could get through the adjoining cafeteria (complete with decorative tropical plants) a few jeeploads of armed humans working for the aliens drove up and blocked our exit. They tried to talk us into surrender then when we wouldn’t answer started playing sappy, nostalgic music. (I have no idea.) I realized that they meant to charge us as soon as the song was over and told everyone to get ready. Some of us had picked up weapons from somewhere along the way and I told them to hide where the alien-employed humans couldn’t see them and get ready to shoot on my signal.

Then I woke up. Rats. I’d wanted to see how that played out.

One somewhat strange dream I had just last night…

I was visiting my old home (which my family hasn’t lived in for 10 years). In the dream my family still lived there and it was just a routine visit. While I was walking around in my old room, this newly married couple (whom I had never met before) walk into my room and ask me to sculpt them a statue. I’m not nor have I ever been known for my sculpting ability, and these people didn’t even introduce themselves or anything, but in the dream I was only slightly puzzled. They preset me a clay slab and I start sculpting. I think they asked me to make a statue of their son, since at the end I ended up with a statue of a little boy, and it actually turned out pretty well.

I once dreamt I was married to an abusive, alcoholic Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2. I was waiting in that dank room with the fan in the ceiling under Toluca Prison, sitting on a cot, waiting for him to come home from “work.” He came home, and things got…unpleasant.

More recently, I dreamt I was a White House staffer on The West Wing. The Vice President (played inexplicably by Dennis Quaid) chewed me out for a mistake he had made with a French dignitary, and I had to find a quiet place to call the French Embassy and apologize. Naturally, I couldn’t find a place until Agent Skinner from the FBI was kind enough to let me use his office. I was about to place the call when Donna brought Vice President Quaid in to apologize. I heart Donna.

The weirdest and most disturbing dream in recent memory, however, was one where I was living in a trailer with Seth Green, Joel Robinson from MST3K and a greasy, unkempt guy. I came home on a hot, humid night to find Seth and Joel’s remains scattered all over the place. Joel’s head was sitting on the kitchen counter. It was unaccountably still alive and trying to warn me of the greasy guy’s predictable turn into a psycho killer. I looked in the fridge and found some moldy Mexican food, plus a brain-shaped Jello mold containing real chunks of Seth’s brain. The greasy guy burst out of the living room brandishing a huge kitchen knife. I got away and got the cops, but I woke up before the greasy psycho was brought to justice.

I’ve already mentioned on the boards about me fighting zombies with Jean-Luc Picard and his crew.

I’ve had a few odd ones, the last coupla nights.

The first was some kind of apocalyptic nightmare, loosely based on Fail Safe. Towards the end the President, Henry Fonda, who was beggining to resemble Billy Connolly was wandering through some small backwater southern town, and somehow ended up with some kinda of sedan chair/jet pack flying machine.

The next night…equally nightmarish, though I don’t remember the details. Some kind of Mythbusters episode, I think…it involved vivisecting a machete-lobotomized pig (Complete with sounds. Let me just say…I’d rather have lived my whole life without ever seeing and hearing that hell. :eek:), and making some kind of collage out of nude polaroids of Kari Byron. (Which was my job. They were very…appealingly done, I must say. Well, from what I saw, before I was distracted by the zombie cyborg battering it’s way through the roof.)

Wait a moment…
It could be that you read the dope too much. IIRC there was a hilarious thread that included Vader stealing pizza…


Aha!: grey matter still works!:

Don’t underestimate the power of the pepperoni!

Man, some of these are strange. Here’s another from my own experience, the night before the Vader dream actually.

I dreamed that I was being chased through a 2-D construction site (like a level out of an old video game.) When I finally caught a glimpse of the person chasing me, it’s Venom and he’s got a chainsaw! I stop and try to figure out why Venom would need a chainsaw, but before I can think of anything, he’s caught up to me and is thrusting the chainsaw at me. (Not the most effective way to use a chainsaw, but I assume Venom has very little experience with them so we can let it slide.) Anyways, after a couple of thrusts, the finally hits me square in the gut, but the chainsaw passes harmlessly through me and I wake up.

I’m still trying to figure out why Venom needed a chainsaw.