Ha ha. “Come on Eileen, now, come on Eileen.”
“Poor little bastard’s trying!”
But, if you’re going to judge your GF/FWB/SO/fiancee/wife by a single social characteristic, I think beer pretentiousness is pretty much as good as anything else.
Now let’s hear from someone who took a bottle of Boone’s Farm to a wine-tasting party…
And then he burned his tongue on the coffee because…
He drank it before it was cool.
Dead giveaway and Poe’s Law warning flag…
<snip>
Too-rye-A! 
I’m sorry, the dog was a Shih-tzu, and I called it, “Irene.”
::runs like hell::
This didn’t go where I thought it would go, but I had a friend who did that, brought her Very Own Favorite wine or beer to a party. To share, yes, but wanted to make sure she wasn’t served something not on her list of what she would drink.
Was your post actually serious or were you making fun of hipsters? You sound like a handbook on a how to be cool on your side of town.
I love beer. I love most kinds of beers. I love beer so much, I brew it at home. (extract)
But I can’t stand beer snobs. I don’t even go into homebrew stores irl anymore, I buy supplies online. If someone enjoys bud light lime, or a leinie’s shandy- more power to 'em. Life is short. Drink what you want.
How the heck is “Africa Hot” offensive? I use it all the time- it’s a quote from Biloxi Blues: “Man it’s hot. It’s like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn’t take this kind of hot.”
Matthew Broderick ain’t offensive.
Holy shit! I just turned Indian red!
Its unlikely that she’s an idiot, so maybe she wants you to step up your game & move up a notch with your life. There’s probably a lot more than three options, but here are three:
-
You are dating someone who is clueless of your strict code of conduct.
Make a choice about who you want to be and live your life from there. -
She Really Doesn’t Care… and probably wonders why you do.
Make a choice about who you want to be and live your life from there.
The Other 2) You are dating someone so amazingly and wickedly spectacular that Kristen Wiig wants to be more like her.
Make a choice about who you want to be and live your life from there (and write that book).
I hope that was from laughing.
Apologies if offense taken.
Please slap the crap out of me and tell me there are not people in this thread who think the OP’s post is anything but an egg-g-g-g-g-selent parody of hipsterisms. Someone step up and slap me right now.
burpo - a play on the OP turning “beet red”. I am an Indian (but brown without my paint on, despite what people in England say).
My story would be about Kraft singles at a cheese party.
I’m imagining that in the best example of Poe’s Law ever that Super Kapowlzer moved to Boulder, CO or Oregon, walks around acting all hipstery to mock them and AB is his neighbor trying to mock what he thinks is SK’s style - coincidentally on this board.
And shit.
If you string two more of those together, you’ll create a hipster singularity, and then we’re all doomed. 
Re: Sherry being ironic by bringing bud light? I dunno guys, it crossed my mind too. Then again, she wears chaco sandals you guys. Chaco sandals. And I forgot to mention, she loves Olive Garden.
Hehehe. Sorry guys, I didn’t realize “Africa Hot” was a movie reference. Who knew that Tanya had that kind of sophistication to use one. Seriously though, she is a LESBRO. I’m just calling it the way I see it. Let’s see…she once drew pubic hair on a mannequin in a mall, got us kicked out of a casino because she was really drunk, threw a rock in a tree full of birds and they flew out shittingon everything, and she just sent a mass text picture of her wearing a green polo shirt with a dark blue fleece vest with matching green and dark blue camouflage briefs. I didn’t mind, but I felt sorry for the more conservative people in our group. We have a Mormon and Muslim, dammit. She doesn’t fit in either. She’s a friend of Bayonet. I think the only reason why he keeps her around is because he’s kind of a d-bag. He’s obsessed with the idea that he can turn lesbians straight.
What do you suppose Sherry would bring to a wine tasting?
Huh. All I can think of is the S.C.U.M. Manifesto, which has a passage about how men will “wade through a river of shit, swim an ocean of snot, and climb a mountain of boogers and scabs if he thinks there’s friendly pussy waiting for him on the other side.” I don’t think much of the uberadicalfems of that era or any other, but any time I hear about a guy putting up with some woman (and I mean REALLY putting up with her)… this is what wanders through my mind.