How does one change their status from weirdo to hipster? Where is the line drawn?
There is no line. It is a Venn diagram. All hipsters are (intentional) weirdos but not all weirdos are hipsters. It is all about motivation and the level of condescension directed towards others. Weirdos can be anything from basic socially awkward people, to the mentally ill to the homeless. Hipsters are the subset of weirdos that revel in their real or imagined oddities to an extreme level and claim to revel in it. They see that as the opposite of a disadvantage and use it to form exclusive social groups based on nothing more than vaguely shared and oddly competitive eccentricities. Most come from rather privileged backgrounds but have not managed to be very economically successful themselves so claiming unusual interests and styles are their way to assert their authority in their own little micro-universe.
I donno. No one was smoking, ironically or not. Or is that not hipster anymore? I was uncool before uncool was cool, if it still is cool. Maybe we’re back to being nerds.
Living overseas and not being a part of American culture in a zillion ways, I had to look up chaco sandals and lesbians.
Yeah, he needs to change it to “Pike” or “Halberd”…
Well, in all fairness it could have been an aborted fetus in there. Hey, if the topic worked for a first conversation, think of what it could do for a first date.
If I were the OP I would offer to get her pregnant just so she could have an abortion – for the merit badge and the hipster cred.
One of my co-workers was just over in my cube complaining about his hipster soon-to-be brother-in-law and his bride to be, my co-worker’s wife’s sister.
“yea, that is 100% the description of both of them. Every single word”
So very good job, Shagnasty!
Please tell me the OP wears a douchetooth. That has pretension written all over it.
You aren’t the only one. I laughed throughout. Also, chocolate peanut butter beers can be delicious (Terrapin makes a good one - Terrapin Liquid Bliss).
Though it may be a bit sad that I was reading through AB’s list of ‘craft beers’ and thought, those are your craft beers? Try a little, would you? 
Subscribed. The OP almost makes me weep but the 88 replies are pure gold. I love you guys.
Also, can I get this girls number? I don’t even like beer but she’s got moxie, and she doesn’t fit in with hipsters, two massive plusses.
Good enough story. Thanks for taking the effort to write something.
I came to the same conclusion, beginning with:
There is a donut flavored one in a pink bottle. I don’t drink beer (don’t like hops) but the guys tell me it was quite good actually. The Bud Lime was only outclassed by the Four Locos and the Michelob Tuscan Orange Grapefruit and the Chelata.
I love craft beer, and I love Bud Light Lime. It’s a great beer on a hot summer day. My friend had a blind-ish fruit beer drinking tasting. And guess which one won? That’s right, Bud Light Lime.
Don’t knock it.
I’m a woman and I have no idea what Chaco sandals are so I am going to question your maleness or something for knowing what they are.
Could have been worse.
Could have been Meister Brau.
I thought I was trendy for drinking Blue Moon.
This thread has sent me to Google (mostly the Urban Dictionary) so many times, “douche tooth” being the latest search. Gonna use that one a lot.
If you wanna get high school girls drunk, nothing corrupts minors like Zima.
Since manual typewriters have become a hipster thing, I’m not at all surprised by mix tapes.