Right… Matthew Borderick and Africa hot is socially out for that group. Can I use references to guys in orange robes bursting in to flames or crotch pot cooking when discussing the weather around hipsters?
If the OP brought Bud Light Lime to a beer party, it would be the most clever and ironic statement ever on how much cooler he is than anyone else in Oregon.
I used to feel the same way about Zima.
Oh man, if you could get your hands on a 6 pack of Zima today, you could freeze time as you slowly pulled it out of the bag at a hipster craft beer party. Winds of irony would quickly paralyze the entire room in slow motion and no one would be able to be condescending to you for like, at least a day. That is like that Crane Kick in the Karate Kid. If do right, no can defense.
But don’t you see, it had lime! It doesn’t get any hipper than that. Budweiser really knows what the cool people like.
And keep your feet off the damn table.
BTW, tell your friend “Bayonet” that I find his name offensive and please change it. Millions of people have died and been injured because of those instruments of brutal warfare throughout history. The symbolism should not be celebrated in irony or anything else. Shortened forms like “Bay”,“Bayo” or “Net” are acceptable for now although the latter is marginal due to its association with involuntary capture. Symbols of violence should never be casually celebrated especially for something as frivolous as a nickname (if it is his legal name, he can have that changed easily as well). I am sure he is a decent person in some ways and this is just an insensitive oversight on his part but it needs to be remedied immediately.
No kidding.
You opened the conversation with your views on abortion.:dubious:
In all fairness, it is a brilliant strategy. Done correctly, you can make it sound like you are really interested in women’s rights when, in reality, you just want to know what the Plan B is going to be if the condom breaks and you crap out. It is best to learn that very early in the introductions.
I have no doubt that the OP is the coolest guy in Bugtussle.
Well, of course it was (an attempt at) satire (not parody), but I’d hardly call it “excellent.” It’s so overdone and artless that it comes off as just clumsy and really not effective in any way.
All it does is make you wonder what kind of mythological “hipster” bogeyman could possibly have traumatized the OP IRL.
Can we still slap him anyway?
Hey, jimbuff is my new best friend and if you’re gonna slap him, you gotta slap me fir…OW…Hey, what the…OUCH…that hur…YOWCH…
Pruno!
I call bullshit on the OP. The very first thing you would have done when you picked Sherry up for your date, is ask her what kind of beer she had in the bag. :dubious:
This thread makes me very glad I’m old. Thank you (everyone) for that.
Wisconsin, huh? La dee da. We have a Bugtussle in OK. There also Bugtussles in TN, AL (the original), KY and TX. The Texicans call theirs “Bug Tussle”. Lame-Os.
I’m down with the OP - I like my humor broad and blatant. None of that “tee-hee” crap for me. I also cannot much stand the taste of beer or (dry) wine. I did use to drink wine some in my early 20s. Then I started hanging with a better crowd and got really tired of them snorting down their noses at my Lambrusco. There may be lower forms of life somewhere in the galaxy than wine snobs, but I’ve never run across one yet. Oenophile, my ass.
That’s a crime against beer. sips her Rolling Rock
[Rodney Dangerfield impression]Fuck it’s just beer. Who gives a shit.
(Pretentious doesn’t sit well with me, so drink your craft beer and I will ignore you in the future [/Rodney Dangerfield impression]
Actually this a a valid discussion.
Evidently the entire purpose of the party was to sample craft-brewed beers.
I get that.
However, I have been poor enough to only afford enough of the cheapest six-pack in the store - and I would hope that maybe you would realize that gesture without posturing.
That is where you are wrong. The real purpose of any such party is to outdo your host on the pretentious scale and it doesn’t always work the way that you think. Sure, you can try to buy the fanciest craft beer available and form a soliloquy over its virtues as you open it but even that is risky. What if someone else chooses the same thing and they are more eloquent than you plus their beard is longer AND they are wearing a kilt? You just lost the game - BADLY. It is better to try for an outside move. Obscurity is extremely important in this game. A winning move isn’t about overall quality, it is about asserting dominance over others. You need to find some combination of obscurity that is ideally tied to something that no one has ever heard of and be able to expound at length why it is superior to anything anyone else has found.
There are multiple ways to do this:
- Brand new breweries
- Legacy brands rediscovered like PBR or MGD
- Some crap you made on your own
No one strategy will work all the time. The key to being a successful hipster is always about staying one step ahead of the game. If lots of other people start adopting your ideas, it is time to jump ship and come up with something new. You can even re-circle back like Sherry did and adopt a mass market brand for a time. That takes skill but it is a slam dunk if you do it right. Sherry is a genuine hipster and the OP is a poser.
The vast majority of hipsters these days are fakers, haters and wannabees. I would go so far as to say that you cannot be a real hipster if you live in places like Portland or Brooklyn because those areas have become passe and way too conformist like the hippies in San Francisco before them. The real ones live in places like the revitalizing areas of Detroit and Cleveland these days. They forge their own way and don’t follow current trends at all - they create them by definition even if they are horrible people otherwise. They should be applauded for it.