She’s smart, hot, and would know better if it weren’t for the tragedy. And what’s “**cruel” **about fighting ignorance? I will let it go, but don’t think I’m a jerk for wanting to say; “hey… this ‘God’ you talk about…”
But not as smart as you, am I right?
It’s kind of you to restrain your rhetorical powers on her behalf, and I’m sure once she realizes that’s what you’ve been doing she’ll be overwhelmed by your respect for her.
That’s mighty big of you. Why would she want a second date with you? Bringing up her sister in the first place isn’t going to be the most fun dinner topic and trying to talk her out of her opinion is more than a little insensitive, but the really crass part is using her late sister as a prop in your quest to “challenge” her. It’s just thoughtless. Nobody asked you to take it upon yourself to enlighten her.
That’s my opinion…
I have a very good friend who is emphatically faithful. She honestly believes (or says she does) that Jesus talks to her, one to one, like a good friend.
I think this is absurd. Once, long ago, she asked my opinion, and I said, “I think this is absurd.” Then we agreed to change the subject.
If your date asks, then say what you think, once, gently. I would recommend qualifying it with “me” words. “In my opinion… What I think is…” Try to avoid “you” words. “Your belief… Your faith…” This comes dangerously close to telling her what she thinks, which is not usually very polite…
If she doesn’t ask, don’t bring it up at all.
Yes, sometimes there is a gigantic dead elephant in the middle of the dinner table, which no one ever quite talks about. Even our silences can convey information.
If she says, “I will be with my sister some day,” and you say, “Could you pass the butter, please?” that is doubly efficient. It gets the message across…and you get the butter, too.
So you say.
I’m not… if her sister weren’t a part of it, I’m sure I would be able to challenge her… That’s the problem
Yeah… I will let her believe it without trying to push my beliefs on to her… best advice. I didn’t learn about her sister until after I wanted to challenge her. It had in her profile “non-religious”, later she told me that a friend made the profile for her.
Yes, challenging her is the problem.
You don’t date someone because of who they might become. You date them because of who they are.
If you don’t think that who she is, right now, is awesome, don’t waste her time.
The problem is that she lost a sibling. The fact that you can’t argue with her about it without being insensitive is just too freaking bad.
I secretly want to tell the OP that this girl is going to believe what she believes whether or not he fucking “lets” her.
What should I do? 
THAT is true… but don’t act like I’m using her sister to motivate me to challenge her.
I didn’t say you’re using the sister as motivation. I said you’re talking about using her sister as a prop in the conversation. It’s not your business to convert anybody, and it’s very callous to do this kind of thing to someone who is grieving. If this is your attitude you really need to re-examine your priorities.
Um… Not use the word “fucking” to begin with… It tautens the emotional tone of the discussion needlessly.
Seriously, the key to these kind of disagreements is respect. Say what you’ve got to say…as gently as possible.
It’s not a prop. You may be right about re-examine my priorities… but like I said, I was on my way to challenge her before I knew about her loss.
Until there’s proof about what happens after death, it’s not ignorance but a difference in opinion. Let’s say you and I go out to dinner this weekend, and I spend the entire time taunting you about your belief that Obama is going to win a second term. You ask me why I’m being such a bitch about it, so I tell you that I’m only trying to dispel your ignorance about how he’ll never have a second term. Since I can’t predict what will happen in November any better than you, am I fighting ignorance, or being oddly adversarial about an undecided topic?
It’s not JUST about what happens after you die, she’s a Christian… sort of. She picks what makes her happy, and leaves out the parts that don’t make sense
Just hypothetically, if I were having a picnic in a graveyard- would you be interested?
To The OP
You clearly feel superior and that you must enlighten the unenlightened. Is this different than how Christian proselytizers feel? Yes, but not much.
superior in this way, yes… not so much in other ways. She’s smarter than me in some ways.
I don’t say this lightly, dude.
Do her a favor and cancel the date. Trust me, she is not going to want to date you, and you may as well save some time.
No one knows what happens after death, if anything happens at all. The OP doesn’t know and the girl he wants to date doesn’t know. NO ONE KNOWS for sure. People pretend they KNOW or believe different things for different reasons, but in fact, no one KNOWS (did I mention that?).
To the OP: do this girl a favor and don’t date her. When she finds out that you’re one of those people who is sure about things that no one who ever lived is sure about, AND that you are capable of being insensitive and mean to someone you hardly know, she’ll dump you anyway.
Besides, even if there were an appropriate time/way to **challenge ** her beliefs (and I don’t think there is and why the fuck would you want to?), it would certainly not be after the death of a close loved one. The fact that you don’t know that is alarming.
Even atheists can be sensitive, caring, empathetic, tolerant, accepting, and loving. Suggest you work on those qualities and cease trying to win converts to your religion.