Dating a doctor vs. dating a bassonist

A challenge from friends. Similarities or contrasts, puns and/or other humor encouraged. I will not, at present, provide details as to which I am dating.

Whichever blows your horn.


The one who bandaids your boo-boo.

Obviously you’re dating a doctor, because you can spell doctor.

Can’t you date both like the late Earl Warren?

^ “Now who’s being naive?” :wink:

The bassoonist will have an interesting embouchure, and will have no trouble finding your low notes.

A German doctor is Arzt, which is slightly strange, but a German bassoonist carries a disassembled Fagott around in a case, which seems a bit alarming on several levels.

Blowing a bassoon is not the same as blowing a doctor.
Hmmm… Also, holding a doctor steady by sitting on his belt is unusual.

Do you have to make sure that a doctor is wet before you blow? I know that a bassoon won’t respond well unless you do that.


Basselope: [transitive verb] 1. To run away and marry a fisherman. 2. To run away and marry a fish. 3. To run away and marry Jaco Pastorius. 4. To run away and marry Vladimir Miller. 5. To run away and marry anybody, but only on a fishing trip or a concert trip.

[noun] 1. Antelope that sings the low part. 2. Antelope that plays the bass. 3. Large antelope that is played in the manner of a bass. 4. Loosely, a cross between nearly any member of the order Perciformes with nearly any deer-like bovid. 5. A fish with antelope horns growing from its head. 6. [rare] An antelope with fish horns growing from anywhere at all. 7. [even more rare] An antelope with a bassoon, tuba, bass clarinet, bass saxophone (may substitute baritone saxophone if notes below written low A are not required in this evening’s concert), ophicleide, serpent (no, not that kind of serpent you idiot), or contrabass trombone (be careful with that thing!) growing out of its head. 8. [unbelievably rare] An antelope with Vladimir Miller growing out of its head.

[French noun] [slang, pejorative] 1. A homosexual man who likes to be underneath. Underneath what? Who knows?

I didn’t understand any of this. But please don’t explain it to me, I like it fine as it is.


*“A bassinet? That kid won’t be able to play an instrument for another 5 or 6 years.” *

  • Archie Bunker

Man, that’s deep.

If the doctor is an optometrist, sex will be a constant question: better like this or better like this?

Oh, 2, definitely 2. 2…2! 2! 2!!!

Don’t you mean 7 ?

In unrelated news, I have known a crumhorn-playing doctor. Needless to say, he was happily married.

Remind me again: Which one do you date by cutting it in half and counting the rings?