I had a conversation with two good friends of mine, both male, both pretty good with the ladies. I’m female. We’re all in our early twenties, and were talking about how to us it seems like no one our age really goes on “dates” anymore early on in a relationship. That is, previously, the way people got together was, you meet someone you like, spend some time with them, and ask them out, go out on a few dates, and then establish a relationship.
However, for our generation, the normal way that relationships start is, you meet someone you like. You hang out with them in social settings. You get drunk and hook up one night. Then, you get drunk and hook up again later, possibly after another social event. During the early stages of this, you may both also hook up with other people. Also, during the early stages, y’all are still hanging out as friends. Eventually, you find yourself hooking up more and more with this one person, and you find yourself dating, kind of. Alternately, after the initial hook up, y’all could go out on quasi-dates, that still end with some action, and that are fairly non-committal. And, all in all, “dating” is kind of a place you find yourself ending up, sometimes sort of vaguely against your will, and not an end goal.
However, we all agreed that the idea of actually asking someone out on a date seemed really old-fashioned. Of all the boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve been asked out once, and the others started as described above. In addition, the “dates” that I’ve been on tend to be just for fun, with friends, with no expectation of it going any further.
Also, we all agreed that relationships seem really out of vogue among out set, and that most people don’t want to commit that much, particularly among the movers and shakers. Most people are into noncommittal hookups, sex or maybe not quite that far, where everyone remains friends afterwards.
Does this jibe with anyone else’s experiences? What do y’all think of these types of mating rituals?
Gestalt