Five-six months isn’t really very long, and it’s a bit early to expect (but you can hope) someone to be able to handle your emotional needs about something like a family death. It’s really not fair, as harsh as that sounds. At six months, I wouldn’t make that the test or deal-breaker for your relationship.
amaguri, what are you looking for in a relationship? Do you want a man who will become your spouse and the father of your children? Or do you want someone you can have a on-going, but not too serious, romance with?
Because I have to tell you, with his comment, “everyone dies,” dude does not sound like husband material to me. Which is fine, as long you’re not looking for a husband.
And if you are looking for a future spouse and decide this guy is not it, don’t waste his time or your time by continuing to date him.
I have a harsher take than a lot of the other commenters so far. “Everybody dies” hits me as a shockingly insensitive thing to say.
In essence, he told you that he was unable to see why your father might mean more to you than anyone else, and why his death might mean more to you than “everybody” else’s. It’s a way of saying, “I can’t be bothered with your feelings.”
What do your guts tell you about the situation?
Inigo’s guts tell him that you need to not move in with dude. And begin to distance yourself from him.
Don’t squirt away 6 months without an intelligent adult discussion.
Simple, yet remarkably good advice.
The solution oriented vs offering a sympathetic ear thing is a very real problem in male female relationships. With my current partner we’ve talked it through and decided the best way is to be explicit about what you’re looking for when you make your appeal – I might say “I’m really upset/annoyed about this.” or “What would you do about that?” . He might ask “Do you want me to tell you what you could do or give you a hug?”
Having said that “Everyone dies”* is *a pretty clueless comment. If he’s never lost anyone close it may be he’s just at a loss for what to say, if he has, well not a man to look to for empathy.
“What will I do if my father dies?”
“Ah babe, he’s not going to die.”
Wrong answer. Patronizing.
“Ah babe, c’mere, you need a hug.”
Wrong answer. Patronizing.
“Ah babe, according the SDMB, men his age have a 32% chance of living 4.5 months.”
Wrong answer.
Sometimes there’s not a right answer, and “aw, I’ll just sit here and be your shoulder” can come across the wrong way too.
After five months, he may not have learned “correct response to family member dying.”
It’s different for everyone.
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He could have poor communication skills.
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Do you want to spend the rest of your life guessing?
Frankly, I hate splitting the check (unless it’s lunch with a group from work). It just smacks of 'I don’t trust you to not order the prime rib only when I’m paying."
As for “everyone dies …”, that’s a big NS; but if he thinks that’s comfort, that’s the best you can expect from him.
Unless he’s under 25, look around a bit more.
Tell him why.
I’ve had enough to drink this evening that I’m not going to be PC and I’m going to to cut to the chase. Short of an impoverished student, any man that’s not pulling his wallet out for meals and entertainment before the woman even has a chance to protest is not long term material. If you really care about a woman you’re paying (or at least attempting to pay) for every fucking meal that come across the transom. “Dutch treat” past the age of 21 does not equal husband material.
Tell us how you really feel.
well it looks like this one is in the crapper… sigh
he really did have a number of redeeming qualities, i swear. but i recognize that there were also some things about him that i’m not sure i could’ve put up with in the long term. so it’s probably for the best.
my dad seems to be doing ok for the moment, btw. 
amaguri, just out of curiosity, I sent you an e-mail. Did you happen to receive it?
Also, sorry to hear about your breakup. You sound like you’re doing pretty well though.
What bollocks. “If you really care about a woman you’re paying (or at least attempting to pay) for every fucking meal”? Is love bought with luncheon vouchers? I’d prefer to die lonely than put up with a woman from your prostitutional world of weights and measures.
Thinking about the whole “dutch treat” thing - is he having troubles of his own? Like, money troubles? Or other troubles that are maybe interfering with his ability to be supportive to you, amaguri?
What’s with all this hate for us folks of Dutch ancestry? :dubious: 
No offense, but you sound old. Last time I checked, women are often employed with jobs of their own. If they are and are dating a similarly-employed man, why is it the man’s job to pay for their dates all of the time?
And if a woman invites a man out to dinner, her card better be on the check before the man even knows it’s on the table.
On the first date, the man may steal the check, for the sake of his testosterone levels. On any date, the invitee may insist on paying for coffee after the movie. Offering to leave the tip is also widely acceptable (and very nice for the wait staff; people tip better that way.)
But Dutch Treat* on a date in just tacky. Hell, if I meet a friend for drinks after work, I won’t split the check.
You invite, you pay; that’s the old-fashioned way.
- Qadgop: If you interpret it as the other’s company, not the meal, is the treat, the term is charming, rather than offensive.
What about the short term?
A lot of people seem to consider dating a pre-marriage, with all the boring responsibilities (like No Flirting With Other Men), and none of the benefits (that would be health insurance).
I don’t think you should end it; I just think you should enjoy his company, but not commit to something exclusive.
My take.
First off, I’ve been where you are and its just plain hell. I think I’m much wiser now.
Your relationship seems to have ceased moving forward and you are still at a stage where you are afraid to be completely open and honest.
Its time to get off the pot and let it all hang out.
If I were you I’d tell him exactly how you feel. I might actually let him see this thread. If you don’t get satisfaction, if you don’t feel any serious attempt to understand you and he doesn’t respond positively you will be as miserable with him hereafter just as you are now.
Life’s too short to waste on someone who doesn’t see you as worthy to be made the happiest woman in the world.
You are worthy.