Screaming, not scraming. Dammit.
Me too! The first time he flirted with me, I had to look behind me to see if he was talking to somebody else. 
I haven’t noticed a lot of sex threads. A few, sure, but nothing excessive.
Mind you, I’ve been playing my trombone a lot lately.
Ya know…if you’re gonna throw a surprise party for someone, it’s generally considered a good idea to make sure the guest of honor is going to be there. As I just told Ol’ Meanie, I don’t really frequent the Pit. But, ummm…thank you for the…honor? :rolleyes:
I’ve got to say, though, this being Pitted isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I thought there was supposed to be goat felching. I don’t even know what that is, but I was looking forward to finding out. I brought my video camera, and some carrots for the goat. And, how can we possibly have a Pit thread about sex, without anyone having used the word fuck, so far?
Let me see if I’ve got this straight. I’ve been Pitted. For spending too much time in thtreads talking about fucking, sucking, and other lascivious, loathsome and lovely acts of recreational sex.
Threads in which we aren’t allowed to use the word fuck (I think), even though that’s what we’re talking about.
So, you pulled me into the Pit for this. Because this is, after all, where such language is permitted.
It’s expected, even. Hell, it frequently runs amok, like a naked axe murderer in a convent, even in threads that are guaranteed to turn you off faster than the image of your own mother riding the wild pony.
And yet, in MY Pit thread, everyone is behaving like they’re at a church social? Mine! Of all people! Fuck me! What is this world coming to?
And, who’s up for swallowing it, when it does? 
And, stop talking about me like I’m dead, for crying out loud! It’s creepy! I feel like I’m listening to my own eulogy. 
But, I have to say, I really couldn’t ask for a better eulogy. I’m incredibly flattered to see some of the people who are standing up for me. It’s not even my “usual gang”. (And, don’t think they won’t hear about that! ;))
Meanie, thank you for dragging my sorry ass in here. I owe you another drink. And, maybe if I get you drunk enough, you’ll tell me whether you Spit or Swallow. Inquiring minds want to know!
betenoir, always happy to service…errr…provide a service for you. And, I like that “sweeping the carpet naked” idea! Especially, with a nice collar. I can see that leading to some naked carpet munching, for sure. IF you do a good job of sweeping.
lel, thank you, so much, but you better run, honey. It’s bound to get nasty around here, soon, and…oh…sorry about that. I guess I should have put you first.
There’s an SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society? I love chowder! But, it better be good chowder! None of that disgusting tomato soup with clams in it. See, that’s what’s wrong with New York, right there. Completely clueless about how to make chowder. How could they get anything else right, if they can’t even make chowder? That’s their whole problem in a nutsh…err…clamshell.
And, I once marched in three parades in a single day. I’m actually fairly proud of that. And, I played three different horns, one in each parade; trumpet, tuba, and double contrabass bugle. I don’t know much about horses, though. They say I’m hung like…oh…sorry, lel. 
Forgot who I was talking to.
So, what exactly IS the tone of this board? It sounds like a low E Flat, but it seems to be off by a quarter tone.
Queenie and Lola, you both are pretty. I’d fuck both of you in a heartbeat. Which is a compliment, believe it or not. But, I don’t think either of you would enjoy that very much. For different reasons, of course. Maybe I should have said “I’d fuck either of you…”. Separately, like. And, that’s something I’ve only said to the two of you, on this board. Well…so far.
Ethilrist and lieu, I’m honored to have such distinguished posters in my Pit thread. Like there’s any way of keeping those freeloaders away from a Pit party.
To the rest of you nice people, thank you! And…work on your straight lines, would ya’? 'Preciate it. And, any not nice people I may not have noticed, fuck you, too.
Oh, and CC, the answer is yes. You figure out which question it goes with.
The thing I don’t like about Davebear is that he’s too damn perfect. He’s always respecting women for who they are, not caring much about looks, loving women with freckles, pleasing women sexually, etc. I can’t believe it.
If there are really guys like that out there, then I’m screwed.
Don’t worry about it, Holden, I think men like that only exist in SDMB land. You’ll be okay.
I think you should try and last a bit longer then that, dude.
Davebear is cool… his threads have made me laugh and we’ve also had a fight or two over them … I like his passion for life… including his passion for sex. He makes it so women can say YES I like this, this and this and oh by the way, this thing too - and nobody raises their eyebrow and whispers slut into the air…
So go Dave … keep up the good work man!
Btw your first pitting and they’re almost cuddling ya and throwing roses at your feet…
That can’t be what a pitting is 
The day I get pitted, no doubt I’ll be roasted over an open fire and basted in Honey sauce 
Oh, quitcher fucking whining, you asshat.
There, feel better now?
Yes, thank you. And, thanks for wearing the strap-on, but I don’t think the party has quite reached that stage, yet.
This is the Pit. I didn’t wear my strap-on, I brought my whip.
Oh, is that what that is? Why is it sticking out from between your…oops!..never mind. Umm…nice boots! Thigh-highs really show off your legs.
I wouldn’t worry too much even if he is everything he seems to be - after all, he hasn’t gotten any in what, ten years? Women can’t like it that much
Sorry DB… but I’ll be damned if my first post in the pit is something nice and cozy, I don’t care who the fuck I’m talking about.
Thanks! I wore them just for the occasion. Now, if you mention that strap-on one more time, I’m going to make you sorry.
Is this the part where I run through the thread nekkid?
I’m actually wearing clothes for a change. Oh wait, this is the Pit. I’m actually wearing clothes, you shit eating monkey. And why have the past 8 posts each had a “:D” somewhere in them? Mmm, make that 9 now.
You figured me out
And of course this “pitting” by me turned into a niceness fest. After all… who can fault one who loves sex so much?