I was watching a really horrible made-for-tv movie about the Monkees on Wednesday night. It was so bad I felt uncomfortable that I sat through so much of it- but that’s not why I’m writing.
On VH1, right before this abomination, there was a Behind the Music about the Monkees.
They all look so OLD now-
Except for Davy. He is- what, 55 years old? Did anyone see this show? He looks about 30!
What is up with this? I have noticed that in the old Monkees shows he looks like he’s a little boy, and I read somewhere that he is only 5’3".
So my question is this:
Is there some abnormality in his pituitary gland functioning? Wouldn’t that explain the height and failure to experience puberty until age 35?
Or is there some other physical reason that this man doesn’t grow or age?
Ask Dick Clark.
He’s Dick Clarks fraternal twin.
Dick Clark would know
TC…wow!
An exact simupost!
cool.
I’m sorry if it’s a dumb question…
but I don’t get it-
did Dick Clark say this exact thing to Davy once?
Or do you mean that Dick Clark doesn’t age?
I’m a young 'un, please clue me in.
Through miracle of surgery or drugs or witchcraft…
Dick Clark does not age.
He looks 30??? Goddamn, I’m about to turn 30, and I sure as hell hope I don’t look that old.
Davy Jones does look pretty good. People say that Dick Clark doesn’t age, but too me he looks like death warmed over, super-tight face-lift skin, false teeth, no way he is America’s Eternal Teenager or whatever it is that he is supposed to be.
Did anyone ever see this parody/salute to “American Bandstand” a few years back? The host was interviewing these 70 year olds that were supposed to be the original AB dancers. Then he showed them a clip from a recent AB show. They all asked, “Is Dick’s son hosting now?”, and were shocked to discover it was the same man.
“It can’t be! He looks exactly the same!”
FWIW, Davy Jones was the youngest of the Monkees. He was only 19 at the time, which makes him 52 now. Also, Tork and Dolenz did a LOT of drugs and boozing after the show went off the air. That stuff tends to age you a bit faster.
towards the end of the nineteen-forties, the u.s. government made great strides in the field of robotics. over the course of five years, our knowledge, both theory- and engineering-wise, grew by leaps and bounds. an intra-governmental committee created Project GENUS to collate all of this information and experience.
Soon thereafter, GENUS’ first child was born: Dick Clark. He was a G250, the first human simulacrum. And he was quickly unleashed on the airwaves.
Flash forward ten years. GENUS, having had too much power concentrated in one place, had been split into two competing factions- QUIZNO and SBARRO. When QUIZNO soon jumped into the lead with it’s new innovation, an achievement which left SBARRO in the dust: the accent. Their cockney jockey model, Bowie3000, charmed the aforementioned intra-governmental committee with its rhyming slang, and QUIZNO got scads more funding. Oh, also Bowie3000 broke into the SBARRO laboratories by smashing through steel-reinforced concrete wall after steel-reinforced concrete wall, and crushed the skulls of SBARRO’s scientists. This bug was later fixed (but not before Davy Jones, aka Bowie3000v2, crushed the skull of the ‘fifth’ monkee Pete Best (man that guy just couldn’t win), prompting the hiring of Mike Nesmith).
QUIZNO is still a powerful force to this day. You could see its propaganda arm’s influence in the TV movie. for instance, ‘Davy Jones’ pretty much appeared out of nowhere. come on, he just happened to already be under contract by screen gems? all the rest of the fellows have adequate backstory, but you expect me to believe SCreen Gems was employing random cockneys with an odd proclivity for skull-crushing? and why did they insist on showing us davy’s father? none of the other monkees’ parents were shown. it was as if they were trying to prove something.
anyway, that’s why jones and clark look so much alike. folks, it’s all out there on the internet. why don’t you just learn to use a search engine or something?
jb
p.s.- in VH1’s movie, you could see a KeanuTron model 2 playing peter tork. scary, huh?
Actually, both Dick Clark and Davy Jones have portraits of themselves in their respective attics, that show them as really old, decrepit, dust-fartin’ guys…
I think its just plain good genes, or maybe a combination of clean living and good genes. I think Olivia Newton-John is pushing 90 now, and she’s still totally hot.
Although decent genes, a good plastic surgeon, and excellent makeup artists have provided Dick Clark with the ability to look a little bit younger than his actual age, the joke has simply developed a life of its own that continues long after its source has been lost.
Dick Clark had a youthful appearance even before the surgery. He was hosting teen shows beginning in the 1950’s. In the early 1970’s, people remarked on a couple of occasions that he looked younger than some of the performers that he had hosted 15 years earlier. From there, the joke became a “hook” for any stand-up comedian. It has now been told for so long, that he has aged to the point where it makes no sense, but it will probably be told at his funeral. (If he ever has a funeral, considering that painting in the attic.)
and then there’s the Gary Larson cartoon, where Dick ages 40 years instantaneously on a talk show.
Personally I think Peter aged the best, Davy looks old to me, and ugly, he use to be so cute…