What the hell do I do? HE split for the other side of the country, and started a new life. I didnt cut him off, or restrict his visits in any way. HE chose to stop supporting his kids (I didnt tell the kids) HE chooses to blow off birthdays and xmas without a call - he hasnt spoken a word to them since MAY! (I had let him and his new g-friend take the boys for the weekend, even though he hadnt paid support in a couple of months, or called the kids for months prior to his visit)
Even his parents seldom bother with the kids.(twice a year)
I have been as nice and as accommodating as I can be, thinking that at least they wont be able to blame me…
My youngest (5 yrs) still asks for him:
“I want my daddy”
“Sorry, I cant help you, I dont have your daddy”
“I miss him.”
“I know, but I still cant help you.”
“I want him.”
“Its ok to want him, but there is nothing I can do.”
“But I want him!! Whaaaaaaaaaa”
I finally had to tell him not to talk about him around me or my oldest(9yrs) anymore. Probably not the best way to deal with it, but my older son gets really mad, and hateful when frankie does this - what else can I do? I cant make the man care! I feel bad for frankie’s pain, but to let him express it over and over again just hurts my other child, and we all end up the worse for it.
I hate this! If I tell the kids what a useless bastard their dad is, I am a bad person - even if what I tell them the truth! If I sheild them from the hurtful truth that their dad doesnt want them anymore, then he can swoop in years from now and be a heroe!!
My youngest looked at me recently and told me : “if you got a step-dad, that would be good”
He wants a father. And my poor older son - I doubt he has enough trust in him to allow another man into his life.
I wish, with all my heart that absentee parents could see what harm they do! I dont care about the damn money!! Just call the kid once a month so they dont feel so worthless.
No matter how much I love them, or what I do for them, I can never give them back what they have lost.
I have pretty much given up on ever getting any support from him, and I actually worry if I manage to find him, and the courts collect from him - he might show another breif interest in the kids again… causing more harm. So I dont look for him anymore…
My youngest stutters. Sometimes not at all for days, then on a cartoon (for example), someone mentions their dad, and he cant talk right for days. He was out sliding over xmas break and a vicious little bitch in our neighboorhood was teasing him about having no father. He has been stammering ever since. He also wont play outside anymore.
If I could make that bastard feel even a fraction of the pain he has caused my kids, I would give my right arm!
Kricket, what should I do?