Dear Abby...

[Manatee]

@Mr.Niceguy

Dear Abby,

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew
Cover it with choc’late and a miracle or two ?

Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh
Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie ?

Oh, who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream
Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream ?
Shalom

Dear Shalom,

Boy, that’d take a real policy Wonk to figure out. But whoever could do all of that must think it’s good.

–Abby

[Manatee]

@astorian

Dear Abby,

  I know this is hard to believe, but I took my girlfriend Susie to the drive-in. Well, the movie was kind of boring, and we dozed off. Well, next thing you know, we wake up and it's 4 AM.

  All the kids at school think we went all the way, and they're pointing at Susie, saying "Oooh la la!"

  What are we gonna tell her mama? What are we gonna tell her pa?

                                        -Phil in Kentucky

Dear Phil,

It looks like you (and little Susie) goofed again.

–Abby

[Manatee]

@Annie-Xmas

Dear Abby: What’s love got to do with it? What’s love but a second hand emotion? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken–Ida Mae Bulloch in Mississippi

Dear Ida Mae,

That’s what happens with the typical male. Next time, only go out with the best. Then you won’t have to fight anymore.

–Abby

[Manatee]

@Biffy the Elephant Shrew

Dear Abby,

I can’t seem to face up to the facts. I’m tense and nervous, and I can’t relax. Qu’est-ce que c’est???

DB from CBGB

Dear DB,

You sound psycho, killer.

–Abby

[Manatee]

@TellMeI'mNotCrazy

Dear Abby,

I had a girl, and Donna was her name. When she left me, I never was the same. Oh I love my girl…

Where can she be?

Signed,

Richie V.

Dear Richie,

Come on and go with me to find her. The plane’s waiting…

–Abby

[silenus]

Dear Abby -

I met her in a Kingstown bar. We fell in love I knew it had to end. We took what we had and we ripped it apart.

BS from Jersey

[Manatee]

@silenus

Dear Abby -

I met her in a Kingstown bar. We fell in love I knew it had to end. We took what we had and we ripped it apart.

BS from Jersey

Dear BS,

You sound as if you have a heart that can’t be satisfied, as if it’s always hungry. Do you want to keep going back to Kingstown again?

–Abby

[LeeshaJoy]

Dear Abby,

What do I do when my love is away?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you’re on your own?

–Longing in Liverpool

[Manatee]

@LeeshaJoy

Dear Abby,

What do I do when my love is away?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you’re on your own?

–Longing in Liverpool

Dear Longing,

It’s at times like these that you really need a little help from your friends.

–Abby

[Mr.Niceguy]

Dear Abby,

Would you lay with me in a field of stone?
If my needs were strong would you lay with me?
Should my lips grow dry would you wet them dear?
In the midnight hour if my lips were dry?

Sincerely,
Short on Cash

[cornflakes]

Dear Abby,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and we have a good thing going… perhaps too good. It’s incredible how emotionally in touch we are with each other. It’s almost as if we are telepathic! If I get lonely and feel like I’ve had enough, I get this feeling that she is thinking of me, and I can’t tell you how much it comforts me. Likewise, there are times when she gets lonely and she wants to be with me, and I’ll rush to her side. We’ve joked at times that we don’t need a phone.

I’m beginning to wonder though if our love is beginning to border on obsession. The other night, I found myself driving in my car, speeding down the road at four thirty and on to sunrise. As I passed the other cars, listening to the radio play an old Brenda Lee song and then the morning news, I felt like I was hypnotized (I’m sure that it was just the lack of sleep, but at one point I even thought that I heard Gene Krupa doing a rock and roll drum solo.) All I could think of was this line in the sky that my girlfriend and I seem to share.

Is our relationship obsessive? I would hate to see my baby get lonely and I’d miss her comfort if we broke up, but I’m afraid that this relationship will burn out, leaving us like a rock band that has one or two hits and then fades into obscurity.

–Golden Earring

[TellMeI_mNotCrazy]

@cornflakes

Dear Abby,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and we have a good thing going… perhaps too good. It’s incredible how emotionally in touch we are with each other. It’s almost as if we are telepathic! If I get lonely and feel like I’ve had enough, I get this feeling that she is thinking of me, and I can’t tell you how much it comforts me. Likewise, there are times when she gets lonely and she wants to be with me, and I’ll rush to her side. We’ve joked at times that we don’t need a phone.

I’m beginning to wonder though if our love is beginning to border on obsession. The other night, I found myself driving in my car, speeding down the road at four thirty and on to sunrise. As I passed the other cars, listening to the radio play an old Brenda Lee song and then the morning news, I felt like I was hypnotized (I’m sure that it was just the lack of sleep, but at one point I even thought that I heard Gene Krupa doing a rock and roll drum solo.) All I could think of was this line in the sky that my girlfriend and I seem to share.

Is our relationship obsessive? I would hate to see my baby get lonely and I’d miss her comfort if we broke up, but I’m afraid that this relationship will burn out, leaving us like a rock band that has one or two hits and then fades into obscurity.

–Golden Earring

Dear GE,

I gotta tell you, this is definitely putting blips on my radar, Love.

[Lamia]

Dear Abby,

We were out on a date in my daddy’s car, we hadn’t driven very far. There in the road, straight ahead, a car was stalled – the engine was dead.

I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right. I’ll never forget the sound that night. The screaming tires! The busting glass! The painful scream that I heard last.

Where, oh where can my baby be?

(signed)

-She Didn’t Even Kiss Me Goodbye

[Polycarp]

Dear Abby,

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Liverpudlian

[Chefguy]

@Polycarp

Dear Abby,

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Liverpudlian

Dear Liver:

Just try not to sing out of key, mmkay? Abby (Road)

[Chefguy]

Dear Abby:

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas; just like the ones I used to know. Please help.

• Der Bingle

[Sternvogel]

@Chefguy

Dear Abby:

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas; just like the ones I used to know. Please help.

• Der Bingle

Dear Der,

And I suppose while you’re at it, you’d also like to swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar, and be better off than you are. There’s never been such a day in Beverly Hills, L.A., so quitcherbellyachin’! – Abby

[TeaElle]

@Lamia

Dear Abby,

We were out on a date in my daddy’s car, we hadn’t driven very far. There in the road, straight ahead, a car was stalled – the engine was dead.

I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right. I’ll never forget the sound that night. The screaming tires! The busting glass! The painful scream that I heard last.

Where, oh where can my baby be?

(signed)

-She Didn’t Even Kiss Me Goodbye

Dear She Didn’t Even Kiss Me Goodbye –

I’m sorry, you should’ve been informed by the hospital. Raramedics on the scene and doctors in the ER were unable to revive your girlfriend. They attempted CPR for nearly one hour and administered many resusitative drugs, but they were unable to revive her, and she died.

Your sweetie’s father, the Reverend Smith, asked me to exhort you to try to lead as exemplary a life as your dearly departed sweetheart, so that you can join her in eternal reward when your time on earth has drawn to a close.

@Manatee

Dear Chrissy A.,

Always remember to tell yourself that you’re beautiful.

No matter what they say?

[as_u_wish]

Dear Abby:

I a fine girl, I’d make a good wife. Even though I work as a cocktail waitress in this lousy dive at the edge of town. My boyfriend’s a sailor. Last year he gave me a necklace (made of finest silver from the south of Spain), but he seems to have a problem with commitment. Should I dump him or keep waiting?

Heartbroken in Port City,

Brandy

[Zoe]

Dear Abby:

There’s someone in my head but it’s not me.

Brain Damaged in Nashville