Dear Neighbor, PLEASE PARK IN REAR. Thank you (or, Welcome to Yuppietown, USA)

Sure - if it’s German, it’s an ego extension. For penis extensions, it’s got to be Italian.

Jesus, people… if you don’t like HOAs, don’t move into a neighborhood that has one. It’s not that damned difficult to ask up front for the HOA bylaws. If they want to sell you a house, they’ll cough up the HOA bylaws damned quick, well before you even make an offer on the house. There are lots of details to look after when buying a house, which is why you should always be represented by Realtor (almost always free to the buyer).

Suppose your Sebring was a 1972 Winnebago, jacked up on blocks and hooked up to the garden hose. You’d be kissing the HOA’s ass to take care of this eyesore. Granted, if there’s no bylaw against parking up front (there probably isn’t; that one’s not that common), the neighbor can fuck off. If there is, then move your damned car.

An HOA is the most direct form of democracy (after the builder turns it over to resident management), with everyone getting a vote in all matters, and majority rules.

If you break the HOA bylaws, you’re fucking me over, even if just a little. I moved into a neighborhood with an HOA to protect my home’s values. Yes, I have called several times to complain about neglected properties in my neighborhood (seriously neglected, not “oops, I didn’t weed garden bed this week”). Yes, they have taken care of it damned quick. Try getting that kind of respond out of the city.

  1. Find out who did it.

  2. Park your car in their back yard.

  3. When they get all pissy, say “Hey, I thought it was an invitation.”

  4. When they ask you to move it, do at least 4 or 5 reverse donuts on their back lawn.

I agree that if it is an HOA rule, then the OP knew what he was getting into. However, I find it impossible to understand the mentality that would produce a desire to live in such a micro-managed vanilla environment.

If I want to paint my house with pink polka dots I damn well don’t expect the neighbors to complain and if they want to keep goats in their front yard I won’t complain. The alternative is situation I have with some of my friends, in that I have parked their car is in the driveway or I can’t distinguish their home from any other.

If your house is an investment before it is a home I feel sorry for you.

But, again, I agree that if you don’t want to comply with the HOA, then don’t move there. (But keep in mind the experience of a recent friend who considers an HOA to be one step above Communism: he spent six months for a new home and could not find one without an attached HOA.)

you could always find an old “duce and a half” (Army 2.5 ton truck) and park it out front. call it an pice of history.

Jesus. A 97 Sebring is offensive in some way, that’s what it boils down to, right?

Look, people. If it ain’t leaking oil on the street, if it’s drivable, if it’s road legal, and if there are no other legal or otherwise binding regulations: you can park it in the street. Applies everywhere in the world.

People actually leave notes on cars, I know. My parents live in a dead end street. Eight connected houses in a row, public road out front, the houses do not have garages. My uncle, when visiting, once parked outside another neighbours house. When he returned to his car, there was a note saying “please don’t park in front of our house”.
When my father once parked his car and trailer (which he borrowed for some moving work) out front, the trailer was halfway in front of the next door neighbours house.

She came outside and complained about it. Supposedly, the trailer was a “tacky sight”. Mind you, we’re talking an interconnected block of 2 story houses in a late 60’s low to medium budget neighbourhood here. It’s not a ghetto by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not Hollywood either.

People just seem obsessed with having their car RIGHT outside their door. Guess what, you backward smalltowners. I live in Amsterdam, and if I arrive after 20:00 hours, I usually have to park a few STREETS away, not a few houses. Stop whining.

Zappo, What nieghborhood was that? I’ll go drive my beat-up old pickup truck up and down the block. Nothing more amusing than harassing yuppies.

I hate it when all the obvious jokes are already taken…

…But I’ll agree. For the next few weeks, park your car in front. Put the “Dear Neighbor, PLEASE PARK IN REAR. Thank you” note under the windshield with “OKAY, BEND OVER” scrawled at the bottom. Personally, I’d rather live in a casbah run by bikers than in a neighborhood with a homeowners association, but if you like it that’s great.

peeeers at Slacker Hey, you live in Germantown, TN, or Woodside, CA?

Feh. Unless there’s a ‘No Parking’ sign, or a city/county ordinace that a car can’t be parked on the road after a 3" (or whatever) snowfall, and there’s no HOA or city/county law against it, then that note-leaver can take a long walk off a short pier. With concete shoes on.

If you get more of those oh-so-wonderful-notes: I’d ignore them, but keep 'em in a folder, with sticky-notes to mark when they were left. Collect enough of 'em, and you can then show a pattern of harrasment. What fun boys and girls! Trade 'em with your friendly local law enforcement professional! (Or favorite shyster lawyer. Espically if they can show up at your house riding a Harley, and looking like a sterotypical biker.) Woo!

<< Post not scanned for typos. >>

Sounds like you have one hell of a commute…

Nope, I live in a suburb of Dallas, TX.

My in-laws have an old beat up Chevy truck. It’s a real eye-sore. Want me to bring it over? :smiley:

Mr. Grace and I live in Frisco and he hates it when people park in the street. He hates it even more when people park in front of our house. But, he would never leave a tacky note. He’ll just bitch and moan about it inside the house and go on with life.

Once in our old condo, the downstairs neighbor left a note on our door that we walked too heavy and that it sounded like drums when we walked about. Since we knew who sent it, Mr. Grace left him an equally tacky note telling him off and then added that if the neighbor wanted to provide the eggshells, we’d be happy to walk on them. Never had another problem with the neighbor after that.

And, let me further hijack the thread by inviting you to the State Fair. Some of the DFW Dopers are going next weekend.

It’s not necessary to actually spend money on an old heap.

Just go out and find a muddy/dusty road and run back and forth on it. (If it’s dry dusty, wet your car so it sticks better).

Get your car nice and filthy looking. Then park it out front.

Then, follow cornflakes advice about adding the “Bend Over” snip.

Gotta love it. Wish you luck – and keep us posted!!

Ehhh, nah, not one hell of a commute, but those are both places where I’ve been where there’s a large concentration of people of whom (who? never remember which word to use when) will drown if it rains. (“We don’t do those kinds of things here in Germantown,” said to someone moving in and had their boxes stacked up neatly in the carport until they could sort them out better.) :rolleyes:

And while I’m thinking on it: photocopy the note, and plaster them all over cars that are parked in your area. :evilgrin: Watch everyone try to track down who wrote it. (I would laugh [sub]all right: chuckle, probably[/sub] if one of the cars you distributed the unsolicited advice to was the person who gave you it to begin with. If you don’t want to save the note, treat it like fruitcake. :slight_smile:

<< You soft rock my world (Arrogant Worms, Celine Dion >>

I’d have said,

But hey, that’s just me.

Zappo??? I dunno how to tell you this man, but talk of those Studebakers has made it all the way to Lee’s Hoagie House over on Cheltenham. :smiley: People talk man, people talk…


Just wanted to add that there can be such a thing as rude parking.

For example, the contractor who lives one house over across the street, and regularly parks his work van in front of the house directly across from mine, rather than in front of his house. This way, he does not have to see it out his windows, I see it all day, and it causes me to be careful when backing out of my driveway. Sure, those are realy minor gripes, but even minor gripes can be annoying when they happen over and over. I asked him once if he could park in front of his house instead. He laughed in my face, said he would, and changed nothing. I’m not going to war about this, but I do consider it rude on his part.

Or in my old house, the guy across the street from me had a large RV trailer parked on the side of his garage for at least 2 years. It was on the far side of his garage from his house so he never saw it. But it was mildly annoying to see “THE INVADER” right out my front bow window day in and day out.

Of course, both of these folk were acting legally, so I had no recourse. And I was aware that these were really minor annoyances in the grand scheme of things.

Not sure where you live, but in the Chicago area, it is no problem finding houses without HOA. Many if not most suburbs, however, prohibit overnight street parking. And many suburbs regulate what type of vehicles you can park in your driveway.

I fully agree, though. Anonymous notes suck. Closest I ever came to that was finding a pile of dog shit on my porch. Not only did I consider that rude, but also ineffective. I always clean up after my dogs, so this asshole was blaming me for someone else’s rudeness. But if someone were really uptight about it and mentioned their concerns politely, I would have steered their property a wide berth.

[snips quote from Cartooniverse]

Heee. Now if only they could have said the same thing in response… (They were new to the area.)

(Under the Blue Moon? Shows how I’m a newbie to the area, haven’t even heard of that place. Blue Plate Cafe, yes, Under the Blue Moon, no.)

And I definately agree with the ‘new money, old prejudices’ bit. It seems to me that the people who throw the most fits about apperances are those who are newly arrived at the idea that ‘gosh, they have money so now they have to have the image to go with it!’. Uggg. Then again, there are always exceptions. (And I would love to be one! Where’s my winning lotto ticket!)

reads over Dinsdale’s post

Heh. Are you sure it was dog shit? (It must be his, his dog is gone!) (Sorry, had that song running through my head today.)

Probably the closest I’ve had to rude parking was when a neighbor kept parking her '8? Volvo too close to the driveway, so we couldn’t get out. Finally told her if she didn’t make sure to leave room for us to safely get out, her car was going to be moved. We didn’t say anything about it being moved by a tow truck… didn’t have problems after that. ('67 Mustang vs. '8? Volvo. Gee, I wonder…)

<< I left the womb for this? >>

*Originally posted by Cartooniverse *

Really, Cartooniverse? I’d offer you a ride the next time I come down to visit my folks but neither of 'em are running. But I can meet you for an Italian Cheltenham with my Fleetwood or my Custom Cruiser wagon (fake wood on the sides and all!) when I’m there again.


Frankford born, Rhawnhurst raised

If you find out who left it, simply return the note to him with the word “my” strategically placed.

Whenever I hear of an ultrayuppie neighborhood like that, I feel an urge to call up all my male African-American friends and get them to drive around the neighborhood a few times reeeeeally slowly. I could hide somewhere and watch the blinds close.

Dr. J

Sounds like you’ve just got yourself an asshole for a neighbor. Maybe we should make assholes register like sex offenders so we can look them up on the internet.
As to the general dislike for home owners associations I will defend them a little. I dislike when HOAs try to control every minute detail of the neighborhood or they refuse to change rules that pose an actual danger to the neighborhood.

For example in Plano, Texas during the late 80’s or early 90’s several homes with wood roof shingles caught fire. It was determined that the roof shingles increased the risk of a house catching fire. But when people switched to other shingles the HOAs in west Plano attempted to sue the homeowners.

On the other hand I’d also enjoy having some recourse if my neighbor decides to park his car with no tires on his front lawn for 2 years.


Dinsdale, I know where you’re coming from. My across-the-street neighbour insists on parking his work truck right outside my bedroom window. He gets up and goes to work at 6:00 am every weekday (guess how I know what time he leaves!); most days he tosses tools and stuff in the back of his truck and slams the tailgate shut before gunning his old truck and roaring off. I have seriously considered leaving a note on his truck; something to the effect of “If you need to make this much noise this early, could you please park outside your OWN bedroom window?”, but, unfortunately, he has as much right as anyone to park on the street. At least he finally got the muffler fixed. :rolleyes: