Dude, it’s the Pit. You have nothing to apologize for here.
For many people who kill themselves, the pain is exactly about others. They feel that their loved ones will be better off without than with them; this is actually a view that’s espoused and even touted as some sort of beautiful sacrifice by some writers (makes me sooooo stabby!); the RL cases I know were people who had been recently diagnosed with either a bad-sounding illness (the big C is a favourite) or a mental illness; it seems to be commonish also in people with depression.
Apologies for yelling at you, Claude, can I propose a pillowfight to blow steam off instead?
The most glass-half-full thing to say about that is, it could be worse . . . There have been times and cultures where a woman who had been raped would be expected to kill herself; it would be the only decent and honorable thing to do. (Sometimes even a heroic thing – see the story of Lucretia. Shakespeare wrote a poem about it.) Few such cultures exist any more. Progress exists . . . sometimes you have to squint to see it. But there are still places where “honor killings” are done, may that come to an end for good and all in our lifetime.
None of which sociohistorical commentary does your friend any good, of course. Just do what everybody else in this thread has said: Be there for her, and don’t let her think she’s in any way “ruined,” and try not to think any more than you can help it about the brute who did this to her – he is not your problem or hers, not any more.
Depression can make you think that you’re a liability to other people in your life, that they’d be better off if they didn’t have you around to deal with. Claude’s wife and best friend may have really thought they were doing him a favor by getting such a worthless person out of his life. It’s not true, but it’s the kind of distorted thinking you can get from a mental illness like depression.
Some depressed people also have low self-esteem. If you tell them they’re being selfish, they’ll just think “that’s one more reason why I am a bad person”. Probably not the result you were trying for.