Dear self...

What the FUCK is wrong with you?? WHY do you ALWAYS get so attached to guys --so-- easily? Especially the ones that you know you will never have a chance in HELL with. WHY does it depress you so damn much when you finally get told in a very straightforward way that you’re not worthy of the guys you like?

You met this guy twice. On the second meeting, which was your first real date, you slept with him. Mistake number one. Sure, it was awesome at the time, but were you CONSIDERING how awkward you might have been making the situation for him? You KNEW he was a virgin with high morals, and that he wasn’t ready for this. You told yourself all night that nothing would happen, and it did.

And now, when he tells you that it was an “experience,” but he feels no real feelings for you at this point, why are you depressed? Why does it bother you, when you knew it was coming?

Why do you always see these things coming from miles and miles away, but never do anything to avoid or stop them?

Why can’t you just GET OVER certain guys, rather than get so wrapped up in and attached to them? Sure, you actually found a normal, sane guy this time, who just happens to be perfect in every way, but you probably fucked it up. No, more than that, you HAD to have fucked it up.

Why do you do this shit? Why can’t you be normal?


Oh yes. I had to get that off my chest.

Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself. Unless you knocked this guy out and tied him up, he is partly at fault for the sex thing.

And, IMHO, someone who sleeps with a person so quickly without having “feelings” for them probably does not have such high morals as all that, unless he made it quite clear before the sex that he was only in it for the experience. Actually, he sounds like he is inexperienced in the ways of relationships, and that is not your fault.

In other works – I don’t think you fucked anything up. You just had a bad thing happen. I hope you start feeling better soon.

Well, fuck you very much.

Don’t forget the end of that sentence, matt. Or does it still offend you? All I meant was, if you are having casual sex and giving someone else the impression that you do not have sex lightly, it’s not gonna score moral points with me. It is misleading.

Buck up, Civil Defense. I still do the same thing (just not with virgins anymore) and I’m almost 40. As for going after guys you can’t have, I’ve dated women in their early-to-mid-20s lately. What am I thinking? They don’t give a damn that I have a 30 year mortgage on a 3-bedroom house! They want a young loser, I mean, bad boy! Not a guy who’s 15 years older than them! Actually, I have no idea what they want, it just isn’t necessarily me!

You’re not the only person who gets too emotionally invested too soon. Take it easy on yourself. You’ll do OK. Hell, I will too eventually.

FWIW, I suspect Civil Defense is going to be on everyone’s lips shortly :frowning:


Well, recognizing a problem is the first step towards fixing it. :stuck_out_tongue:

But seriously, why beat yourself up any more? There are a lot of men in the world, and a lot of good men. There is nothing you can do bad enough to blow it with every good man you might ever meet for the rest of your life. Regarding the “getting attached too early” and “having sex too soon” themes, it sounds to me like you crave intimacy for some reason. This might be indicative of a greater problem, like feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, immaturity, or low self-esteem.
As for being “told in a very straightforward way that you’re not worthy of the guys you like,” well, that’s just bullshit. Nobody is inherently “better” or “more worthy” than you. having said that, it’s still a truism that you can’t change anybody’s behavior except your own. It would be much better to figure out who YOU are, and what YOU want, than to spend any time thinkin about somebody else saying you are “not worthy.”

And I agree with the earlier poster who said this guy couldn’t be that moral. I mean, was he praying “Please God, don’t let me sin!” while he was fucking you? He may just be a very clever player. Either way, he’s not who he says he is if he screwed a girl on the second date. MOST guys would do that, except the ones with “high morals.”