I am such a bitch.

I know this guy.

He’s intelligent and has a great deal of common sense. Unlike most guys his age, he thinks getting wasted every other night is stupid and he refuses to do any type of recreational drug.

He’s hilarious, and our sense of humor meshes surprisingly well. We crack each other up all the time.

He plays the guitar, wants to start his own band, and loves the same pop-punk music I do. Though writing isn’t his main priority, he’s skillful and incredibly creative when he does do it.

We stay up late playing DiabloII and making fun of each other for dying. We obsess about video games together.

He’s amazingly good looking. Somehow he embodies almost everything I’m attracted to in a guy – though sometimes, I’m not sure which came first. Am I attracted to him because he has my ideal male looks? Or are they my ideal looks because he has them?

I have a nasty feeling I have a crush on him.


He’s also dating my best friend. God damn.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to stop thinking about him.

Sorry for inflicting this rather pathetic rant on y’all… I just needed to get it out of my system. :frowning:


You are such a bitch!

Just kidding. If you’re CONFUSED by the chicken-or-the-egg situation, it hardly matters. I am exactly the same way. The girl I have been nuts about for several years now had what I thought was the strangest face when I first saw her, but it quickly became the face I compared every other girl to in my mind’s eye.

I thought you were going to say something you did that was nasty, like you stole him away from your best friend, or is that next week?

Good luck


Heh. No, I’d never do that. The girl who’s dating this guy is a really close friend, and it would totally destroy our friendship, obviously. In my opinion, no guy is worth that, not even this one. Besides, it’s not like he would take me. They’ve been dating for quite a while, and he’s not the kind to cheat.

I realize you were being somewhat facetious (probably) but it’s a tender issue for me. I really feel like a complete bitch for just having these feelings about him at all. If I actually did something I’d probably equate myself on par with um… uh… some really evil person. Sorry, my mind went blank there. :o I should get to bed.


You’re not a bitch for having feelings. If your feelings get control of you, then you might be one, but you’re still safe. It’s very cool that you have good friends. That’s the conflict you’re feeling though, huh. If you weren’t such good friends, you wouldn’t feel bad.

Feelings are not actions.

I don’t completely subscribe to this theory by (I believe) Woody Allen (yuch) , but it’s something to keep in the back of your mind because there is some truth to it:

“Women become sexually attracted to men they fall in love with, Men fall in love with women they’re sexually attracted to”

That makes sense; I’m a butch dike in a man’s body by birth (and happy with that). Woody Allen is sometimes creepy, but what makes him funny is that he knows exactly what it is about him that makes him that way. One of the greatest comedy writers ever.

Hmmm. Let me be cynical for a minute and try to figure out what is reallllly going on.
It sounds like you are spending a lot of time together. Is that by accident? What is the possibility that he is:

attracted to you vs.

not attracted and just wants to be friend, vs.

can sense you are attractecd to him and wants you to want him?

What does your girlfriend say about how he treats HER?
One women guy or what?
Not suggesting you should pounce girlfriend man. Just hoping he’s not playing you. I just don’t remember spending a lot of time with girlfriends boyfriends unless there was a little chem on both sides. If not chemistry then motive.
Hope I havent’ read it wrong or offended you–you’re obviously a considerate person.

I can’t help but say, if they aren’t engaged or married, “All is fair in love and war” But good to scope situation.

No, no,no,no, noonononono, NO! No.

You don’t ever want to be that girl.

Ever, ever, evereverevereverever, ever.

You want my advice?

It’s crappy advice, I warn you. You won’t wanna take it. But it you’re anything like me, it might work.

Run away now.

Before you develop a solid crush on him, which is very hard to make go away, stop seeing him. He is unavailable, and you know that, and I know that, and he knows that. You need to make it stop to prevent yourself getting more hurt later.

Response to asinine comment 1: “Fine. When’s the operation?”

Response to asinine comment 2: “Soft butch. Maybe.”

Response to asinine comment 3: No response, just wait for the justifiably offended lesbian contingent to descend on you, and try to avoid the bloodspatters.

Here’s what you should do. Wait until your friend and the guy are having sex. Casually walk into the room in your underwear and say something like “you two look like you could use an extra hand”. (The idea being that the three of you will get it on). Let me know how it works out.