How do LCD christmas lights work?
You plug them in and switch on. If they still don’t work, consider reading the instructions.
Does vanilla extract need to be in a dark bottle?
Do you need to be on the short bus?
Why Do Clouds Form Regular Patterns?
Because they’re obsessive-compulsive. Obviously.
Weapons on Mars?
Yes, otherwise there’ll be nothing to stop the King of England from coming into your house and ordering you around.
Why was Bill Clinton called Bill ?
Because calling him Daphne would have been retarded.
why can’t my laptop see my shared main networked computer?
It’s an inanimate object, it doesn’t have any organs of sight. Duh.
Is there enough to go around?.
No. Give me your share. Now!
What will REALLY happen when the world actually runs out of oil?
Its temperature gauge will go way into the red, it’ll squeak horrendously and emit an ass-load of evil-smelling smoke from both Poles, and then grind to a halt.
Do we really have an interest in a democratic government in Iraq?
Yes, we want them to freely and of their own volition vote in a pro-American government that will export us lots of really cheap oil.
What are your favorite webcomics?
Spiderman
Stan Freberg in Rudolph?
Guess Santa won’t be bringing that dirty devil any presents, then.
Blow torch recipes?
You can, but it makes them hard to read when they’re reduced to a cinder.
Who loves/hates their sewing machine?
A total loser without a warm, breathing human to love or hate.
**Do you “get” gift cards? **
Sometimes. And sometimes I “give” them instead.
What feels better: a good bowel movement or sex?
It’s all context. When you’re in bed with the hottie from the typing pool, it is important not to get this one wrong as you may jeopardise both the relationship and the bedsheets.
Are You a Member of the Fruit of the Month Club?
No, but the question is telling me that you are.
Died alone in a hotel room?
Not yet, but thanks for the kind thought.