Sarcastic Answer Theatre : Apocalypse

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Didn’t see any game threads on the first page of MPSIMS, and this is… only kinda, sorta a game thread anyway.

Is it possible to prevent someone from downloading a Word file?

Yes. Don’t put it on the internet.

**The Ultimate Question for a Creationist? **

“Why?”

**Weed Smokin’ neighbors - course of action? **

Mellow out.

What Would Be the Opposite of “Jumping the Shark”?

In Soviet Russia, Shark jumps you.

Poll: When Should Kids Stop Trick-or-Treating?

When they’ve run out of houses.

Does the Koran really promise Islamic martyrs 72 virgins?

Adjusted for inflation, that’s only a skank and a half.

I Am Legend: What do you think?

Might be a little over-the-top for the title of your autobiography.

What condition prevents you from seeing things that are RIGHT THERE?

Conservativism.

What’s the science behind imagination?

Imagineering.

How do you slow down your colony ship?

I like to take things down a notch with a little Easy Listening, some Barry White…

2

What is the best way to charge an ipod?

Visa

3

Who can best understand Beowulf?
Probably his mom, I’m betting.

You donate a kidney to a friend. They die. Would your body accept it back?
I think I’d have to insist on a receipt.

A classic science demo revisited - what holds the water in?
The sides of the glass, dumbass.

Is it possible to localize data on the surface of a CD?
Yes, it’s right in that little spot there.

Most distantly related people on earth?
Your parents. Oh wait, you said distantly.

Fingertips split or crack at work – why?
Maybe you shouldn’t put sandpaper on your keyboard.

4

You donate a kidney to a friend. They die. Would your body accept it back?
Depends on what my friend did with it in the mean time. Otherwise, just keep it.

What if Deep Blue played itself? (Chess)
It’d be in the bathroom all day, giving new meaning to Polishing the Bishop.

Most distantly related people on earth?
Me and my mother-in-law, apparently.

What condition prevents you from seeing things that are RIGHT THERE?
Closed eyelids.

Please ID the language in this text.
English. Next!

Best area of the law for someone in it for the money?
Theft.

What happens to a ballon when you let it go…
If I knew what a ballon was, I might be able to help you.

5

Ok, this is too fun.

Groundbreaking exams
Lower GI?

Reality of Indiana Jones-type booby traps
Quite real, look at Alison Doody.

6

I read this as “Does the Korean…,” and for some reason I found that hysterical.

7

Bush is right about Turkey

Like father, like son – not afraid to take a stand on foods!

8

Is this a vanity plate?
No, it’s a thread title.

Going as a French maid for Halloween?
Nope

I buried my ex-girlfriends dog today.
Please tell me it was at least dead when you did it.

Who moved my Jaffa Cake?
Mmmf mfmffmm mmfmf

Criticize Ron Paul
You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny!

Can we make any educated guesses on what an Alien life form would look like?
Yes

Can a Sin produce a Pleasure?
If it’s done right.

The Ethics of Spying on Your Nanny
It’s unethical if she’s in the shower

**Handicap the GOP nomination race **
Make them all take polygraph tests

**Evidence for the Bible **
I found one in a hotel room

**Agnosticism is goofy. **
No. This is Goofy

Help a Dr. Who Virgin have a good first time
Let him take you into the back of the Tardis.