If he spent $100 on weed, would you feel better about it?
$1000 in how long was that again? I’m not going back to the beginning to reread. Weed is expensive nowadays. He may be the one buying for his friends to share if he’s the one with a job and money. $25 /week doesn’t seem too awful.
Of course. Because if he had spent only $100 over 10 months, clearly he wouldn’t have been smoking as much.
Knowing that he had such a lot of money and didn’t see it as a problem to spend it all on weed is disturbing to me. And to the therapist. No control, as she says.
10 months.
He was only smoking with his brother.
And on own. I suspect more on own.
Hence the $1000
I thought weed was not that expensive. I’m not sure tho. We’re in NY. Still illegal. So I don’t know going rate for weed or the THC carts that we found too
Yeah, I’m sure he totally wasn’t brow-beaten into admitting it, at all.
Would you have been bothered less if he’d spent less and thus smoked less?
p.s.: I really can’t tell if you take what the therapist says out of context to justify your own position, or if this is a seriously shit therapist who is doing you a huge disservice by making things worse for you and your family.
If he had smoked less, I might be less likely to believe it’s become an addiction. Psychological or otherwise.
He hasn’t used since middle of December.
So probably more psychological than physical.
But he must have been using a lot last year.
Younger son loves our family dog very much. Sleeps with him nightly. Primary caretaker.
He chose to swear on the dog’s life that he would not smoke weed again.
I’m a bit nervous for the dog. He’s 7 years old.
What will probably happen is that he continues doing it but you will never know about it. Because he knows you will freak out. He is getting to the age where you won’t know everything that’s going on, and that’s how it is supposed to be.
Ok, thanks for confirming that.
That’s his future.
Do you see what you just did?
I say this without a shred of intended insult: Get proper therapy for yourself from a real therapist, not this social worker you’ve been seeing. Don’t drag your kids to the therapist with you. Go alone. Get treatment. You’re not well.
Yes. The therapist sees it. Even posters acknowledge they will keep on with it.
Other than continuously testing them to see if they have it in their systems, I can never trust them again
Yeah, it really tore the family apart. Including their dad (who you all like) - he was just as disappointed.
But that will not deter them from smoking the crap.
:smack:
It’s like talking to a brick wall.
What I’m getting from you is that I should just accept that my teenage sons are doing drugs
That they will most likely to continue do drugs (look
at kayaker)
And I should keep up loving relationships with them regardless. Despite my misgivings for their health, family relationships, financial (weed seems like a waste of money for someone saving up for a house and/or car one day), motivation etc
Am I right?
nah, why should a mother have a loving relationship with her children?:smack:
No. Because as usual, you’re not actually listening to what ANYONE here is saying.
You hear from a couple of people here who say they continue to smoke weed and still manage to hold down successful lives. Your subsequent take-away is, “They’re still smoking weird, so they’re 100% addicts living on welfare.” Meanwhile, you discount everyone saying they stopped smoking weed years ago.
This is why people are saying you’re a troll. You’re blatantly ignoring what most people are saying. You put your own over-dramatic spin on everything else.
Honestly, stop focusing so much on a damn message board, go to therapy and focus on having a healthy relationship with your sons and your husband.
I don’t have therapy until end of next week which is why I’m venting on this message board.
And you’re right. Some ppl have given it up after youth, but for most part, ppl are still doing it.
Are you willing to put down that dog if your son breaks his promise?
You’re gonna find out soon that you’ll have no control over what your sons ingest. My baby just turned 21yo. I hope she retains some of the things I taught her. But it doesn’t matter, she’s an adult now. If she wants to eat weed infused brownies for breakfast it’s not my call.
You can have all the misgivings you want about your sons weed use. It’s not gonna change the fact that it happened.
If you shut them outta your life, you’re the loser.
You are ridiculous. Use this as a teaching moment. For yourself.
You are vastly mis-informed.
I remember the dark day when my mother caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. It took an axe to our family and then put the pieces into a wood chipper and then cremated the chips in one of those burning trash cans that bums warm their hands with. I begged her for mercy, but the damage was done. Because I was only five years old, out of the dregs of kindness that remained in her curb-stomped heart she allowed me to live in a pup tent at the edge of our property until I was eleven, but we never spoke again.
Ten years ago, after my father left the toilet lid open in the master bathroom, she took her own life. He found her prostrate on the linoleum, her cold fingers still clutching her pearls.
You don’t actually understand what love is. There is not one mote of love in any of the actions or attitudes you have described toward your sons. There’s abuse, and lots of it. But no love.
So I doubt that anyone thinks you should “keep up” a loving relationship with them. The way you come across here, it’s obvious that YOU NEVER HAD ONE with them.
People probably think that you should try to learn how to have a loving relationship with them. But it seems unlikely.