I think it means they’re an Alanis Morrissette fan and you should run far away. 
All I need now is intellectual intercourse, a soul to dig the hole much deeper…
It means “I want a man who actually plans to talk with me and interact with me, rather than just staring into space until the sex part.”
For most people, I think it simply means someone who is curious, intellectually. For others, it is someone else who will listen to them ramble on and be in awe of their intellect.
I always took it as “I want to date someone smarter than I am.” Because, as said above, the person is always of average intelligence.
I wish it just mean that they were intellectually curious. Because that’s all I need–actual intelligence is not as important to me as having a knowledge bent and enjoying learning.
If a woman said something like this to me on a first date or something, then I would just assume her last boyfriend wasn’t into the things she was into. Or he was an idiot.
I’ve had a coworker confide in me that she’d grown bored with her boyfriend because they were on different “intellectual wavelengths”(no, the coworker and I weren’t having an affair). She felt he was uninformed and intellectually lazy.
I’d interacted with the guy and knew the truth: he was a roofer. She was in sales and had time to read or surf the web during her down time. He, on the other hand, spent 10 hours a day in the Texas heat on top of houses and buildings.
Let me tell you something folks, if I’m roofing for 10 hours a day and you try and get me to read the latest book from your book club 30 minutes after I get home, I’ll beat you half to death with that book.
I would never use that line, but for a few weeks I dated a guy who definitely did not provide it: by the end of the second date, I could finish his sentences; I had to dumb down my conversation; he refused to believe that I am interested in Movies Where Things Go Boom with the same earnest puppy-eyed eagerness with which he refused to let me carry the smallest package (“look, it fits in my purse!” “but I have to carry it for you! offended puppy”)…
In other words, I’m used to considering my brain as my most important organ, and it was one which got bored immensely in his presence and which he had no interest in.
Most other people, we can have actual conversations, with a back and forth of ideas and interests: that is intelectual stimulation.
Exactly this :nodding:
The most intellectually stimulating man I’ve ever dated did not hold a college degree. However, I do tend to see a positive correlation between a man reading for fun and his level of intellectual stimulation.
For me, intellectual stimulation means the ability to contribute to a discussion. By discussion I mean anything without a definitive answer, where the discussion comes down to considering various motives, values, and outcomes. I have had some conversations that were, more or less, me making a point and the other person nodding and agreeing. I would then make a counter-point to my own point, and the other person would again nod and agree. But an intellectually stimulating person will be ready with their own counter-point.
This is what I always thought too. A good mind can know many of the answers to questions that come up to some degree, but it should always able to break down the problem it can’t solve and know where to go to get the answer or solution. If you can make the journey that gets that answer
an adventure or a contest or a game… and if you bring the other person along… they might find it fun. And if you make life for your partner more exciting or fun, your quality of life should improve.
I think that this may be what some women may be hinting at wanting, and it seems easy enough to give them this.
Example For example, if you were both in a museum and she asked you, you might not know if the painting in the corner is a Matisse. The person asking might be hinting that they’d like you to both find out, either through book research or possibly taking a course together.
Granted, slicing it quickly out of the frame & checking the news the next day is faster, but generally that is frowned upon.
Oh, and if I’m totally wrong & all she really wanted was for me to kiss her ears harder, my bad. Sorry.
It may well be that this is code for “I date people based on physical attraction, and then I’m dissatisfied that we have so little else in common.”
What are TED videos?
I think that’s a very insightful opinion, actually.
And TED is a delightful rabbit hole of lost time.
Ditto this.
Huh. I’d just check the little plaque next to the painting.
Yes, but I would imagine that the ideal intellectually stimulating person knew at least a bit about neo-Impressionism, and that Matisse was influenced heavily by Van Gogh, and be able to point out the similarities between the two, for example.
Like you say, that’s ideal, but I think it asks too much for someone to already be wholly learned in anything one might come across. It’s certainly very pleasant when it happens, and experience inspires confidence which inspires attraction in turn. But for me the dividing line isn’t between “let me check the plaque” and doing a compare and contrast on Matisse and Van Gogh, but rather between “let me check the plaque” and “who cares?”
Yeah, this.
It’s kind of like if a woman said they were into art. You could assume that a good first date might be to go to the local art museum and stroll about, chatting. If you did, though, you might find out that what they meant by being “into art” is painting cute widdle mouse faces on rocks with grandma.
Ugh. That was a horrible date.
Brilliant!
I think all ‘Intellectual stimulation’ really means is that (a) said person is kindly saying ‘I’m not interested in you’ (maybe nobody for that matter), or (b) they probably just want someone who rides a horse, has black shiny armor, and just slayed a dragon and saved their life in doing so (people, especially women, seem to think life should be a hollywood production with them as the main star 
).
I think most socialized women are looking for a man with not just a mind, but a man’s mind. Alienate her a little. Be analytical, dispassionate, a little wooden. Spout a few business and sports metaphors. Be impassive when she opens up to you - and mean it, because they can spot a faker.
But only keep this up until you think you’re getting interest. After that, you can drop the pretense, and the two of you can enjoy a free and open meeting of minds. It’s just like physical intimacy - you can’t start out wanting it. Be the Other, or you won’t get the chance to be You.
If this were true, I’d be swimming in quim.
I only fall short on the sports metaphors. Perhaps giving my 110% to pitch sports metaphors in the first quarter and pushing forward throughout the inning would raise my batting average?
You’re over doing it. You sound too much like a statistician.
It’s kinda like the old joke about putting a potato in your swim trunks. If you have to be told it goes in front, there’s not much hope for you.