I’ve been thinking about this for the past three days. I’ve recently become reacquainted with an ex. We’ve done a few lunches and seem to be having a lot of fun together. This is causing many fond memories to come flooding back.
Last Thursday he sent me a valentine and wrote “I heart you”. My right brain is doing somersaults at the thought of getting back together. My thoughts are clouded with old warm & fuzzy feelings so I wonder if I’m reading this the way I want to instead of the way it was intended.
Would you ever say “I heart you” on VT day to somebody you had only a platonic interest in?
I don’t know that it makes a difference, but I want to clarify: Did he draw a heart symbol in “I heart you”, or did he literally spell out, “I h-e-a-r-t you?”
I think the latter might be a bit weird, like maybe a deliberate attempt to be vague.
But either way, I agree with spooje. On Valentine’s Day? No way would I do that unless I was ready for lovin’.
Just to confuse things. I still go out with my first ex-wife and we have a non-platonic relationship. We were married 30 years ago. It wouldn’t cross my mind to send her Valentine’s Day pap.
OTOH, he might be feeling warm and fuzzy with partial cloudiness, as well. VD does weird things to people. I’d approach this one cautiously and with lots of talking - with him.
Once I sent flowers and a card on Valentine’s Day to my wife’s mom and sister (in addition to getting some for my wife) when they were both single and weren’t going to get anything from anybody else. I didn’t say “I (heart) you,” though. I said something like “To a really nice mother/sister in law. Love, (me).” I thought they wouldn’t want to feel left out. Later, I wondered if it just made them feel pathetic.
However, writing “I (heart) you” on a Valentine to somebody you had a romantic relationship with seems pretty clearly to be a “Let’s start something up again” message.
I’d proceed carefully from here. It seems like a pretty strong indicator of some interest, but it might have just been the day getting him all mushy-headed. My own impulse would be to try to chill out, not over-analyze it, and just see how he is the next time you guys talk.
“I heart you” sounds like it’s the strongest thing he felt he could safely say. Maybe he started to text “I love you”, though better of it, and changed it to “heart” because it was safer. It has deniability in case you took offense. I bet if he thought of <3 he’d of used that instead. (He probably thought of it as soon as he hit send, and has been kicking himself ever since.)
As to
No, not really, but see my comment about plausible deniability. Actually, the deniability aspect means that you can’t assume you’d get an accurate answer if you asked him directly.
This is what sticks with me. Of course when you see an ex again these feeling come flooding back. Then, if you get back together, all of the reasons that he/she is an ex vs. a “current” come flooding back with a bitter sense of irony.
I can speak for all guys in saying that he wants a piece of nookie and see what happens from there. If it continues, great! If not, then we had awesome, emotionally charged nookie, which is also great! He’s Tony the Tiger right now.
And you are too, in a different way. You are viewing the time that you were with him with nostalgia. Let’s say it was 1997. You are singing the songs, remembering the car you drove, the place you lived, and the movies you watched. It’s called dopamine, and you are high on it.
There was an episode of some Charlie Sheen sitcom (2 and a half men, maybe) where he got a txt msg from a friend with benefits closing with “luv you.” He overanalyzes it and decides to try dating her, she agrees but it goes badly and then they end up not being FWB anymore. She claimed that luv != love.
Of course, it wasn’t on VD and your life isn’t a sitcom, and you hopefully don’t have to hang out with Charlie Sheen. Probably just asking about it is the only way you’ll get any kind of decent info about it, but I’m leaning toward what ZenBeam said. He might have some feelings, but doesn’t want to get back into anything serious, or he might be shy and doesn’t know how to approach it. I agree that the whole VD thing complicates the situation (and usually does rimshot).
