Darn it silenus!
True, but I’m not wearing any of them today.
TNDTP has not taken a shower yet today.
False. Two, one before work and one after my run.
The next poster can bench press more than his or her own body weight.
False, as far as I know. I don’t lift weights.
The next poster has worked at an amusement park.
False.
TNDTP has had more than one user name on the SDMB.
False. I’m still married to my first handle.
TNDTP is participating in the White Elephant exchange on MPSIMS.
False. (However, I have worked at an amusement park.)
The next poster has passed an audition test for Jeopardy!, Millionaire, or other quiz show, but not necessarily been picked to actually appear.
True. The hamsters are almost used to the sheer size new one now, and only choke on every 5th post. 
TNDTP will have his/her mind in the gutter when reading the above statement.
Jesus H. Christ, I can’t win for losing.
Only in my dreams.
TNDTP is killing time before going to sit in traffic on the commute home.
Guilty.
TNDTP knows how to surf (water, not the internet).
False.
TNDTP has never seen a Charlie Chaplin movie (which is sad, IMO).
False. Hell, I own City Lights and *Modern Times *on VHS.
TNDTP has belonged to at least two religions in his or her life.
False – I saw The Gold Rush in a college film history class.
The next poster has never owned an old-time record player.
Is it okay to do a twofer?
False, I have owned an old timey record player.
True, I have belonged to at least two religious, at least the way I figure it.
The next poster has ridden a funicular.
True, while touring Johnstown, Pa.
The next poster has eaten a meal in the White House.
False.
The next poster has not gotten a flu shot yet this year.
True. I’ve never gotten a flu shot, and I’m 45.
TNDTP has been pooped on by a bird.
True, landed square in the middle of my round head.
TNDTP has been a member of the Armed Forces
SGT Schwartz
False. TNDTP owns the entire Calvin and Hobbes collection.
False. I am missing one dang book. (Or the bound uber edition, whichever way you look at it.)
TNDTP has some silverware in their bedroom left over from a meal eaten in said room.
Haha True, do I Ever!!! Not only silverware but tons of old dishes. To the point where I woke up one morning to find a squirrel eating out of one two feet from my face. Sounds gross thinking about it.
The next doper to respond has been see the Outback of Australia.