(Translation, please?)
Everything Is Illuminated: Frodo visits The Old Country
Schindler’s List
“Garden gnome is stolen.”
German factory owner saves Jews.
Minority Report
(There’s no “The” in that movie title)
Cruise fights serious crimes preemptively.
Top Gun
Jerk pilot with daddy issues
Black Sunday
OMFG, blimp pilot goes psycho!
The Blair Witch Project
This topic is AWESOME! 
Regrettably, the deaths are fake.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
Doesn’t have tigers or dragons.
God Told Me To
New York cop hunts sniper
Bruce Almighty
God substitute makes boobs bigger.
Shadow of the Vampire
Is he a real bloodsucker?
The Island (Seventies pirates movie)
No Michael Bay car chases.
Taken
Neeson gets mad, kicks ass.
Funny Games
Watch and ponder your helplessness
The Man Who Would Be King
Big deal: You’re a Mason.
Firestarter
Drew Barrymore thinks, “That’s hot!”
Spaceballs
Druidish Princess has temper tamtrums
Labyrinth
Most prominent character: Bowie’s codpiece
Hudsucker Proxy
Hudsucker Proxy: Capitalism sucks, stupid people rule.
All Quiet on the Western Front
John boy goes to war.
The Good The Bad And The Ugly