My current sig is JDT related, and posting it just makes me feel…icky. So I haven’t been sigging. Please, Dopers, help me find a new sig.
I’ve been wanting to use this one, but can’t bring myself to have this much hope. Don’t know if it’d apply to you, but I really like it, and if I’m not gonna use it, someone should.
Porcupine is, by far, my favorite poster EVER!! Combining charm and wit with a healthy dose of true intelligence, porcupine shines a light into the realm of ignorance that we all would do well to follow. And I’m not just saying this to be quoted in the sig! - Spritle
or
I’m not really a prick.
(or something like that)
:unzips jeans, feels around for a bit, not finding anything resembling a penis. looks down shirt, confirms 38D:
Well, I’m not technically a prick, though my behavior may sometimes indicate otherwise. A heartless bitch, maybe, but definitely not a prick. So I’ll just have to go with the first one. 
If you’re still accepting sig applications, here’s one you may like:
“IMHO, people should not wait for massive disasters to
fuck randomly. But that’s just my thought on the matter…” - Mr. Teapot
I’ve thought about using it, but you’re certainly welcome to it.
Well if you need any more assistance in that “feeling around” business…aww never mind
Try “Illegitimis Non Carborundum: Don’t let the bastards get you down”
Welcome to the boards!
“One of 2 posters officially welcomed to the SDMB (and given a sig) by Gunslinger”
How about:
“Prickly outside, warm and fuzzy inside.”
Whatever you do, I think you should incorporate this column into it. Or at least the line: “Somewhere ahead, a porcupine is screaming.”
Eeeew… porcupine golden showers? Sorry, not into it. Female is only receptive for 8-12 hours a year? Maybe I should change my name, cause I’m thinking it doesn’t really fit.
Here are some liberated taglines I’ve collected over the years. Probably not directly suitable to your situation but amusing anyway.
“In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.” Terry Pratchett
“Tis with our judgements as our watches: None go just alike, yet each believes his own.”
Alexander Pope (1688…1744)
“Breasts are like toy trains. They were intended for children but grown men usually end up playing with them.”
Maybe he was just a gifted nut who was there as a flock of circumstances flew by
Web pages are like babies __ creation involves a level of enthusiasm that does not necessarily carry over into maintenance." __Joe Chew
“By three methods we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
Second,by imitation, which is easiest;
and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”
Confucius
Anyone who isn’t confused really doesn’t understand the situation. Edward R. Murrow
You can catch more flies with a flyswatter than with honey and/or vinegar
Blooms the laurel which belongs
To the valiant chief who fights;
I see the wreath, I hear the songs
Lauding the Eternal Rights,
Victors over daily wrongs:
Awful victors, they misguide
Whom they will destroy,
And their coming triumph hide
In our downfall, or our joy:
Speak it firmly, – these are gods,
All are ghosts beside.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The greater the diameter of your knowledge,
the greater the circumference of your ignorance…”
Good is the enemy of Excellent. Talent is not necessary for Excellence. Persistence is necessary for Excellence. And Persistence is a Decision.
SUPPORT BACTERIA_it’s the only culture some people have.
“To believe in the possibility of liberation,” says Tufts University’s Lee Edelman, “is to believe there is a trapped identity struggling to get out. But it’s not a matter of liberating something that is repressed; it’s a matter of inventing ways of becoming something that has not been. It’s less a matter, in that sense, of coming out than of coming into__and one can’t know in advance what that will be.”
“She didn’t have much upstairs, but Oh what a staircase!” _ Clive James
“God, why do Americans dress so bad? Do they want to look unattractive so they won’t get raped, or what? When did it start?” _Andy Warhol
The tongue is the enemy of the neck _ Arab Proverb
‘You sound like a man who can handle himself in bed. And often does.’ Duckman
“The difference between a successful person and others
is not the lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will.”
_Vince Lombardi
“A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.” __ Max Weinreich
The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
__ John Stuart Mill
“Information is gushing toward your brain like a firehose aimed at a teacup.”
_ Dogbert
Laugh while you can, monkey boy !
Herbert Spencer: “The ultimate result of shielding men
from the effects of folly is to fill
the world with fools.”
“We were once so close to heaven, Peter came out and gave us medals declaring us the nicest of the damned.”
-They Might Be Giants
“Yes, well, of course, that’s just the sort of blinkered philistine pig ignorance I’ve come to expect from you
non_creative garbage.”
The subatomic world, where particles are not solid objects
so much as smears of probability, may seem counterintuitive, even illogical.
Tarlé concludes. “Primordial antimatter is not going to be seen,” he predicts. “It’s like looking for monkeys on the moon.”
“One of the joys of writing is that people appear to be getting a lot more out of my books than I’m actually putting into them” — Kinky Friedman
Bad ideas never die; they become panel discussions
Enjoy your job, work within the law, make lots of money : Choose any two.
“It’s not burnt. It’s Cajun!” - Christopher A. Evans
An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity;
A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity
Smoking areas in restaurants are like peeing areas in swimming pools
Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.
Cruising down the Information Super Highway…
with my seat belt hanging out the door making sparks on the road.
“What concerns me is the proliferation, not just of nonsense and sloppy thinking per se, but of a particular kind of nonsense and sloppy thinking: one that denies the existence of objective realities, or (when challenged) admits their existence but downplays their practical relevance.”
Alan Sokal, in his now notorious Lingua Franca article
“One never knows, do one?”
Fats Waller–?
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
“Everything is true. . . . Everything anybody has ever thought.”
Philip K. Dick, “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?”
Bill: “Socrates: ‘The only true wisdom consists in knowing
that you know nothing.’”
Ted: “That’s us, Dude!”
Bill: "Oh yeah."
“Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”
… it’s so big they found another bug in the Pentium chip trying to calculate it
When you’re arguing with a fool, make sure he isn’t doing the same thing.
"
There is no task so obnoxious that it will not be completed
enthusiastically, provided it is being used as a means to
procrastinate on doing something even worse.
Jonathan P. Bernick
Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” while you search for a rock.
Mandarin Rejection Notice:
We have read your manuscript with boundless delight. If
we were to publish your paper, it would be impossible for
us to publish any work of lower standard. And as it is
unthinkable that in the next thousand years we shall see
its equal, we are, to our regret, compelled to return your
divine composition, and to beg you a thousand times to
overlook our short sight and timidity.
Motto of the Bomb Squad:
If you see us running, you better catch up.
“Note to predators: the only way to safely eat me is to turn me on my back and dive in”–Porcupine
fleeing
Thanks for all the suggestion. DRY, you win. 
Thanks, Porcupine.
I used to read books on “big cats” (lions, leopards, tigers, jaguars, etc.) when I was a kid. I remember reading about how some of them hunted porcupines by flipping them over and devouring them in their helpless, upside down state, thereby avoiding a nose full of quills.
I recalled that story when I opened your thread yesterday. Particularly when I could put a prurient spin on the story. 
Congratulations on your fine choice and exceeding good taste! 