I always thought that would be really funny. But, hey, who would call? Masochists looking for a fun night on the phone?
“Yeah, hi, this is Dominique the Dominatrix. How can I fuck you?” (Can’t you just HEAR that voice?)
1-800-GET-HAIR
That could get some responses. I’ll bet that’s a real number, though.
Best!
Byz
1-800 FELCH-ME
1-800 MT FLAPS
JMcC, San Francisco, JJM’s page from the Bay
If I were a baseball player, and I got beaned by a fastball, I wouldn’t want medical attention. I’d want my limp, lifeless body flung to 1st, cause, dammit, I earned it!
Well I’m sure you’ve seen the 1 800 EAT SHIT stickers around. Several years ago I and some drunk buddies called it just for fun. Turned out to be an ad to order more bumper stickers. Last year I heard the number didn’t work anymore tho.
1-800-MON-KEYS
"Hello, welcome to the Monkey Hot Line!
If you’d like to hear 1,000 monkeys typing randomly on 1,000 typewriters, press “1”.
If you’d like to hear a monkey chew you out like the pig that you are, press “2”.
If you’d like to hear the sound of monkeys flinging feces, press “3”.
If you’d like to hear the sound of monkeys screaming to the haunting tune of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, press “4”.
Press “5” to schedule a one-on-one session with the actor from B.J. and the Bear! Don’t worry, he has plenty of time!"
Ohhhh, man. Someone help me out of the Bad Place.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
I actually own that CD. Barnyard Beat, it’s called. Also on the CD is a seal singing “I Feel Good” and a chicken singing “Born to Be Wild”.
I know this is more appropriate for the “Embarrassing things you won’t admit IRL” thread in MPSIMS, but then I guess no one would know what made me think of it. . .
“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight
Lenny was right, ‘fuck’ is feel nice thing.
‘fuck you dad!’ Should be positive thing, no?
Anyway, www.register.com says that
1-800-fuck-you.com/org/net is NOT available. you know what that means? ‘fuck’ can’t be in a web site name, or so it seems.
Try this, it’s a real message recorded for all of those who like to tell polish jokes:
1-800-POLISH-Q
You just won’t believe it…
Of course I meant Polish jokes.
Um, how’d you get a phone with a ‘Q’?
Handy,
I do tech support for a webhosting provider. Believe me, you can use “fuck” in a domain name. Network Solutions and the other name registers don’t care one way or another.
On a random search, www.fuck.com didn’t come up, but www.fuckingfantasy.com (a customer of my company), and www.fucking.com both came up.
Um . . . they both resolved.
Will work for sig line.
I thought the Felch-Hotline was 1-800-EAT-SHIT.
>^,^<
KITTEN
Fluff yer hair Beula, I’s feelin frisky - M.S.
Crick, now you’ve ruined it for all the half-wits who would have otherwise picked up the phone & dialed, hunt-and-peck style, through the whole number only to realize by the time they got to the Q…
rasberries
Hi this is my first post on this board, and wanted to let you all know about registering “dirty-word” domain names. Internic and Network SOlutions will not register them. That is simply their policy.
The place i have registered my “dirty-word” domains, and i have several is: http://www.netwiz.net
i am not affiliated with them in any way other than i register with them and think they provide GREAT service.
Hope this helps!
Sealemon88 wrote, re 1-800-MONKEYS:
Wait a minute! The critter on B.J. and the Bear was a chimpanzee, not a monkey!
Sorry to walk on yer ‘Prince Albert in a Can’ gag there Opus, but Jaysus H. Washington, I dialed that number ye posted and me bleedin’ mother answered!
That just wasn’t very nice. 1-800-BAD-JOKE.
Dr. Watson
"Once more, with feeling . . . "
1-800-NOT-POOF
For all you men who like the flat haired women.
1-800-ME-FLUFF
For all you men who like the fluffy women.
1-800-NOT-TUNA
This is just for you know who!
Best!
Byz
re: the monkey hotline
to hear “hey, hey we’re the Monkees…”
“There’s a snake in my boot!”
phouka, what you sayd & what webslave says, don’t seem to agree…
1-800-GET-BENT
For that boomerang penis thing. Come on, those dicks are just trying to hit the G-spot!
1-800-NOT-REAL
For any man that THINKS those 976 number women really look anything like those ads!
1-800-BIG-DICK
For any woman that THINKS those 976 number men really look anything like those ads!
1-800-GET-CLUE
For anyone who is taking any of these numbers seriously…
1-800-GO-MPSIMS