I spent my morning in a three hour seminar about how to manage my time effectively (I know, my irony meter pegged too.) The CEO of my company was giving a rather rousing motivational talk, and he used a couple of metaphors that did NOT mix well. I’ll paraphrase:
“People, the market is changing, and when the bottom falls out, then you will get the chance to stretch your legs and use the skills that you have…”
“Now that the market is shifting, it’s time to spread your wings and show what you can do….”
And then… he mixed his metaphors:
“When this market shift happens, I want you all to go out there and spread your legs and show what you have…”
Well, that certainly jerked my head up out of a semi-doze! :eek: I peeked around, and none of the other 100+ people seemed to notice. These people are really good at keeping a straight face, or they’re totally oblivious and will applaud anything.
I was giggling quietly the rest of the day. I needed that chuckle.
Yesterday my gf was talking to her boss and others at their company about how she’s always thinking about how she can save time, and be more efficient in her job. Her boss replied “I don’t have time to do that”. :rolleyes:
Reminds me of a jammed-Packed meeting we had in a small conference room after out sales people retuned back from a cruise. My co-worker and I we sitting directly behind the two hottest sales chicks in the Company. After making some funny gestures with Glaze-Twist doughnuts, we did our best to stay awake during this Filibuster. Then, out-of-the-blue, the narrator replies, “Let’s show everyone what we learned on the cruise” with this said, she reached over and pushed the play button on a cassette player. All of a sudden the “Macarena Song” began to play and all of the sales staff stood-up and began gyrating. Within inches of our face, at 8:45 in the morning, We were enjoying the best Lap Dances on earth!
That reminds me both of many, many Dilbert strips, and the bartender from Boondock Saints:
“Wh-wh-why don’t you make like a tree and g-g-get the fuck outta here!”
Several years ago at one of our company seminars (which are attended by many of our members, not just employees), one of our then-executives was at the podium and announced to the audience, “…and if you have any questions, just find one of our employees wearing the white badges, cornhole them…”. :eek: He meant “corner”. There was dead silence for about two seconds, and then several people in the audience broke into hysterics. The speaker never lived it down, either.
there’s a possibility that he said that on purpose to see if anyone was listening - especially if it was towards the end of the session and he noticed some heads tilting back…
And I didn’t giggle.