I’m guessing that most Catholics would say no, but many Protestants would say yes.
A couple related links:
http://www.outrage.cygnet.co.uk/jesus.htm
http://www.eaglehost.com/enoch144/cana.htm
Asking this question is a lot like asking whether Jesus ever farted. The Sunday School answer, of course, is that he did, but it didn’t stink. (And if you truly believe, yours won’t stink, either. see John 3:8.)
so, how much time do you have on your hands??
I’ll take that as a ‘no’ from the first Catholic to respond.
I’m an agnostic… and I dont know what your problem is.
Well, in http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=10578 you described yourself as
but I suppose if you want to deny your Catholic background now, that is your prerogative.
It’s sad that you view your agnosticism as a problem for yourself. People ought to feel comfortable with their beliefs. As for what my problem might be, of course you don’t know, because you have no idea who I am.
You can spend all day talking about me, and I can spend all day talking about you. The point of this thread, though, is to debate whether Jesus ever experienced an orgasm. Clearly, as a Catholic (or former Catholic, or however you describe yourself now), the question offends you. One thing I know for sure: That’s not my problem.
Do you care to contribute anything meaningful, or would you rather keep talking about me?
If you want a serious answer to the question, I would say yes. Remember, one of the most basic points of his being was the fact that he was a REAL human, with all the wants and wishes of one. This is a point most beautifully portrayed in “The Last Temptation of Christ.”
I’m not saying he neccessarily slept with women, but chances are well in the favor that if we are to seriously believe in his nature as human, it would be silly to think that at some point he didn’t discover his penis or at least experienced a wet dream. I think one would be hard-pressed to find a male human being that never experienced an orgasm, even if he were an armless bachelor.
ok, a few answers.
2)I never deny my background, or else I never would have made that statement
3The question dosent offend me. I just think its a pointless debate.
Did Jesus experience Orgasm. Who knows? Its not going to change my life if I know, and I dont believe that it will change yours either. He probably did. Maybe he didnt. The problem is, there is no way of finding out, so why debate?
I must agree, although I did contribute to it, the whole debate appears rather trivial. Almost seems like it’s begging for a reaction … I mean, what do you wish to address by asking this. Perhaps then we could develop this topic into something interesting.
Actually, I believe that one of the hidden Dead Sea scrolls mentions how Jesus once burped, farted and sneezed at the same time, and only his divine essence prevented him from dying. This information, not surprisingly, is being kept hidden for unknown reasons by the Christian Illuminati, so I bet that if you try and find a reference to it anywhere you will be unsuccessful, which proves, of course, the existence of the conspiracy.
…therefore I, Mandark, have proven your little religion to be primitive superstition because no one wishes to answer my sophomoronic questions! You will all now bow down to worship ME! HA Ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha…
I suppose this would be a bad thread in which to bring up the Second Coming of Christ…
snork
tracer, you rock.
Kimstu
He who farts first, laughs last.
As far as I’ve heard, Jesus lived to the ripe old age of 33 (or thereabouts, depending on which scholar you talk to). He didn’t “discover” his supposed “divinity” until he was 30 (or thereabouts, again, depending).
So assuming he went through puberty around the age of 12 or so, that leaves him 18 years (at least) to whack off/have a wet dream/squirt when he saw a hot girl/etc.
The Law of Averages, I would think, says it’s pretty damn probable that he had an orgasm. Unless, of course, he was impotent or born without testicles and/or penis, but that’s VERY open to debate.
The REAL question is “Has Satan ever experience an orgasm?”
Since Biblical texts say nothing about this topic, we’re left with speculation, surmise, and hypothesis.
Case 1: IF you believe that Jesus was perfect (meaning, without sin),
– and IF you believe that ejaculation without intercourse is a sin
– AND IF you believe that intercourse outside of marriage is a sin;
THEN you must believe Jesus had no ejaculation, orgasm, or intercourse.
Case 2: IF you reject any of these beliefs, then you can imagine whatever you’d like about Jesus’ sexual activity. You might also be interested to know about the grafitti found on a recently excavated wall of the ancient Temple, that says (in ancient Aramaic), “For a really good time, call Jesus at 432-70XX” (Unfortunately, the last two numbers are illegible.)
SPOOFE Bo Diddly wrote:
Really? IIRC, some of the “alternative” Gospels that didn’t make it into the New Testament talked about Jesus making wooden birds come to life at age 12, so he must have had at least some inkling that he wasn’t exactly a normal kid.
Well, he and Saddam Hussein did get it on in South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. And the ol’ Lord of Darkness was shown ejaculating fire twice in The Devil in Miss Jones.
Or did you mean “Satan” as in our Brian?
CK, I was using the King James bible as a reference. As far as I know, there’s nothing about wooden birds in there… although it has been a couple years since I gave it a read (no, I’m actually not religious). However, I know that other versions of the Bible have different books… which version were you working out of (that’s not a taunt or anything… I really am curious)?
Tracer, as much as I am amused by your response (I really am… hehe…), I don’t think we should use South Park as a religious reference. In fact, I don’t like to use it as a comedic reference. HOWEVER, you do raise an interesting point… has OUR Satan ever experienced an orgasm? Satan, where are you, we need an answer!!
(I, for one, am pretty sure I’ve experienced an orgasm once or twice… though I’d want a scientific study just to make sure).
First and most important, that line about the Second Coming was brilliant.
But sadly, I can see this debate is going nowhere. So let me be a little less foolish and a little more clear (if I can):
Of course we’ll never know if Jesus had an orgasm. So why ask the question? Because the answers we give tell us something about our concepts of divinity, our concepts of ourselves, and our concepts about sexuality.
In Buddhist art, gods and goddesses commonly are portrayed in the act of copulation. Sexuality is not divorced from the divine. A recent controversial art exhibit in New York portrayed the Virgin Mary in an erotic context. It drew the wrath of Establishment types, but it asks the very same question.
In any culture, the divine is always an expression of the person. Every image or concept of god is a reflection of how we view ourselves on a higher level. When we talk about god, to a certain extent, we’re really just talking about ourselves.
Western thought has tended to objectify the concept of god. ‘God,’ as a concept, became something separate and distinct from ‘man’ or ‘woman.’ We grew up with silly, comic book images of god with a long, white beard throwing thunderbolts, and we think, how is that any different from the Easter bunny? How can I believe in THAT?
Christianity has become the religion of western culture. But Christianity doesn’t fit together so well with this western practice of dividing things down into separate, distinct elements, like ‘God’ and ‘man’ and ‘this’ and ‘that.’ The whole idea of Jesus is that god was a person, in many ways like any other person, and a person was god. The two separate concepts of ‘god’ and ‘person’ are united. In this respect, it’s a pre-western religion.
Did that god/person experience an orgasm? I think the answer must be yes, of course. On the other hand, I also think a lot of Christians would be offended by the very suggestion that Jesus had orgasms. Why? What does that say about our culture? What does that say about our image of our higher self?
Of course the Bible is silent on the issue. But anyone who thinks Christianity is based only on the Bible isn’t paying attention. The religion changes over time and with the culture. And here we are, in the 21st Century. Now we see people who push the idea that Jesus was gay, or married. We see people doing what people have done for thousands of years: conceptualizing god as an expression of themselves.
Did Jesus ever experience an orgasm? It’s a ridiculous question. The answer can never be a scientific truth. The question itself makes me laugh, I’ll admit it.
And then I know that he did.
What’s even more shocking is that God masturbates! We are the proof.
Sure, what better proof do you need that God exists?