Did you ever get gayness in your eye, Gabriel? It buuurns.

[Lemur866]

Aaaaand the old classic:

Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3604/why_do_all_these.html

[joyfool]

Is this when the Sinner guy needs the Christian eye?

[jayjay]

You know, Priam, you just earned about 15000 jayjaypoints[sup]tm[/sup] for referencing Trick.

[Homebrew]

from Kids In the Hall
After the Hockey Game sketch

Mark: So if you ever need money for tuition, if you decide to go to college, come to me. you ever want tickets to more hockey games, you come to see me… You want the occasional blow job-

Scott: Aw, Jesus! Not again…

Mark: What?

Scott: Every time I come to this city, some guy picks me up at the bus station, takes me to a Leaf game, gets me pissed, then tries to blow me. Why can’t people like me for me?

Mark: Gee, brad, I’m sorry. I didn’t know about your past. I do like you for you.

Scott: Yeah right.

Mark: …But as far as I can see, that’s no need to break with the little tradition you’ve got toing.

Scott: I’m not queer…

Mark: Oh no, of course not! No, of course you’re not queer. But why don’t you have a couple of drinks and see if you can put the “bi” back in bisexual?

Scott: I’m gonna need a lot of beer…

Mark: I keepa chilled keg in my bedroom.

Scott: Aw, Jesus! Look. I don’t do nothin’.

Mark: You come, don’t you?

Scott: Yeah…

Mark: Great! This way.

Scott: Great…

Mark: Brad?

Scott: What?

Mark: When you speak of this, and I know you will, be kind?

Scott: Yeah, right, I ain’t tellin’ no one.

Mark: Deal, sure, whatever!

[Mockingbird]

*Originally posted by iampunha *
**Well, I’m back from my usual 15 mind-blowing orgasms from having sex with my wife. I came all over her because I love coming all over a woman’s body, and she loves it when I cover her with an inch-thick layer of my manfluid. Manfluid is a gift from God, we always say. I don’t even make her swallow. I love licking it off her body. She loves when I … I mean, SHE licks it up! Cuz I hate the taste! HATE IT! I HATE THE TASTE OF SEMEN! YES I DO! THE GOOD LORD MADE ME HETROSEXUAL, THAT’S RIGHT! SEE HOW MANY KIDS WE’VE HAD? THAT MEANS I’M A HETROSEXUAL! CUZ I LOOOOOOVE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE! **

My country 'tis of thee,
bukkake for you and me,
for this I sing.

Here I do go and spoo,
all over you I blew,
emptying my nads I shoot,
let semen fling.*

[tiny_ham]

*Originally posted by Amp *
**I got some gayness on me once. I collected as much of it as I could and put it in a jar. **

And I didn’t appreciate THAT one bit. If I’m all chock full of gay, how am I supposed to get pregnant? OR INTO HEAVEN I MAY ADD?

[Thylacine]

*Originally posted by Priam *
**my grimy jeans
my plaid shirt!
my mullet!
my rusty pickup truck

Any lesbians willing to help counteract these effects? **

This lesbian thinks from the description that your old self was a lesbian!

old school type of course, not the new breed who dress better and make we flanelette wearing fossils really confused

[Otto]

*Originally posted by jayjay *
**You know, Priam, you just earned about 15000 jayjaypoints[sup]tm[/sup] for referencing Trick. **

How many more for the harrier jet?

[jayjay]

*Originally posted by Otto *
**How many more for the harrier jet? **

checks the “H” list

Hmm…hummer, hairier pet, half-dressed…

Sorry, nothing about jets in here…and that hummer is lowercase, so we’re not talkin’ cars…

[Priam]

*Originally posted by Thylacine *
**This lesbian thinks from the description that your old self was a lesbian!

old school type of course, not the new breed who dress better and make we flanelette wearing fossils really confused **

…
looks down in his pants
OHMYGOD THEY THREW THEIR GAYNESS ON MY VAGINA AND I SPROUTED A DICK!! Those absolute militant perverts!!

[Miller]

*Originally posted by Priam *
**OHMYGOD THEY THREW THEIR GAYNESS ON MY VAGINA AND I SPROUTED A DICK!! **

Classic sig material if I’ve ever seen it.

[Thylacine]

Finally there is a bloke who can use the old line honestly

I am a lesbian in a man’s body

Why do blokes dress like dykes anyway? Do they think it will help get women or something?

this post is fortified with 90% silliness for your reading pleasure

[Lamia]

*Originally posted by lieu *
****“Did you ever get gayness in your eye, Gabriel? It buuurns.”**Use that shampoo… No More Queers. **

There’s lots of funny stuff in this thread, but this is my favorite!

Oh, and Thylacine, I am proud to say that I have an “everyday” flannel shirt, a “dress” flannel shirt, and a whole flannel dress! My sister made it for me. It’s perfect for those days when you just don’t know if you’re butch or femme.

[Thylacine]

Stop it Lamia, you are turning my head and my SO is arriving here on Monday from the wrong hemisphere, I don’t think she has a flannel dress :sob

must behave, must behave, must behave

[Ludovic]

Would this have to do with the post that went roughly “I dont have gays, but…”?

[wolfman]

"Did you ever get gayness in your eye, Gabriel? It buuurns."Use that shampoo… No More Queers.

I bet that shampoo isn’t made by Johnson and Johnson.

[jayjay]

No, Jonathanson and Jonathanson.

[Lamia]

*Originally posted by Thylacine *
**Stop it Lamia, you are turning my head and my SO is arriving here on Monday from the wrong hemisphere, I don’t think she has a flannel dress :sob

must behave, must behave, must behave **

Oh, I’m blushing! :o

Luckily, flannel dresses can be bought or made, and not just by my dear sister. Or better still, there are always flannel nighties. They’re chic, they’re warm, they’re flannelicious! Why don’t you surprise your SO with a special gift for zee boudoir?

[Mtgman]

Gayness burned you did it? So you would say gayness is hot? Maybe even… flaming?

Enjoy,
Steven

[iampunha]

THE ONLY THING FLAMING IS ME AND MY WIFE WHEN WE HAVE MAD PASSIONATE HETROSEXUAL INTERCOURSE! AND PRIAM’S DICK IS NOWHERE NEAR HER! I MAKE SURE OF THAT BY RESTRAINING IT BEFOREHAND WITH … MY ANGRY GAZE!