I’m all a-tingle over this (you know how I feel about skinny guys) 
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This is one of those things I don’t really get. I’m in great shape and I’m at the gym a lot more than most people, but it’s also something I don’t talk about often. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I brought up anything about diet or exercise other than someone specifically asking me. The only time it comes up is something like “What are you doing tonight?” “Hitting the gym, then…” and that’s it.
Really, it’s not something I talk about because it’s just the way things are for me. It’d be like if suddenly sleep became an obsession about society and people started talking about different types of beds, pajamas, when to go to bed and wake up relative to your body type, what types of food to eat and when relative to sleep and all of that. The overwhelming majority of us just sleep and if we’re not getting enough, we change things to fix it and move on.
In that regard, I think the fixation on health and diet is, ironically, extremely unhealthy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, in fact it’s a good thing, but the obsession means that you’re not just living that way. Yeah, you have to put in effort to change things to make your life healthier but at a certain point its unmaintainable and the effort and stress that go along with it end up being a detriment.
Also, unfortunately, it seems our society as a whole puts extra pressure on women in this regard. Often even women who are in generally good health end up obsessing about dieting and burning calories and all. I don’t really know what the best way is to start fixing that is, though.
wipe Hollywood out of existence.
First of all, thanks for all the replies! It’s been a long week, and she’s still talking about her damn dieting plan. I expressed to her my exasperation over the topic, but she brought it up three more times through out the day (that’s just today!) regardless. Every now and again I tend to reach my limit and explode at her, saying how depressing it is when people get so fixated on diet plans. I feel bad, for it, because I know she thinks she’ll like herself better the smaller she gets, and probably thinks I’m jealous of her. But, I can’t help it. I’m not jealous of the woman, I’m certain she thinks it and is trying to gently coax me down the same road, the ‘right’ road to losing weight. But, that’s not the case. My periods of wanting to lose weight are brief and often more left-over mental impressions that come from hearing people talk about it so damn much.
I won’t say I’m perfectly fit or anything, but I don’t think us folks with bellies that aren’t perfectly flat and hips that aren’t poking out are so grotesque that we shouldn’t exist. Everyone is different and what’s considered beautiful wouldn’t be considered as such if it were so simple to attain. People just want what they can’t have and that can lead to a depressing existence of chasing the carrot on the string that you’ll never catch. Or if you do catch it, it’s stale and not nearly as good or fulfilling as you want. I hear of these people with amazing weight loss stories, and you do feel happy for them, but then you ask they how they feel now that they’re fit. Generally, they’ll say great, but ask them about their love life. How hard it is for them to accept someone loves them for who they are, rather then how they look now that the weights gone. There’s that pain over not being ‘lovable’ while they were chubby or over weight, that makes love and attraction seem that much more shallow when they get more attention after they attain what they want.
I just get sick of all this…all of it is depressing. I’ll admit I chuckled though at the first few responses (snarky the two of you!) but in the end, mentally, I don’t feel much better. The fact that, lol, people came here and remarked on ways to lose weight is sort of amusing. That’s basically exactly the point. I’m so tired of hearing the new and known ways to lose weight or Why are you so fat!! It’s because of this! You should do this! Everyones a damned weight loss expert and half them don’t care about whether you have boundaries or not regarding it.
So far as saying every day is a free day, that’s fine but why do we even have to specify? It’s excessively rude and horribly obnoxious having to explain my meals to people. Or to listen to them exclaim over how something looks SOooOo good but they can’t have it because they’re fat. Or how dare you bring that here!!! Ugh, you’re not supportive at all! Do I really have to base MY life around your diet? Jesus. I didn’t bring it for you. I’m not your bloody keeper.
I’m to the point where I start just saying ‘ya’ to my coworker every time she talks about this. I can tell she’s disappointed, but man…enough is enough. And I’m not hopping on the weight loss band wagon with everyone else. It’s a degrading exercise, it’s as if people need something to make them feel guilty because if you don’t feel guilty over something you’re a horrible person. Endless loop. -face palm-
welcome to the internet. post a question about kids, everyone on the board suddenly turns into a child/family therapist. ask about weight loss, pop those people just magically became doctors/dietitians. Post something about cars, bam they’ve all instantly transformed into automotive engineers (even though the extent of their “knowledge” of cars comes from Top Gear.)
people like to think they know what they’re talking about. Few people realize it when they don’t.
Dietitian requires a degree/certification, and you can theoretically get in trouble for using it wrongly. What these people can claim is that they are “nutritionists,” which basically means that you have that title because you call yourself one.
Yeah, people can become obnoxiously obsessed with just about anything. I try to limit my talks about nutrition and fitness to people who also want to talk about nutrition and fitness. There are whole websites where I can get that out of my system, and we even have a thread on the Dope for it.
The main reason I’m interested in it is that my previous habits were killing me. I don’t care what other people do. I mean obviously if they want to eat healthy, I’ll encourage that, but don’t assume that just because I make a different choice, I am judging you.
I know our culture has an unhealthy obsession with weight, and I’m not really focusing on my weight. I’m focusing on doing healthy stuff so that I won’t die of a heart attack before I’m 40.
I mean, I think it’s helpful to know that sometimes the reason people obsess over this stuff is because they have to. Healthy changes can be very difficult, but for some people it is literally a matter of life and death and has to be their #1 priority.
Like the other day my coworker offered me a piece of carrot cake, and I said no. She asked, ''Oh, do you have diabetes?" Well, no, I don’t. That’s what I’m trying to avoid. But people can be so pushy about food, talking about being on a diet can be a defensive move. She kept pushing and I said no like 3 times. People are seriously fucking pushy about food. It’s like trying to pressure an alcoholic into drinking. Just let it go.
Another topic that never quits: sports. :rolleyes:
Sports talk bores me so much. I just don’t understand the obsession some people get over certain teams.
Seriously, people getting butthurt over why the Redsocks (or whatever) won, when the rival team is only several hours away?
Yeah, but your recent efforts to hike have come pretty close too!
Be careful out there!
Please don’t mistake conscientiousness for obsession. I like to think that I’m more of the former. I keep a quiet running tally of my daily caloric intact, sure. But if you offer me a donut, there’s a 99% chance I’ll eat it happily and thank you for it.
If a person doesn’t want to get on my bad side, they won’t make a big deal if I don’t “go ahead, take another.” Me saying no isn’t evidence that I have an eating disorder or that I’m uptight. It just means I’m keeping to a commitment I’ve made to myself.
I think some people focus on diet because it absolves them (somewhat) of the shame they have for their bodies. It is hard to eat in public, period, for many people. If you are/feel overweight, then it can be especially hard to eat because of the fear of judgment about your food choices. Maybe some people feel like others’ judgements will be kinder if they can demonstrate they don’t eat like a pig. Kind of a “The lady doth protest too much” thing.
Diet talk bores me. And it’s the Red Sox.
Okay, that was embarrassing and funny at the same time. :o
Well, it certainly proved your point!
(I’m not really into sports, either. Except the Olympics. The Olympics are bad-ass.)
The ladies I work with aren’t quite that polite. I don’t even honestly care, if they eat something someone brings in. People bring in donuts sometimes, cookies, or things they’ve cooked and offer it to the coworkers. Those on a diet (for the moment) will basically chastise them and get up in arms. ‘Who brought this?! What are you trying to do to me make me fat?’ I can’t help but find that sensationally rude. Say thank you, but I don’t want any. Or hell just don’t say anything! It wasn’t brought for just one person, and no, we don’t have to adjust our eating habits or what treats we get for the week because someones on a diet.
Kudos to you for being polite over it. I don’t hate people, automatically, for being on a diet. I just hate how rude they can become, and how often it gets brought up when more then one person in the work place is on one.
Today, one of my coworkers took out a small bun from her lunch bag, and the lady next to her grinned and said ‘do you know how much fat is in that? And sugar?’ The other lady responded with ‘I don’t give a crap, I’m still gonna eat it’. I could only really agree. Keep your eyes on your own damn food! Jokingly, I told her that, but honestly…I feel that way wholeheartedly.
Not that I would ever have the balls to do it, but have you thought about telling one of these twats off? Not jokingly, but for real?
I think you should plan what you’re going to say the next time someone says something. That way it will be on your tongue already, ready to go. Then you can come back and tell us what happened!
What’s so hard about saying “I don’t want any” or “I’m not really in the mood for cake, but thanks”? I used to work at an office in the suburban Midwest, so I know all about fat old ladies who create occasions to celebrate so they can have cake and like to ask why others aren’t indulging with them. Sometimes I’d have some, more often I wouldn’t, and I never went into a health lecture. I just said “I don’t feel like cake” and was done with it. Not hard. “You sure?” “Yeah, I’m just not up for cake, is all.” Done.
Right? I’m not Captain Fitness or anything, but I’m a fan of real food, fresh air, and exercise, but I never talk about it unless someone specifically inquires. People who yap about what they/others eat and how often they exercise just need something to be preachy about.
Most people are fine if you say, “No, I’m good, thanks anyway.” This is true, and I shouldn’t exaggerate. But there’s only so many times you can hear comments about being vain, obsessive, or eating-disordered before you start anticipating getting shit whenever you turn down food.
Someone was once trying to get me to take “one more” girl scout cookie in the breakroom. I kept saying I was “good”, and the guy offering them said something about me starving myself. And I made the mistake of saying that I had already had two Samoas already (everyone’s girl scout cookies had arrived on that day) so no more sweets for me. It was a mistake because it invited a lecture about how I was the last person that needs to worry about counting calories blabbity blah. Another woman in the room noticed my annoyance and actually chimed in that perhaps me turning down cookies is why he can say that. I wouldn’t have thought to say that, but she was right. And he shut up.
Doesn’t happen every day or every week. But it happens frequently enough that it sticks in the brain and makes me defensive. Maybe I need to relax about it, though.
(It doesn’t help that I can be full of child-like happiness when someone brings treats. So it may confuse people when I clap my hands about the cookies or donuts, but I’ll only take one.)
WTF. That’s a real thing?
Oh, I forgot to add to the rant.
I’m not as healthy as I’d like to be but I try and I’m okay with that. I’m pregnant. I’m okay with that, too. There is no such thing as “eating for two.” That really isn’t the way it works at all. Still if I turn something down, I’m starving my baby. Yeah. Because apparently “being pregnant” means “eating like a pig for 9 months.” I once knew a woman who gained 60 pounds in one pregnancy. I didn’t gain that much in both of my to term pregnancies combined.
I don’t get it.
I’m guessing you’ve been that way for a long time. You’re used to these behaviors. I can only speak for myself, but it’s an alien landscape for me. I’ve lived most of my life treating my body like shit, so the fact that I’m no longer treating it like shit is a new and interesting thing for me. If I talk about it, it’s either because I’m excited about something positive happening in my life, or I’m hoping to pick up advice and input. I don’t tell other people what they should eat, or comment on others’ food, but if someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m going to tell them, ‘‘Actually I feel pretty damned good lately because I’ve started taking care of my health.’’ And if the response is positive, we’ll have a conversation. It really depends on the context. I work in a small office with a handful of other people who all value a healthy lifestyle and they are only too happy to discuss these things.
I realize not all people are this way. The ladies in the office the OP describes just sound rude and obnoxious. And I know that it sucks in situations where everybody is talking about one subject you could care less about. I work with elderly nuns, and sometimes the entire lunch period is just nonstop hearing about the lives of old nuns I’ve never met. And sometimes when I hang out with my husband’s friends it’s all about statistical process B and the latest gossip in the lab. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with politely asking people not to discuss certain things around you, if only because it makes you feel alienated or like you aren’t a part of the group. But again, totally depends on the context.
Yes, it’s extremely annoying how so many people think they are experts on dieting. Of course there are know-it-alls on a lot of subjects, but at least with the guy who thinks he is an expert on sports, he has never actually been the head coach of the New York Knicks so there is a remote chance his ideas may have some special merit. Similarly, most people have not been the chairman of the federal reserve board.
But with dieting, a good percentage of these self-proclaimed experts are fat and out of shape. So the evidence is staring them in the face that they have no idea what they are talking about.
Of course, seemingly inevitably when you make this point the defense is raised that Professor Fatty McFatts knows what to eat to lose weight, he just doesn’t do it for whatever reason. But he still has gobs of wonderful knowledge to share with the world.
Well guess what Professor Fatty? Everyone over the age of 12 knows how to eat to lose weight. In 15 minutes, any literate, English-speaking adult could write down a diet which, if followed, will result in steady, permanent weight loss.
So basically Professor Fatty’s advice must fall into 1 of 4 categories:
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Something that is easy to do, but doesn’t work, i.e. it does not result in significant long term weight loss for the majority people who do it. For example, drinking half a cup of cider vinegar every night before bed. In this case, the advice is just plain wrong – otherwise the Professor would be a skinny not a fatty.
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Something that works but is difficult to do, for example strictly monitoring and limiting caloric intake every day for the rest of your life. In this case, the advise is correct, but totally obvious. Basically like someone who says that to quit smoking, you should just stop smoking. Gee thanks for the great insight. :rolleyes:
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Something that is easy to do, works, but is physically dangerous or unhealthy, for example abusing stimulants. Again, bad advice.
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Something that is easy to do, works, and is safe. Well if Professor Fatty has found something that is easy to do, works, and is safe, then why is he still fat?
So any way you look at it, Professor Fatty is being annoying.