This morning my husband got home from his 24 hour shift at the fire station. The first words out of his mouth were: “One of the crew committed suicide last night.”
It was someone on another shift, but still, a brother-in-arms. Hubby was obviously very upset.
I am upset too. I’d never met him, but this brought everything about my son’s death right back into today. I feel selfish for falling into my own feelings when Hubby has a real reason for feeling bad.
I’m doing my best to stay positive and supportive for him. It’s hard. Maybe tomorrow will be better… for both of us.
I’m not looking for hugs or pats on the head, I just needed to vent.
Thanks.
I don’t think you’re being selfish at all. I think you’re having a perfectly natural, human-nature type reaction where we (people, I mean), try to put things into the context of our own experiences to try to gain better understanding.
It really sucks you guys are going through this. I hope tomorrow is better, for both of you!
I do share his grief. I’m being supportive, and allowing him to express how his loss makes him feel.
My point yesterday, was that his friend’s death brought back the pain I felt with my son’s suicide. Instead of focusing on Hubby’s pain, I focused on my own.
It’s better today. He understands what’s going on with me, and we’re talking about both deaths.
I’m glad. It’s really, really hard to find someone to really talk to about that kind of loss. It’s good that he has you, and I’m glad that you have him.
And I think that’s what I meant about mourning together - not necessarily feeling for the same person, but both having a part of the feeling. And talking about it. That’s good.
In a strange way I envy you. I’ve never had anyone close to me who understood. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to.
