A couple weeks ago, I got a call from my best friend’s husband. She was gone, and by suicide. I have been wanting to post this…but it was too raw and I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to say (It didn’t help that the day my friend died was a few days after the anniversary of my late husband’s death) My friend had been battling depression and mental illness a long time. She was a wife, mother and grandmother. She’d been my best friend for almost 30 years. I keep wanting to honor her in some way. To make her death be not entirely in vain. So, if you ever feel like you have no one to talk to, or feeling some type of way, whether we have ever interacted or not, PM me and I will call you. Whatever you have to say will be kept confidential… It may sound a little weird, and I know it won’t bring my friend back, but maybe it’ll make things suck a little less. Love ya’ll
Oof. Sorry for your loss.
@janis_and_c0, thank you.
I need to hear this every year before the holidays start. This year has been particularly tough. No money, no job, early snow staying around and dark gray skies for a week. I suffer from depression and SAD so November usually gifts me with a double-dose of the downers. Life is very scary for me and I don’t want to lose my home but I might, and soon.
But on Saturday, the sun finally broke through and by yesterday, I was even feeling a bit upbeat. I’m applying for jobs and have enough food to last me a couple of weeks. And in one month, the daylight hours will start increasing. Yay!
All: November is a tough month for almost everyone in the northern hemisphere who suffer from depression. Call a friend to see how they are doing. You might save a life.
@janis_and_c0, I am sorry for such a painful loss. Please understand that she probably felt it was the best of a bunch of bad options. She was in pain and I’m sure that she just wanted it to end. I understand. Some people think suicide is cowardly; I’m one who sees it can be an act of bravery as well, to the one who is suffering. She is out of her pain and that is what she felt she most needed. May you all grant mercy to her memory. Hugs.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
@carnut yeah, I know. A small part of me is grateful she no longer suffers. Love her heart , she fought the good fight. Incidentally, have you ever seen anything about light therapy? Might it help? Hang in there! Thanks very much. Your words mean a lot.
Every once in a while, I hear of a kindness someone has given to a total stranger, expecting nothing in return. It reinforces my sometimes-faltering belief in the basic goodness of mankind. Your post touched me in that way. Were there more people like you…
Not wishing to be contrary, but you are a victim of her suicide, too, and probably should be talking to someone(s) about it.
@burpo_the_wonder_mutt Thanks honey. I appreciate it. I’m alright. I have my reasons for being mostly ok.
@XOldiesJock your kind words mean more than you know. Thank you.
I can’t say it better than @XOldiesJock did.
Taking this tragedy onboard as you’ve done, then choosing to “pay it forward” by offering to help others in their time of need is the sort of thing that typifies the best that humanity has to offer an uncaring Universe.
That’s a deep and moving tribute to the memory of your friend. And a colossal comment about the content of your character.
My deepest condolences for your loss, but/and my heartfelt appreciation for you trying to battle against something powerfully dark with some meaningful and immensely human light.
Yeah, tons. Neighbors complain about the bright lights emanating from my windows at night. Poor them, they’ve no idea. Many years ago, I used to go tanning to get the light I so needed in winter but skin cancer knocked that on its head. Little light boxes require hours of exposure to give positive results. I gave up on them and just use “daylight” bulbs inside instead. Whatever works.
I know you meant well by this, but for some people who were left behind by a suicide such platitudes only cause pain and guilt and are no comfort at all. It’s not about whether a person views suicide as “cowardly”, it can also involve guilt that they were unable to help their loved one, or save them, or that the person was in such pain and they didn’t know, and a bunch of other things.
@Broomstick, I didn’t mean well by this. I am stating a fact. I’m not well in the head right now. I’ve been here before. I’m trying to get help. Such services are overwhelmed at the moment and I’m trying to hang on and put one foot in front of the other. So far, so good.
Placating the bereaved is now how people get better, nor does it save lives. I am outright telling others how it is, not sugar-coating it. Our friend @janis_and_c0 helped her friend by being there. So did the friend’s husband. Her death is not their fault and I would never blame them for that. Furthermore, @janis_and_c0 helped me by posting this reminder. So necessary to hear it. Depression is a terrible hole, sometimes you can climb out, sometimes you can’t.
I am constantly amazed that I am over 60 and still walking on this earth. And I am thankful that people like @janis_and_c0, @JaneDoe42, and a whole host of good people exist here. It means the earth to me. So please, strip the sugar. It give people diabetes.
You guys rock my socks so hard. Thank you so much again for such amazing words.
@carnut I appreciate where you are coming from. I’m sorry that the natural light therapy isn’t as effective as it could be. Big hugs to you. PM me if you want. That offer does apply to you if you need to talk.
@Broomstick I appreciate you as well. I have very little guilt when it comes to my friend. Her husband told me if it hadn’t been for me and some other people she would not have made it this far. I wish there would have been more that I could have done. And her passing leaves a hole in my life in the lives of her family, but mental illness is a screwed up thing. Like I said, I have my reasons for taking hope.
And I can’t say it better than this. Gentle hugs to you in a difficult time, @janis_and_c0.
@carnut, please keep hanging in there. Easier said than done, I know. But you are a worthy human being. We would feel your loss as would others in your personal sphere, no doubt. Keep sharing here if it helps. As janis noted, there are a lot of good people here. You’re one of them, too.
Sending good thoughts to you @janis_and_c0 and @carnut.
Seconding. To all of this.
Holding you both close, janis_and_c0 and carnut. Hugs.
@janis_and_c0 I am so sorry for your loss. You are a good person for wanting to help others despite your pain.
I am so sorry that you are doing so poorly and I hope you can get some help soon. Please hang in there, there aren’t enough good people in the world already, we need you.
Thank you all for your good wishes for me. I had to step away yesterday and have a good cry over you good folks. Doing better today, even if I was too lazy to get my pumpkin pie crust made before my cats reappeared, wanting to play. I’ve got tomorrow for that then.