Diggleblop has a giant schwanz!

The BBQ Pit
41

[QUOTE=Hamlet]
I’m sorry if this is the wrong thread, but I clicked on the first one I could find and this is an emergency.

Can anyone tell me how to treat my wife for shattered pelvis and ruptured female genitalia? I kept hitting the back of her throat while we were having vaginal sex, and when I changed positions, I knocked the chandelier on us, which caused her to twist and I think I broke her. What can I do?
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Miller]
Hey, be nice to diggleblop. Speaking as someone with an enormous wang, I can attest to how difficult it is to casually slip mention of your generous endowment into everday conversation. It’s really very trying.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Giraffe]
A giraffe’s tongue is 18 inches long and prehensile.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Contrapuntal]
Oh boy, is it. I was trying to tie mine into a square knot the other day, but I kept on ending up with a granny. Not that she was complaining …
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Squink]
Have you tried just tripping over the thing?
At first the girls think you’re a bit clumsy, but then they get to thinkin.
It works for me.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Happy Lendervedder]
I have a giant cock. Hm, I don’t usualy have a problem subtly slipping it in to conversations here and there. I have a giant cock. I think the diggler needs to work more on his subtlety.
[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=silenus]
“What jaw exercises can I do to perform cunnilingus for longer than two hours?”

I’ve found that rolling a bowling ball up the handicapped ramp at the Library with my tongue gives me great stamina in this area. Try to do at least 10 reps.

“Is it possible to kill a woman with too many orgasms?”

No. But I can get her to pass out fairly easily.

“Lightheadness due to blood loss when erect: Any solutions?”

Transfusions. I find that the additional unit of plasma helps maintain the diamond-hardness of my mighty member for at least 2 hours, or 4 orgasms (mine).
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[QUOTE=samclem]
I have to hang a sign on mine with six inch nails.
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[QUOTE=Beware of Doug]
Which way do you guys fold yours when you wear pants? 'Cause I haven’t figured out how to wear pants at all. Maybe mine’s just too big for 'em!
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[QUOTE=RedFury]
PS-I suggest he wears a two-man tent over it. Works for me.
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[QUOTE=Rysdad]
If a 747 was parked on his penis, and he ran forward at exactly the same speed that the engines were pushing backward…
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[QUOTE=Waverly]
Fuckers. People with huge cocks, like me, have feelings too.

I am just recently able to wear pants. I learned to attach my gigantic cock to a retracting hose reel that I wear on my ankle. Before that, I had to drag it behind me on a wheeled dolly. I can’t even tell you what life was like before my penis reduction surgery, but I take comfort in the fact that I improved the lives of dozens of under-endowed men who received grafts and enhancements using the extra 38 inches that I donated.
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[QUOTE=Jimmy Chitwood]
My cock is huge.
[/QUOTE]

CITES!?!!?

42

[QUOTE=faithfool]
CITES!?!!?
[/QUOTE]

C’mon over, I’ll give you a cite. :wink:

43

I will send any SDMB administrator ten dollars cash money if they change diggleblop’s user title from “Member” to “Huge Prick.”

44

[QUOTE=Cervaise]
I will send any SDMB administrator ten dollars cash money if they change diggleblop’s user title from “Member” to “Huge Prick.”
[/QUOTE]

Others, meanwhile, think “Member” works well enough on its own, and doesn’t need the obvious alteration.

45

I wonder if he’s related to the guy from another board who became infamous for managing to mention that he requires that kind of condom in every single post, no matter what it was about. Say you’re posting about vegetable soup. He’d post that he bought rutabagas and parsnips for soup while he was out buying his Magnum XL condoms. As you can imagine, he caused much mirth.

46

There was these two fellers standing on a bridge going to the bathroom.
One feller says that the water is cold.
The other says that the water is deep.
I believe one feller comes from Arkansas.

CMC fnord!
Do you reckon you can make me some biscuits? Mustard’s good on 'em to me.

47

[QUOTE=Oakminster]
After reading this thread:

I’m thinking maybe Diggleblop needs to go drinking with Autolycus…for science!
[/QUOTE]

You know… I was honestly going to avoid posting in this thread, but now that my name has been invoked, I feel compelled to say the following regarding that hypothetical drinking date.

No dice!

(I’m a huge dick and I have a huge dick, so I’m all set thanks :smiley: )

48

I don’t care how big you think your dick is, stay away from the girly drinks, because the ladies won’t believe you. :stuck_out_tongue:

49

[QUOTE=Klaatu]
I don’t care how big you think your dick is, stay away from the girly drinks, because the ladies won’t believe you. :stuck_out_tongue:
[/QUOTE]

With everything I’ve posted in the last two weeks, sometimes I wonder if I should even believe myself :stuck_out_tongue:

50

Not to defend the giant douche that is Diggle, but let’s face it, if you’re a guy, you’re concerned at some point in your life that your wang might not measure up. A heterosexual male isn’t going to go up to his male friends and say, “Let’s all whip it out and see who’s is bigger.” because, well, that’ll get your ass beat. Sure, you might sneak a quick peek every now and then in the locker room to see if anyone else matches you, but in the end, you’re going to be stuck asking your girlfriend, “Honey, do I have a big dick?” Naturally, if she knows anything about the male psyche, she’s going to say something like, “You’ve got the biggest cock I’ve ever seen.” So [del]Stubby[/del] Diggle naturally thinks he’s got a giant wang.

Now, I ask you, how is someone with what they think is a giant wang supposed to ask a question of an anatomical nature without sounding like they believe themselves to be John Holmes? I suppose that they could phrase the question like, “Gee, I notice that they don’t seem to offer the same options to big dicked guys as they do little dicked guys. Why is that? Is it because they figure that big dicked guys don’t need the help? What happens if the big dicked guy is a lousy lay? Shouldn’t he be able to avail himself of the same things that his smaller dicked brethern are, to compensate for his inability to bring a woman to orgasm?” But really, that’s probably not going to get them the answer they want. It’ll merely have people pointing at them and laughing. It’ll also probably inspire a Pit thread as well.

What’s a man to do? If you say you’ve got a huge cock, then no one will believe you, if you say you’ve got a micropenis, people will laugh at you (more than they already do, that is). I suppose we could all admit that penis size isn’t nearly as important as knowing what to do with it, but that would be like men saying that flat chested women were as appealing as Dolly Parton, and we all know that’s not likely to happen any time soon.

51

Real men don’t brag on message boards about cock size.

52

I get woken up by a big cock in the morning sometimes. I mean, I know the females probably like having a big cock around, but it’s too noisy once the cock get going in the morning. Often before dawn. In fact, it’s against regulations to have a cock around here at all for that reason.

Damn selfish of the owner and I wonder about reporting them every now and again. Plus they never give us any of the eggs.

53

I personally have always been steadfast in my denial that my member is anything more than average, but seven years of being told differently by my co-pupils at secondary school is there to contradict me. (No need to sneak peeks at the piss-trough when you have communal showers after games.)

It’s possible that the lady who spontaneously exclaimed “Oh, you’re huge!” just had nice bedroom manners though.

–The planetary archon formerly known as “Knobby”.

54

[QUOTE=Tuckerfan]
Now, I ask you, how is someone with what they think is a giant wang supposed to ask a question of an anatomical nature without sounding like they believe themselves to be John Holmes?
[/QUOTE]
Obvious. You start a thread saying that your friend has concerns over the size of his knob; that way, nobody will ever know it’s actually your own tiny knob you’re worried about. Just the same as nobody will ever identify it as transparent bullshit when you start a thread complaining that condoms are always too small, or that your glans keeps chafing on your shoelaces or some such.

55

Reading this thread… I feel so inadequate all of a sudden.

56

Methinks he doth post too much.

57

[QUOTE=silenus]
“Lightheadness due to blood loss when erect: Any solutions?”

Transfusions. I find that the additional unit of plasma helps maintain the diamond-hardness of my mighty member for at least 2 hours, or 4 orgasms (mine).
[/QUOTE]
I believe that’s called “blood doping” and has been banned in most European countries. Fortunately, it’s still legal here in the good ol’ US of A. :wink:

[QUOTE=Governor Quinn]
Others, meanwhile, think “Member” works well enough on its own, and doesn’t need the obvious alteration.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, come on! Just a little alteration? How about “Member At Large”? Or “Extra Large”? :smiley:

58

I think “Huge Member” would be appropriate.

59

“Tumescent Member”? :smiley:

60

How about “Member at Large.”