Still not sure why you’re avoiding the straightforward conversation. “I’m so glad you were able to join us for dinner. We really enjoy having you. If you don’t mind, please don’t bring your phone to the table. We’re eating in five minutes!”
B/c they don’t want the social consequences they imagine comes w/ a direct conversation and hopes passive-aggressive hints will make her change on her own w/ fewer consequences. They don’t want a fuss.
Since this person is the nephew’s girlfriend, is she perhaps feeling left out. Does the conversation revolve around family matters with which she’s not familiar? Are you engaging her in the conversation?
I vote that we accept the smart phone as the sensible alternative to pulling out the dictionary or encyclopedia at the dinner table. It can be just as conducive to a rambling conversation, and is much neater.
emphasis added
To whom? You listed the rock bottom basics children should know before they leave the high-chair.
Okay, exceptions can be made for the allergic, and “everything on the table” does not apply to holiday dinners and pot lucks, and no one smells the food anymore to see if it has gone over, but if you so much as look at your fork before the hostess picks up hers, or at least says, “please, don’t wait”, my eyes won’t be the only daggers flying at you.
Well, me for one. I’m probably just showing off my low class roots, but I can’t decide which sounds crazier to me: the no smelling your food rule or the no one even looks at their fork until the hostess starts eating rule. Both are completely outside my experience.
It’s not class, it’s manners. You’re not at the kiddie table anymore.
I honestly do not understand how you start to eat before your host(ess). I’d make a crack about wolves, but wolves are raised better. My Step Son The Marine told me how much these basic manners helped him in basic. The only question should be how the host cedes permission to dine in the absence of a hostess.
The Airmen we hosted for Thanksgiving knew these basic concepts (though they did manage to eat a full Thanksgiving dinner with out using a (jacquard linen) cloth napkin - weird, whatever) whiie being relaxed and comfortable in our home. They looked suspiciously at all the silver on the table (okay, sliver plate, whatever), but neither ate a bite until the host visibly got a nod from the hostess.
What was my point? Oh, people who grew up in a completely different environments can find mechanisms for respect00
Thanks for insulting my upbringing for not complying to your arbitrary standard, that shows real class. I’m out.
Another idea is just to accept she’s young and ignorant so ignore it and hope for the best.
I had a relative who used to do this also. Heck who doesnt have at least one young female relative or friend in their teens or early 20’s who did/does this? But she eventually matured and grew out of it. This young woman should do the same eventually.
She’s in her 40’s.
oops, I pictured a 20 year old.
Yea, not sure I’d want someone that old and immature in the family.
Let’s reserve our criticism for the uncouth woman in the OP, and not our fellow posters, shall we?
Thanks.
Cite?
In fact, if I wish to turn my entire home into a Faraday Cage, I am entirely within my rights as the homeowner to do so.
Nobody can tell me what level of electronic surveillance I must permit within the confines of my legal residence.
Will the FCC do? A jammer, which actively puts out a signal to interfere with/block other signals, is illegal.
Turning your house into a Faraday cage would be within your rights, but given the cost of copper mesh, probably outside your means.
Noted in the post just below yours, it doesn’t require copper mesh- a surprise to me. And yes, it’d be expensive as hell. But I was debating the legality, not the cost.
That said, if a thin layer of foil is all that is needed, that’s actually remarkably cheap and readily available. Many Celotex™-type of hard styrofoam insulation boards used in construction have a mylar layer on one side. I am guessing this is a vapor barrier. Anyway, if a Fritos bag can block successfully, I wonder how protected a cell signal would be in a room whose walls and ceiling are sheathed in mylar. Unlike copper mesh, rolls of mylar foil- or Celotex insulation, which you’d be wanting in the walls ANYWAY- may be quite affordable.
Lest Dopers think that this line of thinking is strictly the purvey of tin-foil-hatted lunatic fringe types whose numbers count in the dozens world-wide, I might suggest that Amazon dot com does not waste the electrons to list items that nobody wants to buy. Wanna buy a Faraday Pouch to cloak all of your devices so that they cannot relentlessly seep data such as your location? Fine- Buy a Faraday Pouch on Amazon. There are dozens and dozens of em.
And in an effort to loop my answer back around to this actual thread and the O.P., why not buy a large Faraday pouch and inform the young lady in question that everyone sitting at dinner is going to leave their phone in a shielded pouch for the duration. No buzzes, no vibrations, no ringtones, no notifications. It’s a family choice, and she is welcome to join it. That way, it’s a level playing field.
It is actually pretty tempting now that I am typing it out. Most large family gatherings devolve after a while into silence. One person has a good reason to whip out the cell phone- sharing a fun photo or video, etc. It’s as though everyone at the table has been silently waiting for their addictive urge to be fed, and when one cell phone appears, eleven more pop up. I readily admit to this addiction as well. But Dearly Beloved™ and I have found ourselves a few times at large gatherings, staring at each other as the table goes silent.
And it happens rapidly. Clearly most people are just dying to pull out their smartphones.
It’s depressing. Conversation lags and the default is to disengage from the conversation entirely.
The evil side of me kind of likes the idea of quietly putting up new wallpaper over a new layer of tinfoil and then shrugging in wide-eyed innocence when her phone can’t seem to get signal, but the way most dining rooms are laid out you wouldn’t be able to enclose the area. Plus doing the ceilings, floors, and doors of any structure after the fact would be prohibitive at best.
The thing is, she’d just switch over to a game app that doesn’t need wi-fi. Addicts just have to be on the phone itself, switching from app to app.
A Faraday pouch is easy, because you can permanently seal 3 sides of it, then put a double ziploc closure or the like on the open side.
Doing the same for your house would be insane. Maintaining Faraday cages big enough to hold a person and some test equipment is difficult - a hole in the mesh, or a broken or bent contact where the door closes can let in enough outside noise to ruin your experiment. Trying to seal an entire house that way with foil would be impossible
Is this really true? If the person isn’t just trying to avoid talking to people at all costs, I was under the impression that the burning need to constantly check your phone was mostly driven by the fear of missing an update or a comment opportunity.
I mean, that’s why I keep checking back here so often…
I don’t imagine you’d need a perfect Faraday cage to botch up phone reception pretty badly. However you would need to do at least a passable job of covering all large holes - doors, windows, air vents. Pulling this off, even vaguely passably, would be difficult, expensive, and really, really obvious.
get a hundred friends to text her during dinner telling her to turn her phone off.