Although my vote is for the golden shower line, you can’t forget this classic:
“There’s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman”.
- Willy
I was going to vote for the “Hershey Highwayman”. I think that’s the best.
Absolutely the filthiest:
Homer is hosting a barbecue. Dr. Hibbert asks him for a frankfurter. As he hands Hibbert the hot dog:
HOMER: One hot beef injection for the doctor!
I still can’t believe they got away with that one. I snickered, Beavis-like, for days.
This is more about the situation than the line, but one of the most erm… ‘adult’ references I remember in the Simpsons is from the episode where Lisa is left to babysit Bart for the evening. After Bart breaks his arm Lisa takes him in a wheelbarrow to Dr Nick’s allnight clinic. Smithers is near the front of the queue for treatment and Lisa asks if she can take his place. Smithers is stood up very awkwardly and stifly and says something along the lines of ‘no no, I really need to get this seen to’
Its not explained exactly what is is he’s suffering from, but unless I’m reading too much into this, the implication is pretty clear.
In the one where Mr. Burns is trying to be liked by the public (and eventually captures the Loch Ness monster) he goes on a Howard Stern-like radio show (Michael McKean did the voice) and he asks him, “How old were you when you had you’re first gay encounter?” to which Burns says something like, “Oh, when I was 10 father took me to an ice cream social. That was a gay old time. I ate my share of weiners that day”.
And her humorous, show-ending reply:
“I thought I did.”
What about the recent one where Flanders dates the movie star? She asks him if he’s gay, and he replies with something like, “My Lord, no. I don’t even eat vegetables longer than two inches!”
“America’s favorite eight and half incher!”
That line never fails to send me out of the room laughing.
Let us not forget when Marge was gardening and the scene pans past a bag of “Dirty Hoe Seed Corn.”
And although it’s not dirtyin and of itself, it implies so much. When the Las Vegas wives leave Springfield after failing to make their marriages to Ned and Homer stick, they say, “Let’s go back to Vegas, I’m sure there are poker games we can be won at!”
And let’s not forget his final exchange with Maude, as she goes to get hot dogs.
Maude: I’ll get some hot dogs.
Ned: No foot-longs!
Maude: I know, they make you uncomfortable.
“Ix-nay on the Ash-hole-tray, Marge”
Maude is getting Ned a hotdog…
NED: “Oh, and Maude…?”
MAUDE: “I know, I know, Neddy… no footlongs. They make you nervous.”
(Or something like that.)
Heh… I was thinking of that one too Zenster. I just saw it last night.
There’s some here that I hadn’t yet seen, but the “Golden Showers” one still wins, I think.
In the episode where Homer moves in the with two gay guys from this past season, Homer and them are eating breakfast. One of the guys complains about the food or something, and Homer replies with something like:
“You’ve been riding his ass all morning, and not in a good way!”
Wasn’t there an episode once where Homer invented a drink that you touch a match to and it burns for a few moments?
Mo stole the idea from Homer and called the drink “A Flaming Mo.”
Customers kept coming into the bar saying things like:
“Give me a Flaming Mo.”
“I want a Flaming Mo.”
“A Flaming Mo for me.”
Morningwood Penitentiary
But do any of these lines come close to Barbara Billingsley’s comment to Hugh Beaumont: “Ward, you were awfully hard on the Beaver last night.” ?
Mouth whoopie.
When the family goes to the Knowledgeum, everyone announces what they’re going to do. Bart declares that he is off to “toss the virtual salad”.
They also used a salad-tossing comment during the prison rodeo.
Then there was the time they had the screaming caterpillar, and Homer was in front of the judge for attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery.
I still think the Dick Tracy/Prune Face one is my favorite, though.