In looking around at the landscape of people I know it seems the old saw of the most successful and happy men having a supportive female partner is not without some truth.
In My Humble Opinion, and that of everyone in my life, I am a far better man now that I am married to my awesome wife. While I can only speak for myself, the answer to your question, in my opinion, is yes.
There are so many cliches I could use here, from “she completes me”, to “you make me want to be a better man.” They are sappy and true. Again, for me.
She is maddly in love with me, and I am fortunate to feel the same about her. I am a very lucky and happy man. What would I be without her? Just another swinging dick in this man’s Navy, drinking and whoring way too much. That life was fun, but I wasn’t happy.
Let’s see:
[ol]
[li]The great majority of men want to find a woman for a wife or equivalent.[/li]
[li]Such a man is going to be less happy than he could be until he gets his desire.[/li]
[li]A bad partner can make him feel worse than none at all.[/li][/ol]
So; it seems like pretty straightforward logic that most men are indeed going to be at their happiest when in a good relationship with a woman. And switch “man” for “woman” and it applies to them too.
On rhe other hand, that doesn’t mean that men or women who are loners would be happier if they gritted their teeth and found someone to partner up with. Or that gays & lesbians are less happy with their partners than straights are with theirs.
You know how the saying goes - behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
I wonder if it might not be the reverse - that men naturally inclined towards happiness and success just have an easier time finding a mate.
Have you never seen a successful and happy gay man?
If the stats are to be believed, then yes, men need a wife/partner to make them healthier and wealthier.
On the other hand, it’s single women who win the longevity stakes.
So, women help men to live long and fruitful lives, but for a woman, having a man in your life will kill you earlier.
Take yer’ pick!!
All of the cats keep the single women alive.
I was always of the belief that cats sucked the lifeblood or the breath outta you.
Seems I was mistaken.
Maybe they suck it out of other people and give it to the woman, and that’s why she lives longer? She’s a cat-vampire-by-proxy! Sending forth her furry undead legions to consume the life force of unsuspecting mortals!
I’d say yes, but not in a good way. I don’t think most guys are already at their best and women bring them up to new amazing heights…its more that most men are insecure/unconfident/needy and get their validation and self-worth externally, so they feel incomplete and unimportant until a woman tells them they love them.
Ideally a man should have his shit together on his own and be at his best regardless of who’s in his life, but the Jerry Macguire “you complete me” mentality has a bunch of guys running at half-speed waiting for some perfect girl to fix us and make us see our potential instead of taking the reigns ourselves.
Chicks are great but a man should already have a purpose, drive, desire, and path in life.
- TWTTWN
what they don’t need for all that is an ex-wife, though. I would have put an 
here, but unfortunately in this day and age this is no longer a laughing matter.
This. I don’t need a woman in my life to be successful and happy . . . but my partner helps considerably; I don’t know what my life would be like without him.
Why do married men tend to die before their wives?
Because they want to.
A strong marriage makes it possible for me to be a better person. This has nothing to do with being “completed”, but the more practical effect of being part of a team and splitting responsibilities. There’s a lot of crap that goes into day to day living, and specialization is more efficient than trying to do it all yourself: he takes a bunch of the stuff I hate off my plate and I do the same for him. This leaves me with more time and energy for other things.
And, I will admit, regular sex and backrubs probably make me more mellow and generally more pleasant to be around.
Ya but you’re a chick, having a partner is good for you because you’re laid up for 9 months when pregnant and then stuck with a baby to raise (not that having a baby isn’t a wonderful experience, but the guy can run away from the responsibility a lot easier), and once a month PMS makes you nuts. Teamwork benefits you because it ensures stability/security.
If anything, I’ve found women will hold a guy back. I can’t be the only one who knows guys who had dreams of being a rockstar (catch-all phrase there, basically making a career out of their statistically-unlikely-to-be-profitable hobby/passion), or travelling the world, or working on that dream project/hobby, or living in that dream location, or owning that dream possession (car, boat, etc.), who put that all on hold because their girl told them to settle down and be realistic (since she wants stability/security), or their girl didn’t want them to go on that dream adventure because it’s too dangerous, or their girl didn’t want to move away from her family/job so he stayed put, or who won’t let him invest his money in that thing he’s always wanted because it’s silly to her to “waste” that money…besides, they need that money for the ridiculously extravagant wedding she wants.
Males in society today are overall pretty pussified. “A generation of men raised by women” and all that jazz. That’s not entirely a bad thing, there’s a lot more social tolerance and such now. But we’re raised to seek approval/validation externally (“I hope everyone likes me and approves of my ideas and we all get along”) instead of finding it within (“This is the code and set of beliefs I live by, and I don’t care whether you approve of them or not”).
A lot of guys work out because they want to impress women. When they get a girl they stop working out because they’ve achieved their goal and they end up fat and slobbish. Why not work out because you want to push your body to it’s limits and be your best self? Whether there’s women in your life or not, you’ll be at your peak physical shape.
A lot of guys get good careers because they want to be rich to impress women. When they get a girl they end up stuck working in shitty jobs they hate because the job pays well and their girl is accustomed to a certain standard of living and she doesn’t want to uproot her life to move to that other city so he can work that different job he wants. Why not push your career to challenge yourself and discover your potential? Whether there’s women in your life or not, you’ll be a success and be happy in your career.
A lot of guys are waiting to meet a girl who can help them finally grow up (see the prevalent fat loser husband married to the “whipping him into shape” wife in sitcoms these days). Why not force yourself to grow up so you learn to rely on yourself and be a man who’s an independant force on his own? Whether there’s women in your life or not, you’ll still be someone who can handle things when shit hits the fan.
In my experience the guys who go “I was nothing until I met my wife, she made me who I am today” and “she makes me want to be a better man”, were, before they met their future-wives, not guys that many people would consider quality male role models.
For those guys, yeah, their girl brought out the best in them…but why weren’t they trying to be their best self before that?
Where was their ambition? Did they have role models to look up to? Why were they so satisfied with just wandering through life without wanting to see what they’re made of? Is that a cultural/societal thing? The by-product of being raised by single moms and whipped beta dads? The by-product of being raised in a society that suspends them for fist-fighting in elementary school, gives everyone participation awards so no one’s feelings are hurt, puts them on Ritalin if they’re too rowdy, scolds them for defending their opinions that others might not agree with or warning them not to argue and risk hurting someone else’s feelings?
- TWTTWN
They’re afraid to die and get eaten by all their fuzzy babies.
{Bolding mine} Freudian slip?
You’re making a lot of assumptions here. To start with, women don’t always like being called “chicks.” Also, a surprisingly high percentage of women don’t want kids. Thirdly, not all women have PMS, and not all women use it as an excuse to be an asshole.
If a guy wants to be a rock star and tour the world, he needs to not try to get into a serious relationship with one woman who doesn’t want to be the wife left behind. I get the impression that you’re a pretty young guy, dating pretty young women. The women you know might have bought into the “idiot man-child vs. all-knowing, all-powerful woman” stereotypes, but they don’t really fly in the real world of grown-up men marrying grown-up women.
I don’t see how only women benefit from security/stability: for example, my husband was able to go to grad school because of my income: I think that’s a pretty common story, with both genders playing both roles in different cases. I know any number of men (and women) who could afford to pursue a less lucrative career because their wives (or husbands) made a living that providing both of them with the basic security/standard of living they both wanted. For example, my parents are both well-paid professionals, but both have, at different times, taken low paying jobs with start-ups in the hopes of hitting the jackpot. It didn’t work for either of them, but they were able to take the risk because of the other person’s income.
You seem convinced that only women are interested in standard-of-living issues. I don’t think that’s at all the case: in fact, I’d say one of the traits of a good marriage is that the couple more or less agree on the standard of living they consider acceptable.
Gay men don’t - unless you believe they can’t be happy and successful.
:dubious: I’m pretty sure most women don’t experience PMS.
I’m curious…do you think gay guys are stronger than straight guys, since they don’t have to impress women or rely on them?
Do adult men need women to be the best people they can be?
I don’t want to be married to a member of the Army; Mrs. J. is working out just fine.